the ultimate strip club list

a guy's guide to strip clubs

July 9, 2008  •  Vol. 15, Issue 190

Poor excuse for a strip bar but as a straight bar it's fine. Above the entryway is a flashing neon sign which says "Entertainment Tonight". Two dancers when I visited, August 2, 2005.

I could give this place at least a "three" rating based on its ambience, and the cute young bartender. BUT I was unable to strike up a conversation with her in spite of my considerable efforts and my charming mannerisms. I could give it a "one rating" except that the dancers, in spite of their obvious limitations as strippers, were congenial, and were trying to do a good job. So, a "two" seems appropriate.

There was a nicely finished long bar, a couple of pool tables, and numerous dining tables. Light-snack food was available, and the beer was cheap -- $1.75 I believe. The dance stage was interesting: about 2 feet above the floor, 10 feet long, 4 feet wide, up against the wall, with a little wrought iron fence around the three exposed sides. Adorning the little fence were bright red little Christmas tree lights. On the wall behind the stage was a large sign saying, "NO-TOUCH LAW STRICTLY ENFORCED". I wouldn't particularly want to test this law, and following paragraphs will reveal why.

If you like really heavy dancers, both in their thirties (at least), both dressed in all black, by all means visit the Skylite. I estimate the first dancer weighed about 200 pounds. I would have asked her, but I was afraid (a) she'd consider my question offensive, and (b) she wouldn't tell me the truth anyway. She goes by the name of "Ice". When I first walked into the bar she was clothed in a spandex shift which mercifully concealed/compressed some of her generous mounds of fat. I was hoping she would leave it on. But predictably -- this being a strip club -- she stripped off the shift, and the sight before me became considerably worse. Pitiful A-cup tits on the top and billowing mounds of blubber in the midsection. GIVE ME A BREAK. She had a big black leather belt in her hand, and alternately slapped herself and the floor with it. Some kinda entertainment huh!

The second dancer called herself "Asia" and may have weighed 175 pounds (maybe more). She had a decent pair of Size D (maybe DD) jugs which jiggled nice. Like "Ice", her outfit was total black.

I saw about 25 people in the bar during my 30 minute stay. Single men, small groups of men, one middle aged woman sitting alone at the bar (?) and several male-female couples. Everybody seemed to be having a good time except for the middle aged woman, but everybody ignored both dancers when they were on stage. I was the ONLY person observed to give either dancer a tip at the stage. (?!?) Whicheve dancer was offstage mingled in with the couples sitting at one of the tables. I am guessing this is just a typical small-town bar which has trouble attracting good dancers.