the ultimate strip club list

July 19, 2008  •  Vol. 15, Issue 200

Angels, on W.Dixie Hwy, in North Miami is one of the better clubs around. All of the girls that I have met have friendly attitudes. The bar wraps around the stage, and the bartender serves the customers from the space between the stage and the surrounding bar. Sometimes the bartender goes off to attend to her other duties, but all of the girls that work bar there are helpful. Most people are getting ther lapdances while sitting on barstools. They are pretty good dances, compared to most Miami clubs. Cost is $5 each dance. They also have a nearby second stage, and there are comfortable chairs where the girls will also give dances - they might be $10 if the do the friction dance. Nothing is hidden, so the girls tend to keep their dances clean. Also, a pool table and there usually is a friendly game going on. Also, there are a few flatscreen TVs mounted up high, and if there is a sports event like a Dolphins game, they will have it on.

Parking is usually limited, so right next door, there is a latin food restaurant who will charge $5, and it is definitely worth the money. Usually the doorman will frisk all customers, and sometimes there is a cover charge, maybe $10. Good club, and good folks.

I was at the club from about 9 PM to Midnight on Wednesday. There was NO parking and I had to park in the street. I believe parking right in front of the building is $10, well it is at least $10. The cover for me was $5, but that is because security recognized me as a VIP. The door man was going to charge me $10.

No blubber blobs tonight! :) My experience was PHENOMINAL. For some reason today was a special day. There were at least 40 dancers and even more just gave up because dancers were out numbering customers by better than 2 to 1. This normally a club were ALL the dancers are Black. It was a minor miracle: In over 10 years I haven't seen a white girl at Angels and tonight it appeared there were 2! Actually, I did see a few super hot white lesbians (in the past), but they were just buying dances. There was also an asian who was tiny and smoking hot. At least 25% of the dancers were 9 or better. The other 75% was between 6 and 8. I didn't see any ugly dancers which is remarkable.

I get lap dances with heavy two-way contact for $5 and they're called table dances. With all the competition, and it was brutal, for customers everyone that was buying $5 table dances was getting laps. If you are very generous or just want to throw your money away you could buy $10 laps.

If you're a tourist, then probably Tootsie's is more your speed. Tootsie's is actually closer to my home, but it is just not what I want in a strip club. It is too upscale. Angels is what a strip club should be all about. O, the new furniture looked a 100 years old already. Yes, there is that much action at Angels.

One other important point: Although this is a white friendly club, I was the ONLY white customer.


This is a very friendly club that seems about as ghetto as you can get except that prices are a little high in two areas. A minimum $10 charge for parking in front of the club at night. I only learned about this after taking the penultimate parking place available and this was on a Monday night, which should have been a slow night. The cover was also $10, but does increase as demand to get into the club increases . . . . . . . . . . . . . The color of the dancers ranges from light brown almost white to deep dark blacker than black, but that isn't important to me. The size ranges from skinniest crack whore to elephant woman, but that isn't important to me. Plenty of tattoos, gold teeth, piercings all over, and scars, but that isn't important to me. What is important? Cheap woman meat with a wonderful smile. :) I feel like a total VIP each time I visit this club and the costs other than the two previously mentioned are cheap. Yes, the decor even after being replaced needs to be replaced again after the first week, but that isn't important to me and I just don't have much in common with the GCC who is interested in furniture or cleanliness. Angels ranking: Contact is best in Florida. Price is best in Florida. Friendly dancers is best in Florida. Lack of cleanliness is best in Florida. Number of XXX larger than life dancers is best in Florida. Number of tooth pick type crack whore dancers is best in Florida. I know people have different tastes as far as women and what makes a perfect strip club, but Angels is the perfect strip club bar none.

The club is small, dirty, loud, with a hell of a parking problem. The cover is $10 or more at night and night or day you get a free body frisk. The quality and quantity of dancers ranges from 0 to 10 and from 0 to 10, respectively. Translation: There might be 2 dancers or 40+ dancers, remember it is a small club, without any rhyme or reason. The dancers can be young tenders or old waterbuffalo. All dancers are black which I consider a positive.

Two-way contact dances are $5 if you're white and less if you're black and a cheapskate. About 6 months ago 2 very upscale private VIP rooms were added. They look beautiful with large flat screen TVs and plush couches. I've never seen a customer pay for one of these suites---use yes--pay no. Besides most customers prefer the nasty tiny hidden "VIP" room. The fun is the dancer, not the damn room!

The reason this club warrants a 10 is because of ALL the clubs in the South Florida area this club is where I have the most fun!


At night the regular parking in front of the club is often completely filled. If you are lucky enough to snag an empty parking place expect to pay $10 just to park! Sometimes parking is available on the side of the building, but be careful since most of that is for the tiny restaurant next door and TOW signs are posted.

I park in the right of way by the convenience store, which isn't always safe because of unfriendly stray dogs.