the ultimate strip club list

a guy's guide to strip clubs

July 9, 2008  •  Vol. 15, Issue 190

It's been over two years since my last visit to the Penthouse and I didn't think very much of it last time. But they pissed me off on my last trip to the Cecil and Brandi's can be a madhouse on weekends so that doesn't leave many options in Downtown Vancouver. I was in the area with friends at a club playing boom-thump-boom, which was driving me bugfuck, so I bailed to go see some titties.

The Penthouse is a significantly better club at 10:30 on a Saturday night than at 8:30 on a weeknight, although I guess that should be obvious. $5 cover and $5.75 for a pint. The DJ kept the pimping for applause/tips to a low frequency and stuck to classic rock and old school hip hop between sets. A pretty big crowd, scattered seats still available but with some weak sight lines of the stage; a bachelor party was occupying gynocology-row and another one had pulled a few tables together in the middle of the floor. Several women in the crowd in mixed groups, a number of mid-twentysomethings and a number of fortysomethings, but no crowds of 19-year-old morons getting legally blitzed for the first time and no obvious gangsters. (There was a shootout at the Cecil a few weeks back, which is why I mention the club demographics.)

The talent falls into three categories: non-dancer (waitresses, massage girls), house dancers and stage dancers. The stage dancers rotate from club to club each week in BC, but clubs generally draw the same level of talent each week and the Penthouse has improved their drawing power in the last two years (several area clubs have closed in that time, so that may have a lot to do with it). Some do private dancing, some don't, and the clubs will occasionally put house dancers on stage for a "quick strip" to cut the wait between shows, so the latter two categories bend into each other a bit: you can generally expect a better show from a stage dancer, she just won't be at the club next week. All three categories ranged from 6-9, so there was plenty of eye candy and I would have liked to see a few of the waitresses get up on stage too. Come ons were generally a little more than just "wannadance" but I only saw one dancer sit down. I didn't partake of any private shows but the dancers seemed to be doing a pretty good business and I noticed a few that were regularly in the booths for a few songs in a row, so that's a positive sign.

With rumors that the Cecil has less than a year to live before implosion for condos, and Brandi's having some issues with the VPD, it's nice to know that the Penthouse is in a heritage building that can't be 'dozed. And, since it may soon be the only strip club in the downtown core at some point, it's nice to see that it's now worth visiting.

This was about five weeks back, or so... wandered in on an impulse, as none of the featured dancers I like were on stage at other places. Pretty sure it was a $5 cover.

The room's a lot better than when I was last at the Penthouse, a long long time ago, and doesn't look like the total dive it once did.

That said, the room is (as the review below calls out)pretty long and narrow, and the tables/chairs to the back are a long way from the stage. It was a slow Tuesday when I was there, only two dancers working the 'private' hustle, neither of them with assets worth risking the $ for the typical Vancouver experience. Lighting is pretty even throughout the club, with the stage only a little brighter than the main room. Nice heavy red curtains at the back of the stage, but all in all not a lot of room for the girls to move around in.

Massage girl was good, definitely worth the $25. That's developing into a permanent weakness for me, and one of my favorite things about Vancouver clubs.

Biggest problem was the delay between stage dancers. Over half an hour the first break, even longer the second (at which point I left). The one girl I did see on stage was leggy, great body, short cropped hair framing a perfect face... but I didn't stick around long enough to see if the other talent was similarly blessed. Vancouver clubs tend to push the song breaks a bit, but this one took the cake.

Cover charge is $5 CN. Sign on the building says established 1947. I think they have been this building since then. Kind of run down. Seems almost like 2 rooms, One with a bar pool table and VIP area to the left of the stage. Then there’s main room with chairs up to the stage and tables quite a ways back. Arrived around 9 on a Saturday night, Again I am surprised at the number of women that go to clubs in Vancouver.

There seem to be two types of dancers here, feature, and private. The feature dancers do 4 songs getting naked during the last song. I saw only one $5 put on the stage. I guess if one and two dollars are coins, there will be fewer bills put out.

The private dancers were hustling everyone for dances. The first one, had a nice body but a butter face, and had garlic for dinner. So I passed on that. They also have massage girls that will give you a shoulder rub for $25. Got a private dance from “Jenny” who was the best of the bad in terms of looks. She said she would give me the best dance I ever had. I doubted that, but it would be nice to see what she had under the panties. Like I had expected, this was an air dance in a dark cubical. She did have a nice shaved kitty and put on a good demonstration for $50 for 2 dances. There is a 20 minute break between feature dancers, so plenty of time to get bored, if you are not constantly getting a private dance. After about four of the dancers, I had had enough of tattooed butts, and silicon boobs and went on my way.


Visited twice while in Vancouver - Tuesday, March 14th and Thursday, March 16th. Standard strip club fare - a rotation of 5-6 girls (same on both nights). Something unusual happened on the Thursday, though - there were plenty of women in the club (aside from the dancers). I counted at least 15-20 women, out of a total of around 30 customers! It looked like there was a women's fraternity out having a good time. With the permission of the staff, a few of them did some dancing on the stage between the "pro" acts, and they were actually pretty good. None of them were willing to take anything off, but they all had a great time, and everybody who was watching them was happily cheering them on. I've never seen such a thing at a strip club before - I'm not sure if it's a regular occurence at the Penthouse, but it was fun nonetheless!