the ultimate strip club list

a guy's guide to strip clubs

July 9, 2008  •  Vol. 15, Issue 190

Went in on a Tuesday night and it was slow. There were 3 girls working, they were a 6,4, and a 2. After about 5 minutes the 6 came up to the bar and told that bartender she had to go home because she puked in the dressing room. The bartender was funny as shit, but the girls were not worth the trip. I would have had a dance with the 4, but she did not leave the locals that were buying her drinks. Either way, do not visit unless you are REALLY bored!

been to this club a handful of times. not too long ago i was in a really awful mood and came in as an attempt to lighten it. the only dance i bought that visit was from a lovely lady named "star" who was incredibly kind to me and was gorgeous. the past couple times ive been in i havent seen her. does she still dance here??

I had just left Crazy Rock in Romeoville and stopped by the Cellar to "drain-the dragon," "shake hands with the mayor," or simply take a piss, before getting back on the Interstate. Since this was "Race Week" at the Joliet Speedway, I thought I would check to see if there was any imported talent brought in to help relax the race fans and crews.

It was about 10 PM and there were 5 "dancers" working and the hefty, slutty and aggressive bartender, Kim were the only females in this downtrodden bar. There were maybe 6-7 customers and a couple of security/bouncer/host guys milling about and watching the dancers and parking lot on closed circuit TV.

The DANCERS

Linda was a pudgy, almost if not already, 50 year-old grandma trolling for private dances. There was an extremely tall and overweight (Gee, I forgot-her-name) dancer who will sit and talk with you, but I settled on MiMi. MiMi was a petite and curvaceous 23 year-old with a decent face, small perky tits and a nice round ass. I went back for a couple and we had a little two way North & South exploration and hardly anything was off-limits, given the fact that this joint is not topless and the dancers wear pantyhose. The stick shifting was supposed to get me to blow my load or my wad, whichever came first. Being an aged veteran of these maneuvers, I sucked some tit, grabbed some ass and downed my beer during my two-song adventure and high-tailed it out of there.

If you agree to buy the dancer or the waitress a drink, it will cost you $10. Go ahead and spend $20 on a dance or two and then get the Hell out-of-there. Think Dusk-to-Dawn was scary? Try spending more than a half hour and $50 at this place.

This place can be fun with a crowd of visiting race fans and more girls. It blows just about anytime other than that.

How else can I describe the girls here except for, Moo Cows. There were 3 girls working and I none of them were under 200 pounds. They were huge. Beer was $5, Corona $6.50 and mix drinks were $9. I got totally wasted and the girls still looked awful. The girls dont even dance, they play pool and bug you for stupid dances where all they do is bounce up and down on you. Horrible!!! Stay away from this place unless your a chubby chaser.