the ultimate strip club list

a guy's guide to strip clubs

July 9, 2008  •  Vol. 15, Issue 190

I had a little trouble finding this place as my gps routed me to the other side of the freeway. Pulling into the small parking lot was discouraging. There were signs advertising two businesses, but the building was so small I couldn't see how it was possible.

When I went to the door located in the back of the building I found out it was a poker place known as the Sundowner Card Room. I was told there were no girls there yet and the cover was $20 plus a two drink minimum. After only a brief glance at the cramped dingy place, I thought better of my little adventure.

Maybe I'm a pussy, but sometimes ya have to listen to your gut. Hopefully my next trip, and TUSCL, will lead me to a better strip club.

This place just reeks of promise, but never delivered during my visit. On a Thursday, around 9 pm, the place looked to be rocking, with a bunch of cars in the small lot. On entry, I wondered what had happened, as there were three customers inside. Along with the doorman/bouncer, the bartender, and the two... count 'em two... dancers, there were a total of seven people in the whole place.

I have no problem shelling out $15 for an all-nude club, but I'd like to see 5-6 dancers at the very least. The two working this night each did a two song set, pulling aside the bikini top to expose some nipple in the first, working up to losing the G for the second.

The whole place had a very "alt" feel, with the bartender dressed like some European priest. One dancer was very goth, down to the black lipstick and boots, while the other had a more "generic punk" look. Both were cute, but petite. Both were B cups, with squeezable little butts. I really regretted missing out on the C's and D's other reviews mentioned. Not that I wouldn't have done either one if the opportunity presented itself, but I would have preferred a bit more flesh to oggle.

I nursed two of the $2 Cokes while watching each dancer work the pole three times. They were very impressive with their dancing, with one managing an amazing move where she locked both heels onto the pole to do a full horizontal split with her body at a right angle to the pole. Considering the move was done after the full strip, it allowed a very nice view of her goods. However, as technical as the dancers were, they completely lacked any sense of eroticism. It was all very straightforward, "Here's my titties, here's my coochie, have a look and give me some money." It was all about as non-sexual as you can get.

When the girls were not on stage, the either disappeared in back or sat at the bar talking with the male employees. Even a bit later, when a few more customers walked in, they never spoke with them, onstage or off, and I never saw either approach anyone for a private dance.

After an hour or so, things all started to look the same, and I decided it was time to roll. I asked the bartender why there weren't more dancers, and he said they were having a lot of problems that night. Two girls were out sick, one quit, and there was supposedly one in back who couldn't dance til someone from her apartment brought the ID she'd fogotten (her first night). So I drove off, found a little honky tonk saloon doing redneck karoke, and hung out with a couple MILFs that were fully clothed, but one hell of a lot hotter than anything in the club.

More dancers, preferably with a little variety, and some effort at being erotic, would go a long way toward improving this place.


I have nothing bad to say about this place. It was $15 to get in and $2 for a drink. From what I saw there seemed to be several good dancers who are very friendly and aren't constantly asking if you'd like a dance. I'd certainly go again!!

It was a waste of $15 to walk through the door. I used to come to this club to see a dancer named Toni, but I found out the other night she now works in a club in fresno. I was not impressed with any of the girls there. The loudest one, I can't remember her name, was in need of braces, a tummy-tuck, breast lift, and implants. She was terrible to look at, but an alright dancer. Actually, she had the best stage performance there. Then there was a beautiful black girl with the worst attitude I have ever seen on a stripper. She made me feel as though I owed her something and that everyone in there, including me, was beneath her. Because she was the best looking and I paid money to get in this club, I tried her out for a lapdance. Never again. The worst part was, since it is a juice bar, I couldn't even get drunk to better enjoy my time. I think I will be driving up to fresno next time.