the ultimate strip club list

September 5, 2008  •  Vol. 15, Issue 248

Coming from California and Nevada strip clubs, this come off as a bit of a disappointment. This was my first trip to Vancouver and I have heard good stories about the clubs in Canada, so my buddies and I thought this would be no different. Unfortunately, it was.

You arrive at the checking counter where you are then ushered to go into an elevator (to the 5th floor?) Club size I would say is decent. If you're looking for a dark, moody, danky strip club, this ain't the one. This place was pretty bright (as clubs can go) and clean. I believe there was a center, circular stage with staggered seating all around the stage and people just seem to be chilling. Vibe was good.

The dancers at Brandi were pretty good. I like how they're all wearing white as a sort of club uniform, which I haven't seen at a club before. I was ready to delve into some fun when I hit my first obstacle. Seems as if the price of a single lap dance was $40. Three songs and you're already down $120. Thinking that maybe the strippers set their own price, we confirmed it again with another girl. Ouch.

So after a couple of cocktails, we decide to get some dances anyways, cause, what the hell, we're here anyways. After buying dances for each other, my friend buys me a two-song dance. I don't remember the girls name, but it doesn't matter. As soon as we walked through the maze of rooms in the back, I realize there one dominant rule for the club: "The customer cannot touch, anywhere". How do I know? Cause I tried to touch her leg, not her thigh or even inner thigh mind you, just her lower leg as she propped it up during the dance. She gently moved my hand away. I tried again and got the hand again. OK, I get it.

The rest of the dance proceeded as I waited for my two songs to end for the air lap dance. When she asked if I wanted another, I said "No, thank you" and walked backed to my friends. Apparently another one got the same type of dance but was promised that she would "dance REAL close". Haha.

We didn't realize how clean the city was but we promptly exited the building after that.

This was my first visit to Brandi's and it was on a Monday night. I thought the club had an interesting layout almost like the stage pits in Portland, OR. Much more classy than other clubs I'd been to in Vancouver. There were maybe 7 customers and 5 girls but it was around 1am. I got a chance to see two feature dancers which were very impressive. I'm not sure what the regular dancers were like and wonder if the two features were there for Memorial Day weekend. I'll definitely go back but will try it on a weekend.

Went to this club on a Thursday night. No cover charge at all. Went inside and found out why they don't charge any cover. Girls were average at best and most of them either looked real old or were chubby. Only 1 or 2 good looking girls working. Club was small with a few stages for stage shows and some booths for private lapdances. Lapdances ran for $20 per song on average. Drinks cost about $5 for some pop. Overall, not a very good club with below average looking girls. Would not recommend this club.

In Vancouver over Christmas for a ski vacation and stopped in on my way back to the airprt. Friendly staff, felt welcome as an out of towner. Girls were mostly freindly, a few 9s no 10s. One very pretty blonde with a French accent made my afternoon, great conversantion even though I declined a dance. Hustle factor was low. I was just in a browsing mood so I did not try any of the private dances. Overall the stage shows were OK, although I'm guesing Vancouver has better to offer.

Just got back from Vancouver and thought I'd rate this club. First off, it was convenient to our hotel (went there with my SO), and probably the most convenient to downtown. It's on the 5th floor of a building in the middle of the financial district, and security is a bit tight. They actually take a picture of you when you give them your ID, don't know what's up with that. Not like we're from the area, so it wasn't too big of a deal, but still was the first club to do that. Secondly, they scan you with a metal detector wand. Also not a big deal, but it's not like this club is in a particularly seedy area. Cover charge was $9 for guys, free for girls. Drinks ranged from $5-$10 CDN.

Once there, we were rather disappointed with the selection. Dancers ranged from 6-8, so actually the scenery was pretty good, but there were only 8 dancers there. We arrived on a Saturday night around 10 and stayed until 1 or so, so it's not like we were there on off-hours. Given the demand, I think 8 dancers was a bit too few for the number of people there. Secondly, the club itself is rather small. The best place to sit is right in front of the stage, and I was surprised that tipping from those seats was rather slim. There are a number of tables on the side which can be had for $100 CDN, probably not worth it unless you're with a large group. Otherwise, you have to sit right in front of the poles, or at the two bars, which tend to get crowded.

As far as the talent goes, like I mentioned, most were in the 6-8 range, great dancers, with good bodies, but almost mechanical in their dance routines. Pole work was pretty good, but they didn't seem interested in engaging the crowd. The couple next to us on the stage area tipped extensively, but got no more than a few seconds of attention. We had two private dances, one from Dominique, who was probably one of the best dancers there. She charged $50 for one person, $75 for the two of us, for one song, and wouldn't give a break on multiple songs. Rather steep, IMO, especially since it was pretty much an air dance. My second dance was just by myself, and it was $35 for one song, and the second song was for tip. Again, not much contact at all. We were not allowed to touch the dancers, and they barely had any contact with us, either in the couples dance or the single dance. However, the dances were given in the back two rooms, with curtains pulled, so there was a good degree of privacy. Not like it was really needed, however.

One last comment, the place was very couple-friendly. A large number of couples were there, as well as females by themselves. Probably 60%-40% single men to couples/women. That was a plus for us, but the fact that there were only 8 dancers there was a huge disappointment.

We skipped the massages; there was only one woman giving a head/neck massage, and she looked like Brigette Neilsen, not my type at all.

We haven't been to any of the other clubs in Vancouver, so we can't compare.

Plusses: Talent: Solid 7-8's. Couple friendly.
Minuses: Lack of choice. No contact. Expensive dances.


First off let me state that I come to Vancouver about 4 times a year on business. Each time, I go to Brandi's and usually one of the other clubs. Brandi's is the best in Vancouver. The fact that I am giving it a 6 says a lot about the state of the gentlemen's clubs in Vancouver.

The girls are between 5s and 8s but look to be bored frequently. Sometimes the girls walking around giving neck and shoulder massages are better looking than the dancers.

The club is always very clean with good drink service. However, the girls don't even hit the stage till about 8:30-8:45 which makes for late nights when you have meetings the next morning at 7AM. The private dances that I received left a lot to be desired - like contact! The girls were always at least 6 inches above me and looking around as if they couldn't wait to be somewhere else.

This club had more women and couples as cutomers than I have ever seen in a strip club. That was one oddity.

Again, if you want to see what Vancouver has to offer, come to Brandi's but expect to pay a lot and leave dissapointed.

Went there on a Tuesday night. Got there around 8:30pm or so and there was no girl on stage, no girls walking around. After about 15-20 minutes one girl came out and danced for 15 minutes. She went from fully clothed to nude across 4 songs. One girl came out of the back room and then there were 2.

Around 9pm other girls started to show up and hustled private dances. Still a long wait between the stage shows (about 15-20 minutes). Seems they are pushing the private dances by offering little else for entertainment. The girls were generally 7+, and friendly.

Did get a dance. 35$CD for the first dance, and the second is for "tip"...hmmm seems like a hustle to me. Dances are one song topless, second nude, no touching either way. Not terrible, but not much BFYB.

Mixed Drinks are 8$CD, 7$CD Cover charge and the bouncer wands you for metal before you can enter the club. One upside is that there is good steak place on the first floor of the building, Brandi's is on the 5th.

Might go back, but i'd probably check out other clubs in the areas first.

From what I had read, this seemed like a high class place, with dress code and all. Dress code said no jeans, no Tee shirts. When I was there, it seemed that I was the only one not wearing jeans. The Brandi’s experience starts out side. The door man wands you and tells you to check your cell phone up stairs. After you pass the first test, you are allowed in the lobby, but only 2 at a time. The elevator appears and 2 are allowed in the elevator, and 2 more in the lobby. Once up stairs there is a coat check and that is not an option. $9 Canadian to get in and 5 for a water, 5 tip to get my coat back.

I walk around the stage and there are several empty tables, but all have reserved signs on them. All the other seats are taken, so I go to the bar and get a drink, and find a place to stand while I watch the entertainment. The dancer was OK, nothing special, and her “show” was so- so, but she got naked in the end.

Several girls solicited private dances, promising the best ever. I had my doubts from the other posts and figured a naked air dance in a dark room, so I passed.

One thing I noticed that I had not seen in any other clubs listed here… Half the customers were women. The atmosphere was more social than anything I had ever seen. Some girls with dates, some with other girls. Drinking age is 18 so, this was a young crowd. These girls did not seem like lezies, nor did they seem to be working, just there for the show, or the music? This was the same at the other clubs in Vancouver as well.

Stayed for 2 dancers and since no seats were opening, I headed out in search of something different.


This is not the best club in Vancouver by a long shot. It's way too slick with no sense of fun. The girls on stage are mostly over-enhanced, with an attitude. The girls on the floor looking for dances (air dances) are nicer, but the whole place was a turn-off for me. We went to the Penthouse instead and had a good time.

Well....the club was good. The GIrls were hot. But there was absolutely no touching. Not even a damn hug. For $35 a song, thats quite steep.

On the other hand, the girls were all hot.

There were these 2 hot girls giving neck massages for 20 bucks for 2 songs. It was a real real nice massage (relaxing, not sensual or sexual), and well worth the 20.

I would go back there for the massage, but the $9 cover fee kind of drives me away.

Tried this place on a recent visit to Vancouver. On the 5th floor of a building in downtown Vancouver. Has a dress code enforced before you can get on the elevator to go up to the club. Do not wear jeans, tennis shoes etc. Supposedly this is the high class club in Vancouver. On the night I went only about 10 dancers ranging from 7 - 9. A large bar on one wall with tables and then pay for booths against the back wall. Paid $100 for a booth (first mistake). Dancers do a stage routine and then circulate amongst the patrons. A beautiful Russian came and sat with me. She charges $20 per dance all air and hints at a more intimate dance in the private room. I did not take her up on the offer as in most upscale places nothing really happens. I was glad I didn't as when I went to the restroom a regular told me you would be lucky to get a kiss let alone any touching in this place. Service was excellent dancers were beautiful but kind of a sterile atmosphere. However in the same building is the Swedish Touch Salon beautiful women great full service massages and not too outrageously priced. Canadian & US dollars are almost even so paid $250.00 US for a great time at Swedish Touch. Skip Brandi's and go directly to Sedish Touch.

Was in town on a Tuesday, staying close to Brandi's (and hadn't been in ages), so I thought I'd chance it. Didn't really spend enough time/money to get a full read of the place, but it's been a long time since anyone else has reviewed this club, so here we are.

Short verdict: Wasn't a bad way to spend a few hours, but I found it comparatively lacking... hard to know if that was the club, or it being a Tuesday.

For those who don't know, Brandi's is a small club in a downtown Vancouver medium-rise. You need to take an elevator to get up, and on even mildly busy nights the bouncers used to create a line-up, which you could usually jump if you wanted to spend an extra $20CDN.

Either times have changed, or it was a slow night, but either way this night I was only out the $9 for cover. They do force a coatcheck, and apparently insist on you checking your cel/camera phone (but I saw other clientele in with theirs, so I don't know how much they actually police that.) They also tend to enforce their dresscode, highlights of which include no sneakers, no jeans, no t-shirts. Beers are $7.

Once you're in, there's a small table and chairs seating area, and then the in-the-round stage. Around the stage there's one row of chairs, with the rest of the seating in the club being split between two bars (not ideally suited for stage watching), and 'reserved' booths that can be yours if you want to spend the incremental ludicrous amount ($100, last time I checked).

The appeal of Brandi's for me used to be that it looked like a clean, upscale joint, with consistently some of the best looking talent around. To top it off, everyone I ever saw at Brandi's actually knew how to dance, and usually varied the routines throughout the evening.

The club still tries to present itself that way, but it felt like it had slipped a bit (again, could be 'cause it was a Tuesday).

While Brandi's used to get dinged for being too dim, one of the reasons they did that was to highlight the blacklight effects of the clad-in-white wait staff and VIP dancers. While the wearing white bit is still there, and still looks kinda classy, the club feels now too well lit for that to play as well as it used to.

Stage talent was good, but also seemed to lack a certain spark that I had previously come to count on at Brandi's - only the third dancer I saw (whoever she was, she follwed Midori, but it was hard to catch their names as they were announced) managed to light things up, with a physique and routine that both clocked in at high 8s. Outside of that, everyone slid into comfortable 7s (more for performance than for looks, which were higher). Needed to wait too long between sets (in my opinion, anyway), and suffered through two VIP-girl parades.

Neither time did anyone interest me enough to opt for the private dance - seemingly still all-air - though from past experience I suspect that what was on offer was largely limited due to it being early in the week.

If I hit Vancouver later in the week next time, I may check Brandi's out again, as I do have somewhat fond memories of the place. As it stands, on the way out, I met someone in the elevator who was heading back to Cecil's, which he said was "smoking hot"... and I can't help but reflect that it was a Tuesday there, as well...