the ultimate strip club list

October 7, 2008  •  Vol. 15, Issue 280

The menu here is about the size of a bookmark, which is odd considering it has grill in the name. Beers are $4 draft, and they have some imports on tap along with domestics. Full bar. Yes, I am typing this batch of reviews not having had any dinner yet so I have food on the brain. This is a pretty big club with two levels, but the second level is roped off and a couple of dancers commented they have never seen it open. Might have been 20 customers and about 6 girls.

Club has one main stage in the middle that is actually pretty small, but the girls walk around after their two dances on the bar itself to collect tips. Didn't see any knockouts but the girls were reasonably cute. Dancers were pretty interactive with the customers during their stage time which I did think was a nice touch. Good eye contact and give and take. Don't always see that with the runway type stages. There is a satellite stage in the rear left but couldn't tell you if they ever have a big enough crowd to fire it up. Wrap around bar but not rectangular, and the main stage had one pole and a what looked to be a weight bearing rod that some dancers also used during their set.

Two pool tables in two different spots, and this place does have a DJ. The DJ booth is on the second level, so apparently there is a way to get up there just not for customers. All girls were sitting and chatting up patrons when not dancing. Did not hide in back. Don't think they do laps here but didn't really have any interest. Didn't stay long and won't likely be back, but the place looks ok as a joint to shoot pool in and hang with the fellas. If you have a few extra minutes (about 15 or so) I would suggest you check out Excape up around White Marsh first if you're looking to stay out of downtown.

Place is still struggling. They finally took down the wall. Hasn't seemed to help much. Not many girls. Everyone seemed bored. Time seems to drag while sitting here. Had a beer and left. Not really worth a visit unless you happen to be in the area already. Someone needs to dump some serious cash into this place to bring it back up to par.

During my last visit, ordered a beer and it smelled like someone puked on the bottle. Somekind of syrup or sugar substance was spilled on the bottle at one point in time and was never cleaned off. Whatever it was spoiled and smelled very bad.

Lack of hot girls, run down club, poor atmosphere and smelly beer bottles. Not exactly a recipe for success.

I went on a Sunday night, which I know can be hit or miss for a club here in the Baltimore area. With Sunday night football I figured that the crowd might be okay and that there might be some talent on hand. I hadn't been to Kaos in a few years, so had not idea what to expect. It used to have a lot of hot college girls working there -- even though they didn't get totally naked, usually they had good personalities and were good to look at.

This time I walked in and the place was pretty dead. A few people playing pool, a bar and some tables. A bartender. I could here music coming through a wall, so I figured all of the action was on the other side. It was, but stil wasn't much. Maybe five customers, several at one table sitting with three dancers. One dancer on stage and a bartender. I have to admit...I got a lot of attention. The girls ranged in looks from 6-8, and all were fun. They hung out with me quite a bit, so I had a good time, but contact was basically non-existant. Hit it off with one of the dancers who said she bartends there during the week. She told me to come in and hang out with her.

Overall, not a bad experience, but I'm guessing that most of you would be looking for more. I still need to try a different night, but friends who went on a Tuesday gave me the same story. I'll try again based on the friendliness of the girls and the relaxed atmosphere.

My girl and I went to Kaos on Saturday night to meet another couple for drinks, We arrived around 9pm and the place was almost empty. By 10, there was a good crowd. Surprisingly, almost half the crowd were other m/f couples.
The girls were all young and very pretty. To a one, the staff were happy and gave really great service.
The bar itself looks a little run down inside, but I can tell you that a fun time was had by all.
Drink prices were very reasonable for a club.
Now, there was no lap dancing, but that was cool, no ruch or push for big tips. The girls were friendly, and more than willing to interact and socialize with the crowd between sets.

Will definately be back soon.

The layout here has changed but not much more. I havent been in over 2 years so here's the scoop. The bar area is all one large room now with a stage located behind a 'u' shaped bar. Girls dance down to pasties and thong for 2-3 songs. They then travel around the bar asking for tips. Place wasn't crowded so imagine they hit the floor/tables after that. No lappers or anything more than an eyecandy show. A home for girls that want to say that they're dancers but really don't want to get naked. Very lame waste of time, but hard to waste a lot of money here either.

What a disapointment. Although the past reviews were not great the club has not been reviewed in a while so I thought I would give it a shot. I showed up on a Thursday night to find on girl dancing (actually just kind of standing there swaying back and forth a bit) on a tiny stage. She was a 4 at best and barely awake at 9:30. There were two other dancers sitting at the end of the bar smoking while the 8-9 patrons were completely ignored. I stayed for a drink since I had no where else to go and it did not get any better. Forget this place.

Girls are mostly 5's. The drinks are reasonable. They dance 2 songs, first song they ask for tips from those at the stage, second song tips from everybody. Most of the girls have noticable stretch marks

Unless already in the area, this club is not worth a visit. The club is split into 2 sides. You walk in through the sports bar side. The drinks are normal bar prices, but BRING money with you cause the ATM charges a $7 fee!!! The women are barely average, small breasted, girl next door types. Not much going on in the lap dance department. If you are in the Baltimore area you are better off going to other clubs and saving your money.

Most of the old crew are gone and the new talent is worth checking out. Although this place is still only topless, the girls are all friendly and will sit and have a conversation or a drink with you. If you live or work in the northern burbs and don't feel like driving downtown this place isn't bad. Plenty of free parking.

This place ain't bad once you're a regular. girls will sit, chat & joke around with u. beers are only $2 yep, $2 during happy hour, which is something like when they open till 7pm. the girls won't hustle you unlike other places. A nice friendly neighborhood place in upity towson.

Stopped in Kaos to check out the scene and a grab a late afternoon beer. There were definately some attractive and friendly girls to see, but a little low on the action side of things. No lap dances to found here, no nudity, and just some girls dancing for dollars. This is more or a less a place to just hang out for a little while, grab a beer or two, and be on your way. For more action you need to travel to Baltimore. My highest recommendation for the area is the Manhattan Players Club, also known as the Wagon Wheel. You will find some great hands on lap dancing action there.

The dancers at this club are not bad looking but the selection in the past has been limited. Contact is
non-existent. Beer prices are not bad and a number of swingers tend to drop by on the weekends which
makes things interesting. Not a bad place to spend a Saturday night if you don't have too high of expectations.

this place just changed management and for the better. opens early on fri at 12 noon and at least 5 - 6 girls. 2 rate at "9" . other nights at 3:30pm and drafts are only $2 this is a great hangout being that it's in conservative towson.

There are some very nice girls at this club but the rotation is limited. It does not appear that many
new ladies are added to the rotation as the night goes on. Have not tried a lap dance but it appears
no real contact occurs. Saturday nights the club hosts a swingers night and the upper balcony is filled
with cpls. Many come down to watch the dancers but not much else happens.

This club truly is unique. There is no cover and the drinks are reasonably priced. The girls are cute, some are really good looking. The problem is there is really nothing going on here. The girls come on stage and dance and strip down to pasties and thong and then collect dollars from guys around the bar. There are no privates/lap dances/etc. If you want to talk to the girl and hear yet another 'hey I'm only doing this until I get my PhD' story than this is the bar for you. If you are on a budget and can only spend $20 bucks during the course of an evening than this is your place. I was bored to tears. I want something a little more entertaining than some girl (although pretty) dancing on stage.

One disclaimer before I start the review. The 8 rating is for a pastie club.

That said, Kaos has a rather unusual setup. There is a bar and grill in the front. Once inside, you walk through seperate doors to get to the stage and dance area. Now I am not from the Baltimore area, but I do travel there a couple times a year for a few days. The attitude of the dancers is very important to me. I mean, if they will only hang with the regulars or only say a quick thank you with plastic smile after getting a larger than average tip I usually make the place a one time shot no matter how great the bodies. This was my second visit to Kaos the first being back in mid January.

The dancers at Kaos have attitudes that rate 8.5-9 on a scale of 1-10. Brenda and April are two dancers in their early-mid thirties. Brenda rates about a 7.5 on looks (5'9", thin, shoulder length blonde hair). April is smokin! She is tall (5'8") blonde hair, big eyes, sexy as hell body and a killer smile. Gentlemen - she is all woman! The greatest thing about the both of them is that they are very approachable and will spend a great deal of time with you for the price of a one dollar tip and offer of a drink. There is absolutely no hustling going on in this club.

For those who prefer the younger ladies there is Lexi and Jett. Both are shorter (maybe 5'3)but both have baby doll looks and genuine hardbodies. I didn't have an opportunity to talk to Jett but Lexi was very friendly and had no problem killing time with me. Even when the bar filled up she would excuse herself to go speak to a regular but she would inevitably come back, sit down and resume the conversation.

Somewhere in the middle of the two groups was Taylor. She is mid 20s, tall, with a rather exotic look (gonna really turn some guys on and other guys off). She seems to be a wild child who is intent on hiding some real intelligence.

All in all I have to say, it was one of the better nights that I have spent in a dance bar. The drinks were reasonable, the club decor mediocre, and I didn't try the food. BUT, you gotta love the girls. This place reminds me of the clubs I used to go to 15-20 years ago where the dancers had personality and they genuinely wanted you to have FUN. Hell, I can find lookers anywhere but if all I want is to look I'll watch the Victorias Secret runway show on the internet.


When you are in Towson, this is your only option to viewing semi-clad women. Semi-clad? Yes, pasties and panties stay on. Are they attractive? Not really. The dancers all seemed to be carrying extra weight and the club's set-up is confusing to say the least. No cover, $4 beers, no laps. The best thing I can say is it is not a bad place to have a couple of beers but not a destination place of business.



Been comming here for a few weeks for lunch and the place has gone thru some changes. All the pretty dancers left. A few new dancers, below average in looks. Food isn't very good either. Hours just got cut back. Opens at 3pm now instead of 12 noon on Mon - Thur.

You first walk into the Kaos Grill, a regular bar open to everyone and go left around the bar thru the glass doors into the strip club, a bar within a bar. After the latest remodel, it was wasn't bad, nice sound system, lights, multiple stages. Girls wore pasties or had painted nipples. At least you get to see more of the girls, unlike before when it was a lingerie club but this is conservative Towson and not Baltimore. 4 dancers at lunchtime, 2 above average, 1 average and another that you wouldn't look twice at. Girls were friendly, giving the regulars hugs and at least comming around to say Hi or sometimes chat a bit even if you were new to the place. Drinks were average priced. Spent about 45 minutes at lunchtime and saw the entire lineup of girls.