the ultimate strip club list

a guy's guide to strip clubs

July 9, 2008  •  Vol. 15, Issue 190

It's been three months since my last review so I guess its ok to do another one now. Especially since I bring some good news for y'all.

One reminder before proceeding: as I have said before, this is NOT a strip club - it is a bikini bar. The girls seldom take off any clothing while they are on stage. The rare exception would be a blouse with a bra underneath, or an outer skirt skirt with panties and thong (double-bottoms, I call em) underneath. So nothing special would be revealed by the removal. Most of the girls do their entire set in the same clothing they wear while sitting at the bar visiting with customers.

In recent weeks, I haven't paid any cover charges. I think they collect a $3 cover only when(IF) it gets busy, and their sign outside says "no cover before 8 pm." A beer is $1.50 from 5 to 7, and then it goes up to $3. Same price for draft or bottle. Mixed drinks are $4 to $6 depending on ingredients.

After an EXTREMELY happy experience here on June 12, I decided to avoid ALL porn, all SC visits, and even all logging on to TUSCL for one full week. Why? Partly for relief (I was on sensory overload when I left), but mainly because I wanted to savor the experience fully -- after being made so happy by one particular, I wanted to reflect on it fully over the period of a few days, without my memory being affected by erotic stimulation. After one week, I was anxious to go back, and again was extremely pleased with the experience. And back a second night in a row on June 20. Even more pleased.

In general this is a very low-mileage club. The girls vary in their attractiveness. Both Roxy and Harmony are very pretty, and Roxy has a perfect pair of jugs. But as near as I can tell they are both Duds in the Erotic department. Natalie is a DOLL - sweet personality and a gorgeous body. This place has A LOT of turnover. New girls show up constantly. Some last only a few days -- in one case last week, only ONE day. Last night (June 20) I had an unforgettable experience with a girl who had not worked there very long. We did some stuff in the private area that other girls had previously told me were ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE because of the cameras, and Management's strict policies: "Oh I would get fired for sure if I did THAT". Well, this girl saw things quite differently. It was a VHM experience, fer shur. When I asked her if she was worried about getting fired if she got caught, she just laughed. She said, "they won't fire me - they need even more girls." Very refreshing attitude. We did only one dance, but I paid her for two (ie, $20 tip), and asked her to come sit with me after she had settled up with the manager. There weren't very many customers in the club, and she told me that even if there had been, she wasn't in the mood to troll for dances (LUCKY ME). We talked for about a half hour, about everything under the sun, and then I left, a very happy camper. I think I am in love.

Would I go back? You betcha. But YMMV. The normal behavior of girls in this club is quite different from what I experienced last night.

St Paddies Day and not a whole lot going on in Ames Iowa. Dangerous Curves is even slower than usual, especially for a "Holiday" but remembering it is also a Monday, nothing out of the ordinary. This place is nothing special, for sure, since it is a bikini bar where the girls never take off their clothes. They will give a good lap dance at the stage, for a dollar or two. They can be pretty seductive too. Only trouble is, there doesn't seem to be any reason to buy the $20 VIP dances, cuz nothing at all happens in the VIP that doesn't happen at the stage. So why go to VIP? Well I didn't, but if you want a cute young girl all to yourself for 4 minutes, it might be worth the Twenty, who is to say?

The three girls tonight were Shy, Nicole, and Harmony. All are lovely slim and friendly. All will give you a nice lap dance. All are regular white 6-8 rated Girl-Next-Door types. Woops I guess Nicole isn't a Girl Next Door any more because she went out and got herself a $7,000 boob job. Wonder if it is worth it. Harmony is extremely pretty, and a little younger and skiinnier than the other two.

Usually there will be five or six girls at Dangerous Curves. The three that were there tonight were well above the average quality girl.

It's an average place, so I guess I'll give it an average score. If you want some excitement, try Des Moines. It is only 35 minutes to Outer Limits, which is Topless.

I've written some longer reviews than this one, but I had to tell you that the gradual decline of Dangerous Curves is still in operation. The crowds are pathetically small and (several of)the girls are pathetically large. Several fine young ladies learned the biz at this place, and then migrated to other strip clubs which still permit customers to have fun. The management of Dangerous Curves has so intimidated the girls that only naive newcomers (not people who read this List)could possibly have a good time. Dangerous Curves is pathetically poorer than any club in Cedar Rapids, Des Moines, Fort Dodge, or Carroll. I stop by once in a while just to have a beer but I have completely given up on the girls except for G-rated stupid conversation. By the way, DC has a highly sophisticated closed circuit video camera system. They can see you when you are out on the sidewalk, when you're sipping a beer at the bar, and at least a half dozen other places including of course the VIP. They can't necessarily spot you putting your hand under a girl's thigh but if the MGR is watching the video when you do it, he might guess. And then you might get an unexpected visit from a bouncer. But it is highly unlikely the girl will let you put your hand under her thigh anyway: club rule says you may not touch the bikini bottom and the girls are so brainwashed they enforce the rule.

My visit last week was good but not as good as my last couple. I still ended up having a couple of great dances with a black dancer that made sure I left with a smile on my face. She also hinted that she might be willing to meet after closing time but I didn't check that out.

I would like to see a better variety of dancers but for Ames, Iowa it's not bad. For no further than it is to drive the half hour to Des Moines it might be worth the trip there is always more excitement at a couple of the clubs in Des Moines.