the ultimate strip club list

October 11, 2008  •  Vol. 15, Issue 284

The club is recognizable to some as the same place where Dancing at the Blue Igauna was filmed. The exterior is decently lit and parking is completely easy. After paying the cover, went inside to the standard setup - a large stage with a pole in the middle of the stage took up quite a bit of the main room. Wasn't able to quickly determine where lap dances, etc... were given, but after sitting down, was able to spot the semi-private area for the dances. Dancers were of moderate to high, but were nowhere near unbelievable. Good enough for a one-night stand without regret but not something you would go bragging about.

Got hit up quickly for the minimum drink purchase and was able to pass off a "check back with me in a minute, I just got here" and bought some time. So much so that I didn't have to purchase anything. The dancers were not really that interesting or interested in the patrons - more just dancing because that's what they did. Not a huge crowd, despite it being a decent night for laying loose. About the fourth dancer up I had spotted in the crowd talking with a customer. This girl was the exception to the medium to hot rule. She was simply hot. When she finished, I asked the bartender to arrange an introduction. By this time I had also seen a couple of customers go behind me into another area.

The dancer is a hot, little Latina with an absolutely awesome body. Small handful of breasts, tight ass - beautiful long hair. She introduced herself and I told her how pretty she was. She asked if I wanted to go private - how much? $20 per song - told her deal. Went back to the back for a private room. Sat on a bench with walls to the left and right. Above the walls were sheer black curtains where the guards could easily look through to see if there was trouble, but some privacy was afforded. The guard walked by a couple of times to check the room while we were in there.

I paid for four dances in advance, but she immediately got my attention and I was saluting through my jeans. Noticing this, she blew hot air through my jeans and rubbed it with her hands until she turned her back to me and sat right ontop of my jeans. She started to grind away - unbelievably hot. Midway through the third song, I had too much and exploded in the jeans. She could tell and looked at me with pride and said "I think we're done?" I said yes and told her to keep the change for the fourth song. If I had an extra $20, she would have gotten it. I was completely not expecting to climax and had never before and haven't since. You just have to find the right one, but there is at least one "right one" at this club.

Based on reviews that I had read I was excited to try the "Volleyball" club. Actually, I never really got the name. I expected to have some sort of sports theme, but I never really saw it. My guess is this club used to be very good and now it is just OK. I am not sure of the logic of paying the bartender for dances instead of the dancer. Maybe the dancers got out of control overcharging. Dances are $40, but there seems to be lots of 2 for 1 with shorter songs. I was there from about 8-9:30. The place was mostly dead. The back stage area was empty and a little scary. I was there on a Wednesday and the dancers tended to be on the older side (30+). I expected it to get better the longer I stayed, but it never really did. Maybe another night of the week it would be better.

This club I went on a recommendation. Wow! This is the sister club to Bare Elegance and so it was just as amazing. The layout is Vegas style and they serve food! The dancers were very nice. The dance quality was spectacular. The lighting was great. It's so nice being able to clearly see the girls dancing on stage. I had a great time and do recommend this.

Two visits to Valley Ball and 4Play on weekend nights resulted in vastly different impressions (see the 4Play section for the other review). I decided to give VB another try after a long absence. Even with the free-admission-anytime coupon in the LA Weekly, the place was deserted at prime time. It was a disappointing experience. Boring stage show, overpriced laps, short-cut songs, and endless gimmicks.

Even simple things they couldn't get right. During the lady's choice parade to sell laps, the genius DJ turned off the stage lights so you could barely recognize who the heck was parading. I fail to see the point.

For a club with a nice layout and a reasonable lineup, the energy level was as low as it can get. They seem determined to fail as a club in spite of their tradition and potential. VB is off my list for the foreseeable future (except for their semi-annual VIP parties). The club reminds me nowadays of Star Strip during its long decline. Some of the better girls have left to other clubs, most recently Alexis going to the Jet Strip.

THE FUNDAMENTALS
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Dancer Looks: 7.5 (top three girls) , 6.5 (overall average)

Stage Mileage: 3.0 (lighting) , 6.0 (nudity)

Lap Mileage: 6.5

Song Length: 2:55 (regular) , 2:15 (specials)

Lap Cost: $45+tip (nude) , $30+tip (topless) , $20+tip (bikini)

I saw the world famous Tera Patrick and Yasmine Taylor hanging out here. They were tipping the dancers and having a good time. I would love to get a lapdance from either. They have a new dancer named Jordan. she is beautiful and tall (6'2") she gives great lapdances. The staff was really nice and pleasant but the waitress were not very attentive. The counter and manager were very pleasant and made sure that the remaining time there was pleasant. This is a fun club. It is getting better.

Nice club. dances at night were from $20 table to $45 nude. fun club. really great food for a good portions. Salmon dinner $8.00 Steak dinner $9.50. The club is open till 3:00. There are many pretty dancers, Sierra, jade hsu, jade, allysa, meagan, gia, dynasty.

IMHO, the Valley Ball has gradually degenerated into a not-so-special club. They seem to chip away from their strong points (e.g., dancer looks and stage fun) and hold tight to their weak points (e.g., lap prices). Too bad really, as there was a very hopeful moment in time for this club with the huge buzz that the VIP party generated last year. It would have paid to listen to customer feedback.

THE FUNDAMENTALS
-----------------------------

Dancer Looks: 7.0 (top three girls) , 6.0 (overall average)

Stage Mileage: 6.0 (lighting) , 4.0 (nudity)

Lap Mileage: 7.0

Song Length: 3:00-3:15 (regular) , 2:45 (specials)

Lap Cost: $45 (nude) , $30 (topless)

An update on the VB based on two night visits since my last report. I am starting to have real fun here. Still, there are some reservations.

The good: Further improvement in the dancer lineup. Better lap mileage than my previous experience. Song length is still good. Really friendly staff.

The bad: The price of the nude laps. Only bikini dances are offered in 30-minute slots. Periodic light flashes into the eyes of the tip rail customers. Rare but serious inconsistency in song length.

Other comments: The dancers seem to be upbeat which creates a happy atmosphere. The specials here alternate between 60-second free dances and 2-for-1's (which are almost true 2-for-1's). The lap booths are comfortable and no floaters interrupt the dances.

THE FUNDAMENTALS
-----------------------------

Dancer Looks: 7.5 (top three girls) , 7.0 (overall average)

Stage Mileage: 8.0 (lighting) , 7.5 (nudity)

Lap Mileage: 7.5

Song Length: 3:00-3:15 (regular) , 2:45 (specials)

Lap Cost: $45+0 (nude) , $30+0 (topless)


Went in on Thrusday afternoon/evening. First time in the club, nice lay out. The club was clean, with a nice atmosphere. The bartender was cute, the music wasn't too loud and the drinks were priced about what you'd expect for a club. Didn't try any of the food, but seemed to have a decent menu. They were running a Meatball Sandwich or Spaghetti special for about $7.
Only about 6 girls there, but good quality (looks 6-9). All types were there: Thin, curvy, tall, petite. Most looked to have natural breasts. Since it was my first time there, one of the dancers, Bella, explained the pricing and rules. I ended up getting 2 songs with Bella and got GREAT milage from her. If I can put in a quick plug, she only works Thursday days, and usually leaves by 5. Knock off work early and stop by, you won't be disappointed.

I will return, and soon. One of the better clubs I've been in for the past year.

The Valley Ball has improved. There was a party atmosphere Tuesday night. The girls were prettier than in recent months. The amateur dance contest was excellent.

I didn't try their new 30-minute dances as I heard they were still bikini only. Lap mileage was a bit disappointing to VB standards. No tip was hinted at for the lap (hence the zero below).

THE FUNDAMENTALS
----------------

Dancer Looks: 7.5 (top three girls) , 6.5 (overall average)

Stage Mileage: 8.0 (lighting) , 7.5 (nudity)

Lap Mileage: 6.5

Song Length: 2:45-3:15 minutes (regular) , 3:00 minutes (specials)

Lap Cost: $45+0 (nude) , $30+0 (topless)


The Valley Ball now has nude lap dances for $45 a piece. A good point and a bad point about them:

1. The song length is very good. Average close to 3:30 minutes. Never below 3:00 and once as long as 4:00. If the DJ can fix it at the 3:30, that would be even better as it takes some uncertainty out of the lap decision. BTW, the 2-for-1's were really 1:30 minutes followed by a regular song. Still a good deal.

2. With this song length, the $45 would have been a fair price for nude laps if there were no tips needed for high mileage. I can perfectly understand the girls' point of view in asking for tips for going above and beyond the call of duty, but given the price set by the house, tips just make the dances uncompetitive with peer clubs.

It was amateur night and the contest was very lively and fairly judged. Started quite late (after 11:00 PM), though, but was worth it. The house girls were also very nice. The stage lighting was excellent for most of the sets.

One serious problem: The music volume was painfully loud. I am now officially deaf :-) . Bring your ear plugs.

What a joke. $20 to get in, $6 to have some guy park your car (required), and $6 for a watered down pepsi. All this to watch some broken down stripper shake her ass. Even if you wanted to touch one of the girls you can't.

This place is a waste of money. Used to be great when it was the Oddball, but now it sucks. Get a liquor license guys, and put tops on your girls, and get some talent, and lose the valet....aah damn, forget it...

Stopped by around 3pm today. Club had roughly 5 dancers for the afternoon shift. All were white and probably in the 5-6 range in terms of looks. Dancers and staff were friendly, but nothing caught my eye. Sometimes, its best to eat the cover and a couple rail tips and search for pinker pastures.

I attended the contest that VB has every couple of months where finalists from the contests of the preceding two months compete for $2000 prizes. It was quite a circus (in a good way), somewhat similar to the one in Bob/Oz Classy Ladies, but much better. I highly recommend it, with some reservations. Here are the details.

The contest started at 11:05 PM on Tuesday and ended around 12:30 AM. The house was packed, and the stage seating was full from about 10:30 PM on. There were 12 contestants who were all good looking, and they were very energetic in their stage performance. At least 5 of them were really beautiful, which is definitely more than in your typical contest.

The contest is judged by a combination of votes from a panel of "celebrity" judges and audience applause. the judges are seated at the premium seats at the head of the runway. Unfortunately, they did not have "reserved during the contest" sign there so four guys were kicked out of these seats just before the contest started. Not very professional if you ask me, since these guys may have been tipping for a while to stay in these seats for the contest.

While the panel of judges feature added an interesting flavor to the event, it took away from the audience experience. Most of the dancers focussed on the judges, and some great dancers who didn't ended up not placing at all, while a much lesser dancer who danced exclusively for the judges ended up tying for second place.

The house girls danced on the side stage while the contest was in progress, but they got virtually no audience. They still did their dances professionally, and some were very nice, but I didn't want to lose my seat at the main stage by taking a side trip.

Finally, they had a raffle around midnight for 3 free VIP lap dances (like they do at the Bare Elegance). Nice idea to keep people around :) .

Few remarks from my recent visit to the VB.
1. The place seems to have settled down after the transitional glitches of changing owners.
2. Everything in the VB is one hour later than it used to be, the closing hour (3:00 AM instead of 2:00), the peak hour for girls and guys, the start of the Tuesday amateur contest, etc.
3. The lighting of both stages is the best in Southern California (the Century comes a close second).
4. The dancers are now as nice as they were in the old days.
5. The food is not half bad.

A good Tuesday night at the VB. The house dancers were great, much better than a couple of months ago. Gina gave a particularly spectacular stage performance.

At some point they opened the side stage for two sets of "auditions". Not clear why the two girls didn't just take part in the contest. BTW, the contest started at 11:00 PM, as opposed to the 9:45 PM of the Jet Strip for example.