the ultimate strip club list

a guy's guide to strip clubs

July 9, 2008  •  Vol. 15, Issue 190

Housed in what used to be a decent restaurant, with a Soviet-parody theme, CCCP is now a less than decent strip club. This is one of two clubs I've visited in Yerevan that has accomplished the near impossible - attractive girls dance topless on stage with a lifelessness that could put the most severe insomniac to sleep. And just in case you find a dancer with enough chemistry to get you slightly aroused, about every 4-5 songs (loud, bass and drum thumping songs that make you want to run for Excedrin) are followed by a mediocre singer. The club is in a basement, and it is so dark that you have to wait for your eyes to adjust before you can walk through without danger. Although darkness might be an asset in some clubs that allow a certain degree of groping, this one seems to be strictly hands off. The night I went there were about 5 dancers, all rated 4-5, with another point deducted for their lack of enthusiasm. The only positive point about this club is price - you can get in for about $9, beer is less than $2, dancers hope for a $1 tip. But if you are a bargain-seeking strip club patron, you would do far better to head up Abovian a few blocks for Club Zeus where the lighting is better, girls more attractive and friendlier, music a few decibels quieter, and an overall feeling that if you went there 3 times this would be one of those neighborhood bars where "everybody knows your name". By contrast, at CCCP, I didn't want anybody to know my name, and was in no danger of revealing it because I couldn't stop yawning long enough to have a conversation.