the ultimate strip club list

a guy's guide to strip clubs

July 8, 2008  •  Vol. 15, Issue 189

Went here on a Saturday night 2 weeks ago while in the Phoenix area. Nice and welcoming atmosphere compared to other clubs. About 20 girls in the club, most of them 5-8, I would say. There was a lot of crowd too. After the $3 cover and checked by the guards found a comfortable place to crash & enjoy the show.

A couple of girls who spoke english stopped by & pushed for the private dance upstairs. One of the dancers was particularly nasty .. she did an air dance for $9, pushed for the $22 one upstairs and was rubbing me in with her sandals (not my taste).

Anyway, about 30 minutes later I asked a thin, latina 20 yr one for a lap dance and she was full of energy & gave me a very cozy and warm dance. Very much worth the money. My advice, wait a few minutes on the look out and you'll have a good time here.

I went in to Placers on a recent Thu night around 7pm. That's a bit early, but I wanted to cross the border and walk over in daylight. Anyway, a tout followed me over so he could collect his $1 fee. I walked in, no cover, and...no girls. But wait, the host assures me girls are there, so I sit down, and sure enought a slim brunette joins me. Her name is Sofia. She's about a 7 or 8, cute bottom, natural breasts, sweet disposition. We cuddle a bit, I buy her a drink for $12, we cuddle some more. Every once in a while, she encourages me to feel her up or she gives me a 20 second lap dance, just to make sure everything is still working (yup!). We do a private dance ($23), and it is quite nice. Lot's of touching allowed. She asks me if I want a blow job, I ask how much, she says $110, and I decline. I figure it is worth less. So we go back to the table and start the drink, cuddle, feel, privado thing all over again. After three full cycles of this, about 90 minutes has passed, and I bid her farewell. All told, a decent time with just one girl. As I am leaving, a few other guys have arrived. I think the evening has just begun.

For Nogales, Placers is a good middle ground between the higher-end clubs (Studio 69, Boleros, Lord Black) and the rougher joints (Cherries, Obsession, Ferni's TD). No matter what I'm in the mood for I'll always devote part of my agenda to Placers. Last visit was on a Thurdsay night, about 9pm. Seems like they had about 20 girls total. Ranged from 5-8/9, but of course that's to my personal taste (i.e. slender, pretty, young, brunette, not too slutty-looking). The 5's and 6's weren't ugly, just older or heavier or trashier than I like. I always threaten to walk when they try to charge Cover and they always relent so I never pay the $3 and you shouldn't either.

I took my typical ringside seat at the round dance floor facing the front door so I can see who comes in and keep an eye on the door to the girls dressing room to see what new talent emerges. It’s always interesting to see a chica walk in wearing her street-clothes and see her emerge later from the dressing room in her man-hunting getup. When the contrast is a pleasant surprise it somehow increases my desire for her. Can’t explain it, and don’t want to try.

A “host-guy” always approaches immediately. They are usually friendly and often speak decent English. Their job is to get you to buy booze and to spend $ on chicas. A waiter appears quickly and the host-guy gets your drink order going. About half the time at Placers you’ll get a 2-for-1 drink offer. If they don’t offer it, always ask for it. They’ll usually comply or give you a later time when the offer kicks in. Depending on how busy it is the host-guy will usually sit and talk for a while before he starts in on promoting specific chicas. “You like that one?” Unless they’re a stunner I usually say no. Having a chica spend 1-on-1 time on your lap is one of the great joys of Placers, but it’s also when you start spending cash. And since I believe in free market capitalism I like to reward the initiative of the chica who gets up off her ass and comes to make a play for being the one on my lap. They’re also usually willing to be very frisky for the price of a chica-drink, and I like that. The ones that have to be recruited tend to be less interested in my pleasure.

In general, the un-hungry chicas hang with each other playing pool or in the dressing area or in 2’s and 3’s at the small round tables that fill the floor, while the hungry ones will move right in as soon as you sit down. There always seem to be these two distinct types at Placers and I can never figure out why. I think I would appear as a ripe target (well-groomed, decent-looking m-a gringo in reasonably prosperous-looking clothes) to any money-hungry chica, but there are always some who won’t even make eye contact. If I try to discuss this socio-economically-interesting phenomenon with a host-guy his response always tends to be: “which one you want?”, which is not the point. I don’t speak Spanish so I can’t really get into it with anyone who might enlighten me. So I just leave it as the natural order of things and let Darwin do his thing.

The reason I like ringside seating is that with all but the least attractive chicas, I will tip them at the rail. I always wait until the chica drops her top, then I’m first in with the dollar bill. They always dance at least 1 full song with their top on, and sometimes 2 if it’s slow and they’re doing 3 song sets. Very few men tip at all at Placers, so I almost always get grateful attention with my propina. It’s also a great way to get a sense of how frisky they will be in my lap or later in a privado, because as they take my dollar I reach up and enjoy a handful squeeze of their breast. If they brush my hand away they have forever lost my interest. If they willingly let me fondle then I maintain them on my short- list. Occasionally one will surprise me with a more aggressive counter-move, sometimes pulling both my hands onto her breasts or burying a nipple in my mouth. Ladies and Gentlemen, we have ourselves a winner!

The wildest counter-move I’ve ever had happened on my last trip to Placers. A very fine-looking 9 was dancing quite energetically (as opposed to the ones who sloth around the pole like its drudgery). She was a slender brunette with a good face and a hot attitude. When she stripped out of her camouflage pattern top exposing her nice firm A-cups with tight dark nips, I quickly stood and leaned towards her with my dollar and my smile. She squatted in front of me, locked eye contact with me and snatched the bill. But before I could get my hand up to fondle her, she had grabbed my ¾-full beer and was vigorously shaking it over her head for the whole place to see. Then, bringing the bottle down to her crotch she uncorked her thumb from the neck of the bottle and noisily squirted the blasting jet of foam and brew right onto her snatch from about an inch away. Beer was flying everywhere as she rolled her head back in mock-ecstasy and the place went nuts. Returning direct eye contact with me she pulled the beer up to her face, swigged what was left and planted the empty back where she’d gotten it 10 amazing seconds before. I was blown away. She quickly stood and started dancing again like nothing special had happened and as the whooping and applause died down I sat back in my chair and thought: Man, you just never know.

She left for the dressing room and the waiters mopped up the residue from the dance floor for the next 2 songs. I was semi-drenched in beer and decided any follow up with her would be anti-climactic so I made my way out to the street and off to more Nogi-adventures.


Placers is the middle-of-the-road option for nasty fun in Nogi. Cherries and Ferni's are nastier. Boleros, Lord Black and Studio 69 are more upscale. Placers suits me just right. As usual, I blew right past the group of guys at the entrance and strode through the door. I never pay cover! Inside there were only about 10 patrons so I knew I’d attract attention as fresh meat. I sat at the rail and sure enough within about 10 seconds I had a slender babe all over me, pulling her bikini top aside and thrusting her nipple into my mouth. I had to come up for air to order a beer. Of course the waiter asked if I wanted a drink for the girl and even though I declined she stayed on my lap. She was VERY frisky and had her hands up inside my shorts legs and her nipple back in my mouth as soon as I finished ordering. I ended up buying her a Tequila ($11) and then doing a privado ($23). She was begging for me to spring for a blow job and dropped her price to $30. But the house still wanted $50 and I was watching my budget, so an $80 bj was not in the plan, although I’m sure she would’ve done a good job. The privado was high mileage and a lot of fun.

Back downstairs I sat at the rail again I enjoyed another beer and did my Tip-FondleBoobs-Kiss thing with about 6 more girls. All were very accommodating, including the famous Monserrat, who’s natural DD’s are a wonder to behold, and hold! For a buck at the rail she gives you unrestricted access with face and hands. Amazing!

Then 3 girls in a row didn’t take off their tops and I figured it was time to leave.