the ultimate strip club list

a guy's guide to strip clubs

July 9, 2008  •  Vol. 15, Issue 190

Visited on Friday April 4th from around 8:00 to 11:00 or so. In my opinion Sassy's gets my vote for the best wiggles in the Portland area, despite the claim of Jiggle's ads. The dancing is fabulously entertaining. On the 4th they had 6 girls doing 3 song sets on 2 stages. Whatever construction the previous reviewer talked about was apparently done by this time, although I didn't see anything different about the club since I was there in January. I think it's the best place to be on a Friday night if you want to see some amazing dancing without overwhelming crowds of people. I wrote about the girls and their dances in my last review, but this time Kendall was nothing short of breathtaking. A bleach blonde with gorgeous skin and only a few little tattoos, she has the energy and body to bring the walls down in that place. Only one of a few girls I've ever seen who can keep pace with about any heavy metal song they throw at her. God, she's amazing! Anyway, I'll be back for sure and would recommend Sassy's anytime Pistolita, Kendall, Malice or Bea are there. Those girls work it.

Sassy's is pretty much the quintessential dive bar strip club- most of the time, it's fairly entertaining. However, last time I was in, the place was under construction, and only one of the stages was open... meaning that the dancers were in a horrible mood and there wasn't anywhere to sit. The experience wasn't exactly my idea of a good time.

I wouldn't recommend the place until the construction ends. Why they couldn't just close for a week and be done with it, I don't know.

I was here for the first time about a year ago and really enjoyed the quality of the dances in terms of choreography and energy. I was not disappointed this time.

I showed up at 7:30 pm on a Friday evening, knowing that the most accomplished performers would start at 9:00pm. When I arrived there were 3 girls doing 3 song sets on 1 stage. At 9:00 pm 6 performers did 3 song sets on both stages. I was charged no cover. The service was excellent. I had a great sandwich. Wait staff were plentiful and checked on things quite regularly. Sassy's has one short brunette waitress who is absolutely gorgeous. Amanda also has a delightful personality and works her little tail off. She's great. The DJ's switched at 9:00, but both were good. The music was a little louder than I like, but then I'm a little older than I would like. I did like the music, which was mostly 80's rock. Sassy's has a game room area with a couple pool tables and video games, which is where you first come into the club. There are 2 stages. The main stage has a spinning pole and pretty high tip rail that limits the view for floor routines. The second stage has a fixed pole with a lower tip rail. Behind the second stage is a private dance area with the view obscured to some degree by sheer fabric. Some people asked for private dances, but the girls don't actively solicit. Sassy's has the best website of any club in the area with weekly dancer schedules posted on sassysbar.com.

From 7:30 to 9:00 pm the three day-shift girls did not really impress. They just didn't seem to have much enthusiasm or energy and would spend much of their time simply chatting with patrons with only minor dancing. However, the 9:00pm group really turned it on. In my mind the distinctive of Sassy's most popular dancers is that they are powerful, energetic, and do thoughtfully choreographed routines, but still connect with their customers. The girls are also really hot, but most have lots of tattoos, of which I am not a fan. If you like tattoos I would rate the girls from an 8 to a 10. They all have natural looking breasts, are very fit, and are attractive in the face. Bea, who is a 2006 Exotic Magazine cover girl, is an extremely fluid dancer who did an unforgettable routine that included the Johnny Cash song, Folsom County Prison. Pistolita is the Exotic 2008 January cover girl and is just stunning in face and body. Malice, who won Barfly Magazine's Sexiest Stripper of the Year award in 2006 does amazing pole tricks and awesome choreography. Rocket, who is heavily tattooed, is one of the most personable, warm dancers around. Natalie, who wears glasses, strikes me as that teacher or librarian who you imagine being totally naughty. She does a jaw dropping upside down pole routine. And Kendall, OMG! Let me just say that she is a deliciously decadent visual treat. She is highly recommended.

So my only criticisms are just all the tattoos and the fact that unless you are a regular, it is not really that easy to get chat time with the girls because they don't approach you. I guess that's a good reason to become a regular, and I will definitely be back.


Sassy's is a simple dive bar with a couple stages. As with standard strip club flow the days have slightly friendlier girls but they tend not to be the perfect fantasy girls that come out at night to raid your wallet at night.

The real reason I like this bar is the staff and vibe. Everyone is happy and generally nice here and it is reflected in the patrons. This is more a neighborhood bar with women getting naked than the classic dark strip club. I've had many a good conversation with my fellow customers and even forgotten about the stage at times. Happily not a reflection on the girls but that the folks I've talked to here are interesting.

Drinks are reasonable ($5-$10), the food is actually good, at night they can have a <$5 cover...