the ultimate strip club list

a guy's guide to strip clubs

July 9, 2008  •  Vol. 15, Issue 190

Hadn't been to Knockouts in a long time, finally went back. A lot of the higher mileage girls were gone, but I still managed to have a good time. The best part about this place is the $2.50 Tecate 16 oz cans.

Go here if you are in downtown Albuquerque and feel like looking at some tits while you get drunk... Otherwise, head to TD's!

Knockouts has had a slight remodeling done, mostly rearranging of the booths in the private and installing a few more cameras. You can still get a good lap dance from the right dancer though. I wonder if the owners have changed? Knockouts is a second tier club in Albuquerque, with the two TDs being the tops.

It is still worth a visit if you are in downtown Albuquerque though. The best time to visit is late in the afternoon or early evening. During the early afternoon, it is dead and later at night it gets busy. It is pretty dead on weekend afternoons. Knockouts is dark with a bar along one side, a stage that can have two dancers at a time in the middle, and private booths in the front, to the right of the door when you come in. Ther is a more open private dance area in teh front, but teh dance price is higher, so I don't really see what the purpose is. It is a dark bar.

Drinks are reasonably priced, and they have drink specials from time to time. Songs are usually full length, so you get your money's worth. There is a doorman to insure that everyone has their ID, knows about the 2 drink minimum, and that the no touching rules are more or less enforced. Depending on the time of day there can be as few as 3 or as many as a dozen girls dancing. At $5 a dance on the floor, the dances on the floor are a real bargain, but most girls will try to get you to try a private dance for $10. They are usually worth the extra, but not always. It depends on the girl. Private dances are relatively private, but depending on the doorman, he may come in and look things over as often as once a dance. Sometimes the doorman doesn't look at all. Brianna gives a good dance as does Joanna. Nicari gives a very nice dances, but will try to get extra money from you. Bridgette is not far behind. This is probably the third best club in town, with the TD's clubs being the best, but if you are staying downtown, it is within walking distance of the major hotels. Well worth a visit.

Stopped by on a weekday afternoon. I don't know why I keep doing this, thinking things will be different. I guess I remember having some pretty fun times there in the middle of the day a few years ago- lots of hot girls and high energy. Instead it was the same dead environment as always- about 5 girls and not many more customers, dancers mostly unattractive. I did a meet a new chick ("Savannah") on her first day on the job. Somewhat cute brunette, pushed hard for private dances but I wasn't feeling it. Haven't been here at night in a long time so can't comment but definitely not much going on in the daytime.

Why bother? I can't see how this place even stays in business. They must count on getting the horny drunks that didn't hook up at the normal bars downtown on Friday and Saturday nights. Went in on a Sunday afternoon and the three women working there were basically dogs. Largely overweight and all had tons of stretch marks on their bellies. These girls have been rode hard and put away wet. No daytime cover charge and two drink minimum. Had a bottle of Fat Tire and snuck out the back door....