the ultimate strip club list

a guy's guide to strip clubs

July 8, 2008  •  Vol. 15, Issue 189

The club is recognizable to some as the same place where Dancing at the Blue Igauna was filmed. The exterior is decently lit and parking is completely easy. After paying the cover, went inside to the standard setup - a large stage with a pole in the middle of the stage took up quite a bit of the main room. Wasn't able to quickly determine where lap dances, etc... were given, but after sitting down, was able to spot the semi-private area for the dances. Dancers were of moderate to high, but were nowhere near unbelievable. Good enough for a one-night stand without regret but not something you would go bragging about.

Got hit up quickly for the minimum drink purchase and was able to pass off a "check back with me in a minute, I just got here" and bought some time. So much so that I didn't have to purchase anything. The dancers were not really that interesting or interested in the patrons - more just dancing because that's what they did. Not a huge crowd, despite it being a decent night for laying loose. About the fourth dancer up I had spotted in the crowd talking with a customer. This girl was the exception to the medium to hot rule. She was simply hot. When she finished, I asked the bartender to arrange an introduction. By this time I had also seen a couple of customers go behind me into another area.

The dancer is a hot, little Latina with an absolutely awesome body. Small handful of breasts, tight ass - beautiful long hair. She introduced herself and I told her how pretty she was. She asked if I wanted to go private - how much? $20 per song - told her deal. Went back to the back for a private room. Sat on a bench with walls to the left and right. Above the walls were sheer black curtains where the guards could easily look through to see if there was trouble, but some privacy was afforded. The guard walked by a couple of times to check the room while we were in there.

I paid for four dances in advance, but she immediately got my attention and I was saluting through my jeans. Noticing this, she blew hot air through my jeans and rubbed it with her hands until she turned her back to me and sat right ontop of my jeans. She started to grind away - unbelievably hot. Midway through the third song, I had too much and exploded in the jeans. She could tell and looked at me with pride and said "I think we're done?" I said yes and told her to keep the change for the fourth song. If I had an extra $20, she would have gotten it. I was completely not expecting to climax and had never before and haven't since. You just have to find the right one, but there is at least one "right one" at this club.

Based on reviews that I had read I was excited to try the "Volleyball" club. Actually, I never really got the name. I expected to have some sort of sports theme, but I never really saw it. My guess is this club used to be very good and now it is just OK. I am not sure of the logic of paying the bartender for dances instead of the dancer. Maybe the dancers got out of control overcharging. Dances are $40, but there seems to be lots of 2 for 1 with shorter songs. I was there from about 8-9:30. The place was mostly dead. The back stage area was empty and a little scary. I was there on a Wednesday and the dancers tended to be on the older side (30+). I expected it to get better the longer I stayed, but it never really did. Maybe another night of the week it would be better.

This club I went on a recommendation. Wow! This is the sister club to Bare Elegance and so it was just as amazing. The layout is Vegas style and they serve food! The dancers were very nice. The dance quality was spectacular. The lighting was great. It's so nice being able to clearly see the girls dancing on stage. I had a great time and do recommend this.

Two visits to Valley Ball and 4Play on weekend nights resulted in vastly different impressions (see the 4Play section for the other review). I decided to give VB another try after a long absence. Even with the free-admission-anytime coupon in the LA Weekly, the place was deserted at prime time. It was a disappointing experience. Boring stage show, overpriced laps, short-cut songs, and endless gimmicks.

Even simple things they couldn't get right. During the lady's choice parade to sell laps, the genius DJ turned off the stage lights so you could barely recognize who the heck was parading. I fail to see the point.

For a club with a nice layout and a reasonable lineup, the energy level was as low as it can get. They seem determined to fail as a club in spite of their tradition and potential. VB is off my list for the foreseeable future (except for their semi-annual VIP parties). The club reminds me nowadays of Star Strip during its long decline. Some of the better girls have left to other clubs, most recently Alexis going to the Jet Strip.

THE FUNDAMENTALS
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Dancer Looks: 7.5 (top three girls) , 6.5 (overall average)

Stage Mileage: 3.0 (lighting) , 6.0 (nudity)

Lap Mileage: 6.5

Song Length: 2:55 (regular) , 2:15 (specials)

Lap Cost: $45+tip (nude) , $30+tip (topless) , $20+tip (bikini)