the ultimate strip club list

September 7, 2008  •  Vol. 15, Issue 250

This place is the "K-Mart" of strip clubs in the Chicago area. That's right,

Ok, was feeling like I needed to see what the New Year had in store at the

Again I made the mistake of going here during the day. I thought there might

After leaving here last Saturday night I was just amazed at the business this

I go here about every other weekend and it only keeps getting better. New girls

So why a 10? ... Because its 10 bucks all you can drink! And they feed you

Back at an old favorite. During the week is the time to go. I went on a

Been to HB gain after a long break. The thing I like about this club is the

I came with some coworkers and was impressed with the quality of the girls.

I don't know how much more I could add that hasn't already been

Love the Lithuanian girls, they may not take off their tops, but boy, oh boy

Went in for lunch 3-29-03, it was not too busy and the collection girls was

I've been a regular at HB's, it hass been really good in the past. The dancers

Stopped by on a Monday Night about 8:00PM. Still 10 bucks to get in and then

Okay, there's been plenty of reviews about this place already, but here's my 2

You really can’t beat this deal. $10 bucks, all you can drink and food

I went on a Sunday night. As expected the talent was kinda short staffed and I

...maybe even a 7.5. I havent been to this place in 3 years or so but Ive been

This one is for horneyboar. Hey buddy it's a strip club!!! What do expect for

I went last night, gotta say this club is so afraid of LE even the upstairs

Had some time while I was near O'Hare and made my way to HB's to see how the

Tiger blew me away so hot and looks alot like Xtina but taller and better boobs

If this club had nothing else other than the 'free' drinks and sandwiches, it

Friday afternoon at HB's was pretty tame. One of my ATF's yeah ... (I'm a

I don't mind going to this club every once in a while. Mainly because this

Had a great time at this club. Score of 7 only because no topless or nudity.

All I can say is, this club still stays on my radar as a GOTO club, when I am

This club receives high marks for the quality of women and cost (entrance

I'm pretty sure the amount of countries participating in the olympics will

This club will always hover around 6-8 for me, based on the visit. I always

Friday day shift visit and there had to be almost 20 dancers working and the

Heavenly Bodies in Elk Grove Village is a castle-esque structure (though much

Went last Tuesday... I really don't understand how this place continues to

They still haven't finished remodeling the outside, but who cares. They don't

The girls were absolutely beautiful. Many with great personalities. Of course

This club has some BEAUTIFUL women there. The only shortcomings are they do not

I rate this club above average just because of the girls, the rest of the club

As this is a neighbrhood club for me, I do stop in from time to time. Yes their

The only thing that changes at HB is the number of hotties that work there.

Moving up with a rocket. The girls (a few of them are off the scale, Andrea is

Just got back from HB. The girls are getting better looking, if that's

Came back last Tuesday night after a brief hiatus LOL. The quality of women

Let me get the negative out of the way first. What is wrong with the waitress

Nice atmosphere. Cover charge is relatively low and the beer is included. The

I have been going to Heavenly Bodies on and off for about three years now. I

This is my second time to this club. I have never been real impressed. The

Headed out of Chicago one Tuesday evening and decided to see if HB's had added

Visited HB while in Chicago and thought it is a good news/bad news type of

Stopped by there for happy hour with some friends. It's a nice place with more

I like HB alot, I stop in here during the afternoon. Only drawback is the

This club seems to be a breeding ground for hot women. The dancers are

I've always liked this club alot. Girls r well dressed and they even have

I came back here after about a year and I found that there have been some good

I really enjoyed myself at this club. The women here are lookers (7-9) and are

Was about the 4th person in the place a opeaning time on a Tuesday. Already

No surprises here...

However HB management is now charging $.50 per beer.

This is just a warning. I went to HB today as I have done for many years. I

Several weeks ago, I had the opportunity to make another visit and one of my

This is not a rant or a "had a bad night but will come back" type of review.

Haven't been here in a long time 2-3 years. Here's the update. $10 cover but

Heavenly Bodies continues to move up on my all-time favorite list. Went there

Had the opportunity to make another visit on Wednesday. They now have an early

Went on a Monday, paid the fee and entered the club. Club has several dance

I went in here and hadn't been in a while. This black chick named Essence made

Went in at 6:30 last night and had a great time. End of the first shift was

Went recently after the brief no alcohol period. Still $10 to get in including

This is a great place to hang out on a weekend night! This club has a decent

Went to HB on Wednesday for the first time in a long time. Pleasantly

A true "titty bar", Heavenly Bodies is distinctly unrefined and even less

I have seen negative reviews here in the past - but here are some high points.

Spent a Friday shift change at HB's this past week, and it was amazing. The

went friday night about 6:15 or so stayed till 8:30. as has been stated the

Recently checked out HB once again on a Friday night. The talent was quite

I went there around 8 PM on a Wednesday night. The building is fairly beat up.

Have just been to this club recently again and I can not but just like this

Whenever I come to Chicago on business I always stop by this club. The dances

Wow, cheap beer and cheap titties aplenty here. If you are traveling to Ohare,

10 dollar cover and then free beer all night, sure the club looks weak from the

Have been to heavenly bodies several times over the last month. This is a very

Still one of my fave places in the chicago area but things have started to

Was at this place for the first time while on business in Chicago. 10:00 PM on

Heavenly Bodies is close to the airport but not exactly easy to get to. It can

Had not been to the ORD hot spot in a couple of months, but made an shift

I was once again in the Chicago last week on business and thougth I would go by

I was at this club last week, and it looks like they cleaned out the old

Went yesterday for the first time in several months. It was like a different

I stopped by again here a few weeks ago and there were definitely some 8's and

For you lunch time people. I stopped last firday and last tuesday, just by

Went ot the Heavenly Bodies on 09/305 which was a Friday. This place was packed

Feeling a bit horny as I passed Heavenly Bodies on my way to watch the Sox play

Was here about a month ago after a long hiatus. The same tired old girls were

Just this weekend I went to Heavenly Bodies up in Elk Grove Village... Okay

Not sure if it is kind of a rule now. But quite a few visits in a row, on the

I have been to this a dozen times in the last 6 months. Two personalities to

Relatively hot girls, cheap dances, decent atmosphere, and unpleasant odors

Went to this club today, Tuesday, from 5-8. The club is located in an

Went back to thi club for the first time in about 6 months. Alot of new faces.

HB's moving upon the scale due to some recent new girls, after a rare

One fine strip bar. Lots of ladies with a mix of American and European woman.

Solid club, certainly a great value with the free food and low priced beer,

This place is always a) affordable with cheep domestic beer at $.50 per bottle

Back to HB after a time spent paying off a few bills, the girls were

Back to HB's after a bit of a sabbatical. Toured the former eastern bloc this

I went to HBs last week on Friday - very crowded and tough to get a seat. I

Overall one of the better clubs in the Chicago area. There are a couple of

I went there at 4:00 this Friday and the place was 80% full with guys.The cover

Went to this club on 2/25. Saturday night. If a bikini club is what you are

Living in the area, it depends upon the night you visited this club as to what

I revisited this club after a long absence, and not much has changed except the

This is a big, noisy place. Lots of girls and loads of noisy guys. To me it

Back again to one of the favorites. Went for a friends birthday on a Saturday

What can you say about a club that charges you $10 to walk in the door, gives

Went to Allstars last Friday during the day. No cover till 8 pm. Drinks are

This place is fun. It is down to earth. I was there late in the afternoon. Most

OK, now I know why they have an upstairs at HB's. It is private and the girls

This place is freakin incredible! The girls all have great attitudes and the

I just went to HB and was a bit dissapointed. There were several very sweet

This is still the best deal in the Chicago area. $10 cover includes bottomless

I must say one of the real advantages of living in strip club hell (Chicago) is

I always seem to have lots of fun here, and it always seems to cost lots of

I stopped by last week and settled in slowly (it was a mon. night, so not as

Being from Dallas, this place is really strange, to say the least.

It is a

This is a real, "good ol boy" type of club. Well, it's more of a bar

lots of girls here. a few 9's.
the club was super busy and beer was $3-$4 so

Large place, good looking girls for the most part, but had 2 come over within

Back to an old favorite, the place is like that ol barcolounger, you know you

Was here on a Thursday night a couple of weeks ago. Not many changes here, a

Went to HB early on a Monday evening. This was my first trip to a club in

This was my first time back to HB in maybe 8 months. I was there about noon.

This is a strange club. It is bikini in the main room but for private dances

OVERALL, A DISAPPOINTMENT. THIS IS A BIKINI CLUB; SO CUSTOMERS DON'T GET TO SEE

I was disappointed in this club. It was very large and very noisy. There were

Went to HB on Monday and saw several new faces. That was good because it

When you first come in to this club it appears to be nothing more than a bikini

My impression of this place, without actually going there, had always been

I went to HB on Wednesday. There were alot of new ladies, but they seemed to

Made my monthly trip to the mecca of eastern european hotties, and was

I am a regular at Heavenly Bodies I get out there about once a month and have

Yes, the monthly review is here.. the Bulgarian Princess is back, Aurora had

One of the local favorites. I end up here every few weeks with some friends.

For the Chicago area, this is a decent club depending on what your preferences

Not bad. The girls were 7's and 8's, with one 9.5 (Mandy). Unless you are

Whenever I am badly in need to unwind, this is the club I head to. You do not

HB is definitely a good time. Not living room comfy, more like a bar. Cover is

First time there paid cover walked in and sat for 3 songs no waitress or dancer

I was in Chicago on a layover Saturday night and decided to stop by based on

Things that knock my rating down:
- no nudity, all bikini, on stage
- only

The dances on stage are done in bikinis. The first night I was there, there

Went to Heavenly Bodies on a Wednesday about noon. Large free parking lot in a

Went on a Thursday night around 9. Was there for 3 hours. The club is located

Went back to this place after a long absence on a Friday night. Was denied

Stopped in on a Friday evening and was surprised that this venue has become a

This club has become more and more disappointing the more times I go there. It

I visited on a Thursday, early afternoon. I was hoping to get a dance from my

This clue is pretty good and can be bad at the same time. On the good side, the

Went on a Thursday afternoon after work brought me out to O'Hare and had not

Time of Day: Saturday Night from 9:30 pm - 2:00 am.

Cover: $10

Drinks:

This is not your top shelf club. That being said you can have a great time

This would be a higher rating for the girls, lap dances, $0.50 beers except for

Stopped by last Thursday around 9pm. Cover was $10. Jacket need to be checked.

Chicago...not a bastion of strip club fun. That said, HB is such a

Oh how the mighty have fallen, used to be worth the time, the money, and now it

I hadn't been to this club in over a year. They still haven't paved the parking

Had some time to kill before a flight and HB is located close to the airport.

The girls are great. I had a chance to get a 5 for $50 session with Dixie. She

Have been going here for years, It's had its' ups and downs. Seems to be in one

Stopped by after work, last working friday before Xmas. Usually the friday

Let's start off the year fresh! Please get rid of the pathetic dancers- Miko

I used to love coming to HB's after work, about 4PM on weekdays. My favorite

Wow. This club can surprise. I've been going here off and on for 30 years.

Cover charge is cheap, $5 during the day and $10 at night. Food is free and the

If you are in the Chicago area and are hoping for a great strip club

Continuing their slippage into a all time low for me. Gave it another chance

Great lunch time or ohare airport delay stop. Night shift usually better then

Ok, so I'm in town and a friend likes using me as an excuse to go to HB. No

Afraid I'll have to agree with the review below mine. I live 20 min. down the

I had this place on boycott since January of 2006, and broke it during a recent

Stopped by during the day shift about 3:30 on a recent weekday. As expected

Went there for the first time with a friend of mine who raved about HBs Club

5-6-08 My boss and I made our semi-annual visit to HB. Arribed around 7:30.

I have been to this club many times. Most dancers are ok looking. Most are

One of the best values out there when it comes to alcohol. 20 dollars gets you

I went about noon and soon found that my favorite, Rozanne was working. We

I was here recently on a weekday evening. It is my club of choice, when I have

This place is easy to get to, plenty of parking, and near O'Hare airport.

This place ones my favorite has become an OK to me at this moment. I was there

Like a fool I occasionally wander into Heavenly Bodies hoping things are going

I was near ohare earlier this week and decided to head into the old stomping

I've visited HB a few times. I was stunned that no dancers talked to me at all

The ladies are very hot. there were a few polish ladies. The dances, however,

Back in Chicago on business and back to HB with my buddy. Upon further review

the main dance floor is nothing special. the girls keep their bikinis on at

I was there at tuesday afternoon and decided to kill time for a while. Nothing

i love this place and the girls working here... i make sure to stop in every

The club is very cheap and fun to go to. The cover is $10 and the beer is

Been coming here for a long time. It is by far the best place to go to in the