the ultimate strip club list

a guy's guide to strip clubs

July 9, 2008  •  Vol. 15, Issue 190

Me and some friends hit the King's Inn last week and needless to say, it was a quick visit. We all sat and had a beer and then had a mediocre dancer at best come and sit wit us and kind of hogged our time. Most of the dancers on shift that night were maybe 5-6's. There was one real hottie there but she stayed at a table with about five "thugs" and never left their company. Stayed about 40 minutes and we all left and went to the Foxy Lady SS. Much better time.

Used to have some nice memories of this place, one of my ATF lap dancers ever, but I think the place has gone downhill.

Visited recently - girls off more than a notch, although still friendly, and the place just feels like it's a parking lot fight waiting to happen. Too small inside, lousy stage... save your money and head to Cheater's in Providence.

Thinking with the wrong head leads to nothing but trouble, again.

Before starting my night out at the beginning of this weekend I had some time to kill and was in the area so I dropped by the Pigs Inn to see what was going on. As usual, most of the girls were average at best, with the better quality being the short-short and tank top clad shot/massage girls. After watching some sub-par dancers go through the same routine of getting naked and smashing their not-so-private areas against the wood fencing of the "pig-pen" area, I was already growing weary. I was a couple of beers deep when this crazy looking African ("I am from the Jungle" she said with some undistinguishable accent) looking girl approached me. She offered the $20 dance in the semi-private area so I thought it would be a good way to kill a few minutes until some of the better looking girls I thought I saw arriving got out to the stage area. Once in that room we sat and she said something to the effect of "you wan' fuck?", which surprised me, given the place we were in. She then offered to go the the champagne room, which I had never seen. I think more out of curiosity than anything else I asked for details, and she said it was $65 to the house for 30 minutes and any 3 drinks (beer, champagne, mixed, RB) + 100 for her. It seemed like a good enough deal to get my interest so I agreed. Somehow in the minute that it took to get there it went to 165 from 100, and then a tip for the "champagne server", who was just a bartender. The champagne room there is nothing close to private, with multiple couches, windows into the office, and to the main floor. I have no idea how I even rationalized what I was thinking, but alcohol can impair judgement, as can big naked boobies. She went on to tell me that "all of da girls `ere fook", and tried to do the deed with me. Without being to graphic there was a complete lack of success at the task, and I could not be more glad about this fact than I am. $255 + $10 (cover) + $12 (2 beers and tip) = reminder of why I stopped visiting this place. There are plent of F/S escorts that would have done much more, in a better setting, for the same $ or less.

Some lessons are best learned the hard way. Skip this place, really. If you want mileage, go to Cheaters in Providence, at least the booths are private, albeit a tad sticky at times.

Lots of girls (20-30) in the club. Age 21 – 30? Varied ethnic backgrounds. Most not bad looking (that many there has to be great eye candy for anyone. Very small dance area, more like a floor level blocked off walk way. Relatively small club. Couple of television’s, 1 pool table a “vip – champagne room” (couldn’t tell you about that). The dancers option as to take off the bottoms or not – most leave them on or partially remove. Cover charge increases as the night gets later. Lap Dances $25 (5 for the house). Lap dance area several couches, separate room but is all glass open to those coming in the entrance to the club and the people taking the cover charge and Id checking. You can’t touch, but she can touch you. Had a few with Gia – small breasts, very sexy, she really gets into pleasing you with the lap dance. She was completely “NO PRESSURE” . Because of her, I had a fantastic evening and will make it a point to stop in again. You will be swept by a metal detector prior to entering (I don’t think that is a bad idea either). Open until 2am.