the ultimate strip club list

October 7, 2008  •  Vol. 15, Issue 280

I went here with my younger brother and some of his friends. The club is a little run down, small, has the atmosphere of a small town, hole in the wall bar, because that's basically what it is. There's a very small stage at the end. The stage isn't up very high, and there's a solid rail around it for some reason. There's no DJ, just a juke box that the girls have to feed to get their songs. They go around asking for juke box money before they dance. Drinks are fairly cheap, and the cover was only $5 I think. There's not much of a lap dance area, just a corner booth by the door, with no privacy at all.

The dancers varied greatly, some were pretty good looking, some were awful. They were all friendly though, and visited with you quite a bit. One did come up and ask my brother for music money while eating a cracker and sardine, which was not received well. The smell of sardines is not what you want at a strip club. I didn't even bother asking how much a lap dance was. We were also a little irritated that the girl on stage was telling us about her kids while she was stripping. If you tip them more than a few bucks, they'll do quite a bit though. One girl squatted down and started playing with her clit for a $5 tip.

I would probably go back there if I was already drunk and someone else drove, but that's about it.

What can you say about a club that's in a double-wide trailer? It does have a nice front porch and a full bar with paneled walls. It also has a variety of dancers working on a small stage with a tip rail. The girls are average in looks, and occasionally they have dancers come in from Minneapolis. That's about the only time you ever see African-Americans in these clubs.

The club only offers lap dances for $20.00 and they aren't very comfortable. They sit you in a chair inside a railed-in area that's not much bigger than the chair itself. The dancer only gets topless and a bouncer stands close by to make sure neither of you really have a chance to enjoy yourselves, let alone break their rules.

The only thing that makes the place worthy of a stop is that it is open on Sundays when all the other clubs in the area are closed. Other than that, it's not really worth the drive.

I went there early on a Tuesday evening and paid the $3 cover. A beer was $3.50 as I recall. They had 5 girls working and they ranged from about 6 to 8 in the looks department. They danced for 3 songs each.

They took it all off and showed the goodies pretty well. I was offered a $25 lap dance - a little steep for the middle of nowhere. I took a pass. Don't go out of your way to get here, but if your heading up State Hwy 35, it's not a bad place to kill a few minutes.

I'm knocking off one point for lack of energy, another for being a dive, one more because the girls are mediocre, and one more for charging a cover in at 6:30 in the evening in hicksville. Still, this place is way better than the nearby Gin Mill and it's the only place anywhere near LaCrosse. I went to Gin Mill and 4 Mile in the same evening, but I think my favorite was a signless bar named George's (NOT as stripclub) in Bluff Siding where I stopped for directions but stayed for a beer so I could watch the bartender strutt around in her lowriders.

Like we always say...YMMV. And mine certainly varied from the previous reviewer. On a recent weeknight, 4 Mile was pretty unexciting. Two fair dances from a chick named Amber, but otherwise not a lot of reason to return. The place is smallish, clean enough and reasonably friendly. There's one armchair in the back corner, but I saw no one else buy a dance in 90 minutes. 6-8 customers hung out at the rail. 3-4 dancers working, including a black chick with lots of miles. Adding a small private dance area would do wonders for this place.