the ultimate strip club list

a guy's guide to strip clubs

July 8, 2008  •  Vol. 15, Issue 189

I realize in my last review that I didn't describe the place. Smallist bar on the front wall, as you enter. Stage in the center of a long, rectangular room, with chairs around it. I think there was a smaller stage near the back, but it wasn't crowded when I was there and most people were in the front half of the room. Couch dance rooms on the right as you face from the street. Cubicles with a fair amount of privacy, no doors, you can see into some cubicles as you walk by, but some are more protected than others. Again, I didn't get any action that required privacy, but it's still nicer than one big room.

Private rooms are on the second floor. There's an elevator to take you up, and a guy who's in charge of taking you up, showing you around (I was offered a tour when I first came in, and it's worthwhile doing that even if you don't intend to buy; I did that and ended my night up there), real nice. Also a small bar with a bartender. Different rooms are different prices, including the girl it starts at around $400 per hour and goes up to about $4,000. 10% more with a credit card. One room has a big screen TV, when asked why pay 1.5 grand an hour to watch TV, was told it was rented out one time for 3 hours by computer geeks who played video games while half naked chicks came in and out. One had a round bed, one looked like a teenage girls' bedroom. Weird, maybe fun if you're into roleplaying (I'm not). Also, they had a VIP lounge with a balcony onto bourboun street, which they open up when it's crowded but I was told they could open it if I wanted. I guess a lot of business people pay for champaign and hang out there with customers, for some privacy and without the need to get a private room.

Only had time for a short vacation, so I went to New Orleans for a couple of days. My experience at this club was great, no complaints. Burbon Street is just bizarre: I've never seen so many strip clubs in a few blocks, quite open about what they are, with dancers standing on the street encouraging customers to come in. It's true that these aren't fronts for brothels, at least not the club I went to, unlike SF which is the only other place that was similar. I was there on a weekend night, but when I arrived there were more dancers than customers, and it stayed that way most of the night. All the dancers were friendly and polite, none asked me to buy them a drink, I got a steady stream asking me if I wanted to dance and said yes to all, except one dancer with a nice body but below average face. I had three dances with her early in the night, but said no the second time around. $30 per dance, which were long, this encouraged me to take two in a row or 3 for $100. Yeah that's tipping on the 3 but I figure don't go to a strip club if you aren't willing to spend some money, and I think it's more fun if I'm not always trying to save a buck. Dancers relax if they realize you aren't a jerk and aren't trying to stiff them, and you have more fun as a result. Decent grind but nothing great, some put my hands on their breasts, most allowed touching around the middle. So it's a fair amount of money for not a lot of action, but if you want to watch and hang with pretty (not movie star looks, but all decent to pretty, nothing unpleasant) natural ladies, this is a nice place to spend an evening. Since it was quiet, some dancers would come and sit with (or on!) me later in the evening, after 2-3 songs in the couch dance room, not expecting anything in return.

Visited here during a recent afternoon in New Orleans. Not much happening, a few cute girls, no real hustle. It was 2-for-1 drink special time, always a bonus since it means you get your beer (love that local Abita brew) for the price it should be all along. Everyone seemed friendly enough, and I would hope to be able to return at a busier time (though I wrongly assumed that clubs in NO would be busy at all times they are open). I would need to return to offer a more thorough review, but things looked fairly positive as far as I could tell.




The tale of the seventeen dollar drink. Yes, $17. I drop in here, time to time, because the line-up of girls is generally young, skinny, unenhanced looking -- these are the visual body types I prefer. But they're just SO money-grubbing it's annoying. Last time I was in, a girl instantly plopped in the seat next to me and demanded that I buy her a drink. I guess I was feeling like a sucker, so I let her and the waitress know that I'd be happy to spend up to $10 for a drink. The girl orders, the waitress says, "Is that ok?" and I didn't think anything of it since I'd been pretty clear. Waitress comes back and says that the total is $26. Mine was $9, the dancers was $17. I said that this was not less than $10, and by the way, $17 is unreasonable for any drink. Here's their excuses: 1. she ordered a call brand of vodka, not the bar brand; 2. it's a two-alcohol drink so it costs me for 2 shots; 3. it's happy hour so it has to be a 2-for-1 drink, by which they mean they charge you for two shots in any one drink; 4. I gave the "OK" verbally.

Bull dookie. I left. Cheating bastards. This is the second time in as many visits that the wait staff has flat-out lied about drink prices in the hopes of stealing money. I recommend you visit across the street or down the street -- plenty of other clubs nearby. This one used to be on top of the bullshoot that the girls pull, but evidently the girls and waitresses have gotten the better of a manager or two. Maybe they're giving a few extra services to the DJ so they can get away with this type of behavior.