the ultimate strip club list

a guy's guide to strip clubs

July 9, 2008  •  Vol. 15, Issue 190

Oh man, I wish I had read this place's reviews. Man this place sucked. The bartender, a former dancer, wanted me to buy her 9 dollar drinks - she doesn't dance, doesn't strip, doesn't do laps, and only serves (herself!) drinks. Why would someone buy her a drink? The one dancer there was 40 pounds past curvy and was actually ticked that I walked in and she was told to go dance. The place was dirty and not worth anything. Horrible. Don't waste a minute here. Lame Lame Lame.

I should have believed the other reviews, but the other clubs were too busy, and I wanted to find out for sure.

There were only two girls there, neither of them attractive. Both were sitting talking to the bar tender. The bartender was also far from attractive, but still asked if I wanted to buy her a drink. I stayed for a couple of minutes, but neither dancer gave any indication that she was interested in dancing or even talking. I did not even find out how much the dances were.

Please don't waste your time.

This is undoubtably the worst club in Ohio. It should just close and make everybody happy. You can usually get in for no cover, but that is because at the most, there are only three girls working and none are better than a 6. The one girl doubles as the bartender and all of the girls prefer to hawk drinks instead of dancing. Drinks for the girls are $8 and I believe that it must be a club rule that the first words out of each dancer's mouth must be, "would you buy me a drink" because they ask it right away. If you buy them one, they will actually talk to you briefly (they usually get a shot, down it and then walk away, coming back minutes later to get another drink from you). Last time I was there, the old guy running the place pushed me out because I refused to buy the girl a drink and I was a little slow (a minute or two) in ordering another drink for myself. Since then, I have been by the place 50 times and they never have more than three cars in it.

I swore I wouldn't return here, but my car kinda steered itself in here on Saturday night. There was only one girl working, and she doubled as the barmaid. At least they didn't charge me the ridiculous cover charge to get in to watch one overweight girl klutz around on the little circle of wood that passes for a stage.

No one seems to go here ever anymore. Gee, I wonder why.

Semi-finished basement ambiance; unattractive girls that are remarkably unsexy; great pressure to buy (overpriced) drinks from these same unsexy girls; a dwindling number of these unsexy girls to choose from (if one were even to want to choose one); and a stiff cover charge as well.

It has degenerated to being the worst excuse for a club I've ever seen; and frankly the worst excuse for a club I can even imagine.