the ultimate strip club list

a guy's guide to strip clubs

July 9, 2008  •  Vol. 15, Issue 190

The kind of place where dancers lay out hankies on the bar stools before they sit down. This is one of those reviews where I've got to give the place low marks because ratings are ratings, even if everyone else seemed to be enjoying themselves. Even the guy who was scowling (for a little while I thought at me) once his favorite showed up. She was a brunette number and reasonably cute, so she got a tip just or managing to make it out of the dressing room before I left. There were about five other dancers that were friendly but certainly not standouts. One was reading "How to Kill Your Boyfriend" in between chatting with her customer. Hard to find fault with a gal who chooses to read, so make your own joke there.

The decorating scheme was hard to pick out, but with the dim light and 70's era wood paneling it had a distinctly basement feel to it (especially with the windows visible but covered with fabric). Bar was surfaced with reddish kitchen floor tiles. Jukebox, no DJ and vintage game machines over in the near right corner. I believe the LD room was off to the right of the jukebox. Nobody got anywhere near it while I was there. There was one of the most interesting signs I've seen, though, declaring that neither the customer nor the dancer is to touch the other during a dance. Not sure if that's in the San Diego way (air dances should be outlawed in Baltimore) or just an extended typo. Either way it was the most entertaining thing about the club while I quickly finished my beer and tipped a dancer or two after their set. Full nude. Mixed crowd and dancer (4 black, 1 latino, 2 white) ethnicities.

There are dives--and I like a good dive as much as the next guy--and then there is Tony's place. GGC and Players Club are literally right around the corner, so there is absolutely no reason for anyone who doesn't live around the neighborhood to visit. Like I said, the ten or so customers in there weren't complaining but 99.9% of people reading this would. If you really, really want to shoot pool (this spot has two tables that may be no fee) then the Crazy Russian is another half mile up Rt. 40 and equipped with a table and TVs. This is a place you can skip.

Went on a Saturday night. They open at 7:00 pm. Beer is cheap, but I don't remember how much. Much less costly than the block. Drinks for dancers are $10. I bought one and got nothing in return except about 2 minutes of conversation before she got up on stage to dance. Only 3 dancers at about 8:00 when I left. Two were black, one was white. Asked the white dancer about dances--they have couch dances for $30 but I didn't try one because it didn't sound like it would be worth it. Anyone have any experience with the dances here? Of course it always depends on the dancer!