the ultimate strip club list

a guy's guide to strip clubs

July 9, 2008  •  Vol. 15, Issue 190

This site has been very helpful to me over the years, but it always bothers me when a club´s rating seems out of sinc with reality. On the strength of it´s rating, I visited Palazio on a Saturday night, arriving at 9pm and departing just before 11pm. The place makes a good first impression--it is large, well-furnished, atmospherically lit, and is a clean and comfortable place to sit and have a drink. The large-screen TV´s were nice for watching some March Madness. If strip clubs were to be judged on the strength of their wine lists, Palazio would get a 10. They also offer an impressive array of Cognacs and Scotches. However, most of us do not go to strip clubs JUST to sit in a pretty room and have a nice drink. So, what´s wrong with Palazio? Well, when the waitresses are more attractive than the girls on stage, you have a problem. I considered offering some of the waitresses some cash in exchange for a dance or two, but I did not want to offend them. The girls who were available for dances that Saturday night ranged from 4´s to 7´s. None of them struck my fancy, so I departed after drinking a very nice single malt. From what I could gather by peeking at the lap dances (there is no privacy at this club) contact was OK, but only one-way. The girls on stage seemed mostly bored. I have visited quite a few of the top clubs in the country, and it is safe to say that Palazio in no way deserves its current 7.9 rating. I do not believe that any clubs in Austin deserve such a high rating, but there are a few clubs that I would rank above Palazio. I visited Sugar´s and the Yellow Rose during the same trip to Austin, and I will post reviews soon. Short version: Yellow Rose is the most fun.

Was there on a busy Thursday night, expecting hot college girls - saw more college girls in the crowd rather than on the stage. There were 3 stages going. Ladies were very generous with their privates at the tip rails. However, when it came to private dances, expect about 50% air, but then again YMMV. Things might be better in the VIP, however, I did not have the time to find out.

The dancers were 4-7 and with the lack on intimacy, I am giving this club a 6.5 due to the crowd and club atmosphere.




Went there for the first time on a recent Monday night, expecting that it would be a fairly low-key night. I couldn't have been more wrong. The place was packed to the gills (apparently, more than one birthday celebration was taking place). It took me 20-30 minutes just to find an empty parking space. I had been about ready to give up for the night but am glad I persisted, for Palazio is a lively club with more than its fair share of dazzling eye candy on display.

The club itself is nicely appointed and classy with one main stage and two satellite stages. The place was well-maintained, and I found it quite comfortable. But most importantly, there were plenty of beautiful, sexy ladies on display. I would say the majority were in the 7 range, with a generous number of 8's and a few 9's. Not many 5's or below. The dancers were primarily white and hispanic. But there were also a few african americans and asians there as well.

The dances were very nice; Palazio doesn't cheat on song length. Those who are looking for nasty interactions with the ladies probably won't find them here. But that doesn't mean the Palazio dancers give air dances, because they certainly don't. They were very sensual and enjoyable.

So all in all, I give Palazio a solid 8, and I hope to make my way back to Austin again in the near future.

This is my club of choice in Austin. Austin clubs are not as hot as Dallas or Houston but a few clubs have a fun factor. Palazio has some VIP areas where the girls may get friendly. My experience is if dress nice (body spray) and are polite you can have a very nice time. I don't know that the actual VIP room ($100 bottle) is better than a dark corner of the $20 seating. YMWV. I have good experiences in the afternoon (kissing, fondling).