the ultimate strip club list

July 19, 2008  •  Vol. 15, Issue 200

Small club, but with a very easy going atmosphere. I've been in it many times. It's full nude, full friction, full liquor. During busy nights it's packed with girls (as many as 20-30 on a friday night) and customers maybe 100 at most. It's got plenty of food on the menu and I've yet to have anything I wouldn't order again. It's a smaller club, but it's the nicest one in South Miami with regards to girls, cleanliness, prices and comfort. Lots of Big screens for sports and whatnot. It's kind of split into 2 separate areas... the main stage area is open all the time and is the typical darkened area with neon lights you'd find in any run of the mill strip club complete with curtained-off lap dance areas and an even more private champagne room behind that with floor-to-ceiling black curtains for privacy. The second area called "The Sky Lounge" or something is a bit brighter with plus leather seats and more of a lounge with 2 small stages. Generally, the clientele is middle class and blue collar local guys from Homestead, Florida City and Perrine. Guys keep to themselves for the most part, and only on Friday and Saturday does the thug factor starter to ratchet up. It gets pretty ghetto fabulous after midnight on those two nights.

As for the service... the day bartenders can sometimes be hard to get the attention of, and the cocktail girls aren't always around. But nighttimes it's easier. They are all friendly, especially the hostess Sara. I drink beer so I can't speak to the drink stiffness. Again, the cook and the food are great! All but one of the DJs are good. There is one heavy-set white dude who is real annoying, always playing crap music and talking over it trying to crack funny with the dancer on stage.

Now the girls: On a weekday after noon there are maybe 7-10 girls. Traffic is pretty thin, so it's real easy to hang out with them. Usually splits up 1-2 fuglies, 2-3 not bad/little old and saggy, 3-4 cute, 1-2 hot! Some butter-faces. But in general, the girls are all sweet and friendly. Hustle factor is pretty low, and though there are a couple girls who will full-court press you, most are perfectly fine sitting and chatting even if you don't get a lap dance, provided you do tip them for their stage dances. They have fresh-faced girls that seem just out of high school, and the occasional 40-something mamasita, and everything in between. Only a few (20%) white girls, and they can occasionally seem like they are straight out of the trailer park. LOTS of latinas, but maybe only half of which speak enough english to talk with for any length of time. And a decent number of black girls, some of whom are kinda run down, but there are also some 20-something sistas that have absolutely unbelievable bodies and booties.

On friday/saturday nights, things get a bit different. There are a LOT more girls, some of which are unbelievably gorgeous. Unfortunately, they are much harder to track down as they've almost always got some dude they are sitting with almost the whole night. Especially the latin girls as many of them don't speak a word of english (they are usually the hottest of course), and they will only hang with spanish-speaking guys on these busy nights. Also, as I said before, it gets pretty ghetto on Friday/Saturday, especially after midnight. I've never had a problem with anyone here, but I'm a guy that prefers smaller crowds that look more like me: middle class 30-something white dude. I get a little nervous when 10 man entourages show up in head-to-toe FUBU clothing with dreadlocks and heavy chains. Late nights (2am-6am)can get kinda crazy too, but it's a good crazy!

Lap dances mostly depend on the girl, but most of the girls here are real heavy on the friction and their hands like wander, especially if you're nice to them. Some of them will grab your junk right at the bar before you even get to the couch. Also depending on the girl, just about ANYTHING can happen in the champagne rooms, which is $100 to the house and then they've quoted me anywhere from $150-600 to the girl depending on what you are looking for and how much she trusts you and how much she is willing to do (and likely how much she thinks you can afford). Don't expect to go around the world on your first visit to the club, but it just might happen.

Rankings:
VIP feel: 4 (it's not Scores or one of those mega-clubs by any means)
Girls' Looks: 7
Girls' attitudes: 7.5
Cleanliness: 7
Music: 6 (a little to heavy on the spanish rap and rap in general)
Bar: 8
atmosphere: 8 (but a 6 on friday/saturday nights)
Lap Dances: 8 (not a 9/10 only because they are $25 each)
Champagne Room: 8 (would be a 10 if not for the $100 to the house, and the potential to find some odd things squeezed into the sofa cushions that you wouldnt want to touch... EVER.)
Naughtiness potential: 8 (only the run down dives like the Booby Trap and Playgirls' South can get nastier... but then you also have to deal with sketchy girls and the grime factor there)

This Club is fantastic. I stopped here on Friday with some of my girlfriends, WE HAD A BLAST!!! The girls were pretty- ALL OF THEM!!! And there wasn't an overweight girl in the bunch- day or night shift- and we saw them all!!! The food was great too, usually we don't order food when we are out drinking, but we saw another group of people with some great smelling food. The Churasco was tender, and the wings were perfect. The lighting here was awesome- not too dark- not too bright. I have to say that the bartender in the daytime- Nonny was a good sport and the skinny waitress made sure our table was taken care of constantly. The night staff was just as friendly, and at shift change alot of the day people came to say goodbye to us. I personally have never seen such a friendly club in all of Miami. And check this out- you could actually understand the dj's. The only thing I can think of to say that is a con- was the music-- too much reggeton. There was plenty of Rock played, but the amount of reggeton was just nerve wracking at times. My girlfriends and I go out every friday and we can't wait to hit this place again, now only if we could understand the music!!!

I visited this club a few days before Super Bowl XLI on my way home from another club. Boy, am I glad I did!!! First, I arrived just in time to participate in a 2-4-1 lap dance special from a lovely latina named Monica. The amount of contact between both of us was intense and mutual. The highlight of the night came when a dancer named Desire did her stage show. She proceeded to pull out a 9 foot length string of beads from her pussy!!! I definitely had to tip her quite a few $$ for that act because I have never seen that before. Will definitely visit again and perhaps visit the VIP room...

Just got back from a short business trip to South Miami. Visited several clubs in the area, none of them great but Show girls was the best of them. Daytime girls were primarily S American, several said they were Columbian. Night shift girls were a mix of African American and Hispanic with a couple of Russian? girls. Day time girls were better looking but lower mileage. Got great mileage from dancer named Star. Club itself is a little rundown, lots of bouncers roaming around. Friday night ran 2-4-1 dance specials. lapdances were topless, some girls allowed roaming hands, some didn't. Lots of grinding As always YMMV.