the ultimate strip club list

a guy's guide to strip clubs

July 9, 2008  •  Vol. 15, Issue 190

This is where you want to go for the most consistently hot girls in Guatemala. Most are imported in from Nicarauga, Honduras, and El Salvador, and there is always top quality talent available.

First, the negative: The waiters will drive you crazy forcing you to buy a drink every 25 minutes, and trying to get you to buy incredibly overpriced chica drinks. I once was banned from the place for two weeks because I had only bought one bought a couple beers, a chica drink, and sex, for a total outlay of around US$100. They thought I was a cheapskate.

I had to bribe the doorman and promise to buy more drinks before they would let me back inside. Seriously.

Tip: Ask for Salvador to be your waiter, a friendly old guy who doesn't push the drinks too hard and will help you find the chica of your dreams.

You need the help, too. The club has a definite "A Team" of girls who rotate on stage, two at a time, and occasionally come out en mass for a floor show where they all dance on the table tops. It may sound kind of hokey, but it really pretty cool to watch.

After the table top dancing they even have a raffle for something pretty nice, such as a TV or stereo. You get one entry for each drink you bought.

Most of the A Team girls spend the rest of the time hidden out in back. So if you see one you like, and you'll see many, be sure to ask Salvador (or whoever your waiter is) for her name and send him in back to lead her by the hand out to your table for introductions.

Also there are the "B Team" girls, who mostly sit or stand along the wall hoping to make eye contact and get you to buy them a drink. Some are also very hot, as the A team girls who skip a night's work can be busted back to the B Team for awhile. Then again, some others are not so hot.

Upstairs there are several rooms for full service at a non-negotiable set rate of 600 quetzales per half hour. Be sure to ask for the penthouse on the third floor, which was always available.

Now they say you only get 30 minutes with the girl, but that is Latina time, so not really. The best thing you can do is tip 10 Q to the old woman who cleans up after you BEFORE you go into the room, while whispering in her ear "Un poco mas tiempo, por favor." (A little more time, please.) Once I started doing that I never got another knock on the door and would be able to session for an hour or two.

The funny thing is that with all these hot chicas and rooms for full service, the place doesn't really even see this as a profit stream. I never saw anyone but myself or the friends I brought actually purchase "servicio" (sex). I was always the only one whenever I went upstairs.

In fact, you will see the locals come in for one drink, and maybe buy a chica drink. They eyeball and fondle a girl for a little bit at the table and then leave. I don't think they can really pay these kind of prices for sex, so they just come in to get titillated and then go home to jack off or screw their wives.

If this place would come up with some sort of dollar menu, such as having the "B team" girls give the local guys a 5 minute blow job for 10 Q, this place would be off the charts!

Now don't be fooled if you show up and the lights are out. They turn off the sign outside at 2 AM to satisfy the neighbors, but be assured that on the inside they are in full swing until 5 AM. So don't be shy, just head on in.

Dodger Bulldog says "Check It Out."

Le Club reminds me of a 50's style art deco thing. You walk into a large open area with balconies all along the walls. dozens of women are walking around checking you out as you check them out. On the main floor are a couple stages with poles, but this place is about the lap dances and the drinks for the girls. If you really like them, you can take'em back for some full out action. Expect to pay 60 to 80 for the backroom action USD.