the ultimate strip club list

October 7, 2008  •  Vol. 15, Issue 280

Beach Club is known as the original table dance club in Pattaya. Instead dancing on stage, each table is a mini stage. the table top is a mirror, so you can see the goodies by looking down as well as looking up. The girls are dressed in tops and short skirts and no panties. If you give them a tip (about 50 cents), they will flash you for like 2 seconds. This may sound cheap, but the pussy-time-cost value :-) is actually worse than in US strip clubs. I got bored really quickly.

As with almost all clubs in Pattaya, there is no cover charge but there is a one drink minimum, and the girls are also available for OTC activities (some prefer not to go as they accumulate more money by through the tips without leaving the club). The club serves alcohol and standard drinks, and the prices are $3-$4.


THE FUNDAMENTALS
----------------------------

Dancer Looks: 7.0 (top three girls) , 6.0 (overall average)

Stage Mileage: 8.0 (lighting) , 3.0 (nudity)

Angelwitch has some of the best shows that you can see anywhere. Although they do have some regular go-go dancers in between the shows, it is the Vegas style shows that are the main draw. It is a big club with two floors and poles running all the way to the ceiling. The girls will often descend from the poles down to the main stage. Often they will pull a participant from the audience to be in the show. It is pretty expensive for Patts but worth going to. The girls are beautiful but are often stuck up or expensive if you want to take one home. This is a better place to bring a girl from another bar with you.

Angelwitch is a new arrival to Pattaya. It is located further down Soi 14 from Beach Club, off Walking Street. Its sister club in Bangkok has a long tradition in having great shows. Hands down, Angelwitch in Pattaya has the best shows in all of Thailand. Nothing even comes close. They have a very elaborate stage, even with firehouse poles the girls use to slide down from upstairs. The shows are almost continuous during prime time, with occasional 10-minute breaks of regular gogo dancing.

The showgirls are beautiful, and the dance routines end up in complete nudity. The variety of the show themes is quite entertaining. One time they had a bachelor type of show with a customer on stage tied up. Instead of the US strip club style of beating him up, the girl got completely nude and gave him a memorable show and touch.

As with almost all clubs in Pattaya, there is no cover charge but there is a one drink minimum, and the girls are also available for OTC activities (the gogo girls for sure, but not necessarily the showgirls). The club serves alcohol and standard drinks, and the prices are $3-$4.


THE FUNDAMENTALS
----------------------------

Dancer Looks: 8.5 (top three girls) , 7.0 (overall average)

Stage Mileage: 8.0 (lighting) , 7.0 (nudity) , 10.0 (show)

Club Boesche is a relatively recent arrival in Pattaya, but it has gotten a lot of good press quickly. Downstairs there is the main stage, where girls dance topless or bikini, and the Jacuzzi area where 3 stark-naked girls at a time are having fun in the water and with the customers. The same 3 girls remain there for more than an hour. Upstairs is further seating overlooking the first floor, plus a shower show that was never on while I was there.

As with almost all clubs in Pattaya, there is no cover charge but there is a one drink minimum, and the girls are also available for OTC activities. The club serves alcohol and standard drinks, and the prices are $3-$4. They are open in earnest from around 9:00 PM until 2:30 AM.

The Jacuzzi "show" is absolute de-BOESCHE-ry :-) . Short of having actual sex with the customers in public, the girls do the mother of all lap dances for few minutes each, and are happy to get a $3 tip for it. Everybody seems to be having a great time in this mini party. Shyness is no where to be found.

I place Club Boesche second only to Angelwitch in terms of the show quality. The lineup is OK but not great, and the go-go type dancing on the main stage is run-of-the mill. The Jacuzzi show, however, is something to behold (and sometimes hold!).


THE FUNDAMENTALS
----------------------------

Dancer Looks: 7.0 (top three girls) , 6.0 (overall average)

Jacuzzi Mileage: 9.0 (lighting) , 10.0 (nudity) , 9.5 (show)

Lap Mileage: 9.0

Song Length: long :-)

Lap Cost: $3 tip (nude)


The Pump Station is not a strip club (go go), it is simply a bj bar. The downstairs is just a small bar with a few couches wre the ladies will talk to you for a few minutes before asking if you want to go to the upstairs bar. Upstairs is darkly lit and there are a few couches in the corners if you choose or you can sit at the bar which has room under it for the lady to kneel. Total cost is 400 baht for room and 375 for girl (about $25). Good place for an afternoon stop before going out for the evening.

Heaven Above gets very positive reviews on the boards. It is located above Super Baby A-gogo in Soi Diamond off Walking Street. It is smaller than I thought, and the stage is lower than the usual stage (an advantage in my opinion). The style of the place is white modern, and it does feel unique among the Pattaya clubs.

However, I did not think much of the lineup. In one of my two visits, there was one girl already dressed to go out with a customer, and she was a complete stunner. Other than her, it seemed like a regular lineup for this town, perhaps a bit above average. On the stage, there are occasional shows, but they are pretty lame compared to the more sophisticated shows that sprung all over town. Anyway, maybe good for a visit, but you should perhaps go early before the better girls are taken away.

As with almost all clubs in Pattaya, there is no cover charge but there is a one drink minimum, and the girls are also available for OTC activities. The club serves alcohol and standard drinks, and the prices are $3-$4.


THE FUNDAMENTALS
----------------------------

Dancer Looks: 7.5 (top three girls) , 6.5 (overall average)

Stage Mileage: 7.0 (lighting) , 3.0 (nudity) , 4.0 (show)

Super Baby is a little different from most of the gogo in Pattaya in that it caters to mostly Japanese and Korean tourists. Even the announcer/dj speaks in Japanese rather than English as in most places. This place has long been regarded as having some of the most stunning dancers in Pattaya, but having very high prices. The Asian tourists are generally charged more or are willing to pay more and the girls expect it from everyone. You can find a lot of good looking girls in Super Baby, but expect to pay 50-100% more than you would in another gogo.

Super Baby A-gogo is on Soi Diamond, a wide lane with beer bars off Walking Street. It is one of the oldest and most famous clubs in Pattaya. It's different from other clubs in that the real action starts early here, so if you go at 8:00 PM things will be in full swing. The club has one stage, and the girls are topless with an occasional nude show, for which they darken the stage :-(

The club has had the most consistent lineup in town. I would rank their lineup currently to be second only to Peppermint Palace. Baby is always good for a quick early visit. It gets boring a bit fast, but the next day it looks interesting again. :-)

As with almost all clubs in Pattaya, there is no cover charge but there is a one drink minimum, and the girls are also available for OTC activities. The club serves alcohol and standard drinks, and the prices are $3-$4.

Recommended as an early evening opener of bar hopping.


THE FUNDAMENTALS
----------------------------

Dancer Looks: 8.5 (top three girls) , 7.0 (overall average)

Stage Mileage: 6.0 (lighting) , 6.0 (nudity) , 5.5 (show)



Peppermint Palace is a spacious club on the second floor, further down Walking Street. The main stage to the right is bikini (with an occasional topless show). The small stage to the left is topless with see-through skirts (and no panties). The small "cage" stage at the end is nude. The club is popular, and for good reason. It has the best lineup in Pattaya IMHO. There are about 40 dancers, and half of them will rock your world. Less than $2 in tips will get you attention, and a $3-4$ tip (or buying the lady a drink for that price) will get you a lot of attention, if you know what I mean.

As with almost all clubs in Pattaya, there is no cover charge but there is a one drink minimum, and the girls are also available for OTC activities. The club serves alcohol and standard drinks, and the prices are $3-$4.

It's hard to get bored here, so I highly recommend it for multiple visits when you are in town.

THE FUNDAMENTALS
----------------------------

Dancer Looks: 9.0 (top three girls) , 7.5 (overall average)

Stage Mileage: 8.0 (lighting) , 7.0 (nudity) , 6.0 (show)

Happy A-gogo is at the end of a side lane off Walking Street. You can't miss it since
you will be bombarded with their "welcome girls" as you explore Walking Street. The main stage is immediately in front of you as you enter, there is a new side stage if you go left and left, and a small one-dancer stage to your right. The girls dance topless, and every hour or so they have a group of nude girls do a 10-minute set on the stage. The side stage is less interesting and less busy.

The lineup at Happy is the third best in Pattaya IMHO (the honor of the first place goes to Peppermint Palace, which is their sister club). There used to be shows before, but other than the nude number, I haven't seen any shows this time.

As with almost all clubs in Pattaya, there is no cover charge but there is a one drink minimum, and the girls are also available for OTC activities. The club serves alcohol and standard drinks, and the prices are $3-$4.

Happy has had a reputation of being a stuck-up, high-pressure place. I have not found that to be the case. Everybody was friendly and I had a good time.


THE FUNDAMENTALS
----------------------------

Dancer Looks: 8.0 (top three girls) , 6.5 (overall average)

Stage Mileage: 8.0 (lighting) , 8.0 (nudity), 7.5 (show)

Location and lodging:
This club is in south Pattaya on Walking Street, which is blocked to vehicle traffic after 6 p.m., in a waterfront area of international restaurants, shopping, more than two dozen go-go clubs and a hundred open-air bars tended by girls. At the far end of the street is a four-star resort featuring nightly a seaside, outdoor buffet, in case you are really hungry. A room there will set you back $60-$80, depending on the season. Other Pattaya hotels, most including tax and free buffet breakfast, go for around $20-$35 and have swimming pools. Transportation around town can be had for as little as 25 cents per person for a seat in the back of one of the scores of available pickup-trucks. (If you just hop in without asking questions and hop out after ringing the bell to stop anywhere along the five-mile circle route they take, it's only 25 cents. If you have the driver take you or your party to a specific location, even off his normal route, and not pick up passengers along the way, then it's like a taxi and he will ask a group rate of up to three dollars for the trip, which you are free to negotiate.

The club:
There is seating for about 100 patrons, stagefront and on high benches with small tables along the walls, and more seating around a corner to the left where there are two smaller stages. The music is usually classic rock and not too loud. The DJ is silent.

The prices: (I use average prices as the exchange rate does fluctuate a bit)
Hours: 8 p.m. to 2 a.m. seven days a week (Some clubs open earlier)
Admission: As with all Pattaya go-go clubs there is no admission
Minimum: One drink
Alcohol: Full bar available. $2.00 for beer, $2.50 for mixed drinks
Lady Drinks: $2.75
Happy hours: small beer $1.25

The laws:
If you see the girls cover up it is usually because the law is nearby. Not to worry. The clubs, if they've paid their respects to the proper people, have been warned in advance and the coverup is just until the boys in brown pass by. Nudity is illegal but those laws had only been enforced in recent years by the government of the prime minister just thrown out of office by the military for being a crook. The clothes had been coming off again in Pattaya recently as his power was fading. Sex in public is illegal. But whatever arrangement made between consenting adults -- and they do mean over 18! -- for activities behind closed doors is their own d... business.

The girls:
There will be between 30 and 80 girls working at Happy, depending on the night and the season. You will never see all of them at one time as some come in later and some have already left with customers. Many who have left will return in a couple hours. There are usually about a dozen or more dancers on center stage and another 10 total on the two stages around the corner. Most of the girls are topless, some dance nude some of the time and others dance nude all of the time. Most of the girls are pretty and some are drop dead gorgeous. Most have very pleasant personalities and are eager to make you "happy." Some speak better English than others, but all communicate in a way you both understand. There is none of the "suckee -suckee" talk made fanous in U.S. movies. They appreciate a gentleman and no one is forcing them to go with you.

The final cost:
There are no lap dances or table dances to pay for. There is no tipping expected anywhere beyond 25-cents or so (if you want to be that cheap) to your waitress at the end of your visit. Your bar tab, including a lady drink. will probably be under $10 as it won't take you long to find a girl you can't resist. She will have a beautiful smile, a sweet personality, be very attentive, and have skin so soft you will think you are imagining it. She may look 18 but most likely be 22 or more. It will cost you $12.50 to pay the bar fine for removing a dancer from their entertainment line-up. This is also how the bar makes a lot of it's money as whatever the girl makes after leaving is all hers. The cost to take her to your room for a couple hours of Tiddly-winks, including an asssisted shower before and after (Tiddly-winks can really work up a sweat), will at most be $38, or $50 for an all-night sleepover. A $12 tip (500 baht) is greatly appreciated. Some hotels will charge you around $10 for having a nighttime guest, but many hotels won't. Just ask before booking if they charge for an "extra bed." But be careful when associating with Thai girls! You might fall in love.



I recommend that every western visitor to Pattaya make a trip to Galaxy a few days into his visit, not to enjoy it, but to remember how pathetic Strip Clubs in the west are and why he escaped to Pattaya in the first place. :-) You got it, the girls are Western, not Thai, mostly from Eastern Europe and the old Soviet Union.

Galaxy is located on the second floor next to Polo, half way into Walking Street. It has a show window with one of the girls dancing to entice the guys in the street to come in. When you do, you are offered 5-second air dances from disinterested girls. The best you can do is just stick to watching the topless girls on the small stages for a while, then move on to greener territory. The girls are not bad looking per se, they are just dripping with coldness and attitude.

There is no cover charge but there is a one drink minimum, and I am not sure the girls are also available for OTC activities (maybe they are at Western prices). The club serves alcohol and standard drinks, and the prices are higher, around $6-$8.


THE FUNDAMENTALS
----------------------------

Dancer Looks: 7.5 (top three girls) , 6.5 (overall average)

Stage Mileage: 7.0 (lighting) , 1.0 (nudity)

Lap Mileage: 1.0

Song Length: 5 seconds (regular)

Lap Cost: $2 tip (topless)

When I visited Polo a few years ago, I was blown away by their show. Extremely sexy shows by beautiful girls who are all smiles. Nudity was abundant. This time, it was a huge disappointment. They changed the club layout (to make room for the next-door Galaxy, I guess), and the stage show was mediocre at best. None of the girls really caught my eyes. I think the new show clubs like Angelwitch have pulled the rug from under the more traditional ones like Polo and Living Dolls Showcase.

As with almost all clubs in Pattaya, there is no cover charge but there is a one drink minimum, and the girls are also available for OTC activities (the gogo girls for sure, but not necessarily the showgirls). The club serves alcohol and standard drinks, and the prices are $3-$4.

THE FUNDAMENTALS
----------------------------

Dancer Looks: 7.0 (top three girls) , 6.0 (overall average)

Stage Mileage: 8.0 (lighting) , 5.0 (nudity) , 5.0 (show)

Living Dolls Showcase further down Walking Street. It is not to be confused with New Living Dolls 1, which you run into earlier. Mind you, there is no Old Living Dolls or Living Dolls 2, so why the heck do they call the other club New Living Dolls 1 is beyond me. Anyway, Living Dolls Showcase was the club that introduced the real shows to gogo clubs in Pattaya. It is a good size club with a center stage in the back. Right now, the shows here are nothing to write home about. Definitely not in the league of Angelwitch. However, the showgirls are pretty attractive, and the club still has some loyal following.

As with almost all clubs in Pattaya, there is no cover charge but there is a one drink minimum, and the girls are also available for OTC activities (the gogo girls for sure, but not necessarily the showgirls). The club serves alcohol and standard drinks, and the prices are $3-$4.

THE FUNDAMENTALS
----------------------------

Dancer Looks: 8.0 (top three girls) , 6.5 (overall average)

Stage Mileage: 7.0 (lighting) , 5.0 (nudity)

Nice go-go bar with good (western) management. It is a pretty small place compared to western strip clubs, but typical of Pattaya. The night I was there it had about 30 girls dancing and maybe about 10 customers. It was fairly hassle free with the girls not pestering you too much for drinks. The one drawback was that the girls danced on a pretty short rotation and it was difficult to start a conversation with a girl before her next dance rotation. If you see a girl you like just smile at her and wave her over. Bar fine was 600 baht which was typical but the girl I was with asked for 2500 baht for long-time (overnight) which is definitely on the high end for Pattaya. Overall a decent place with nice looking girls.

I must be going to this place at the wrong times. I have never seen any of the girls flashing anything in here (Except for a smile). I'm not saying that it's not a fun place. The girls seem to actually be having fun which is not always the case in Thailand. They have a sports bar section with tv's usually tuned in to football (soccer). I like this bar, but there are much better options in Pattaya for checking out the girls.