the ultimate strip club list

September 7, 2008  •  Vol. 15, Issue 250

This is definitely the weirdest strip club that I've ever visited in my life. First there's the location...it's off I-91 North (Exit 11)...go towards White River Junction and take the first Right onto Sykes Avenue, then take another right just after the Toyota dealer to get to the parking lot of the local bowling alley. No, I'm not kidding...the club is located behind Shenanigan's bar (formerly known as Cactus Jack's) and is actually attached to the bowling alley. No, I'm still not kidding. You can get to the club either by going into the hillbilly bar and making your way to the very back door or going into the bolwing alley and going to the far right of the alley (I was blocked from doing the latter due to a teeny-bopper bowling party...no, I'm not kidding!)...the bathrooms for Hollywood's are the bowling alley's bathrooms...they were clean by bowling alley standards. The club apparently opens at 7 PM on most nights and closes at 1 AM ("last call for private dances" occurs about 45 mins earlier though...weird). They have an 18+ night or two at the beginning of the week.

The club's website did basically correctly indicate who would be dancing on the night I was there recently. The club is basically one smallish room. You enter and the doorman will take your $5 cover charge, then the bar is on your left and the two main private dance areas (they are booths with a curtain across them) are on your right. To the left a little further into the club is the large stage area where most of the fun, topless action happens. The DJ and the dancer dressing room are located towards the back of the room on the right behind some mirrors. At the very back of the club were some couches and what appeared to be another lap dance area that wasn't in use when I was there. There were a ton of mostly college-type people there on the Saturday night that I was there. I swear that I saw just as many titties from the young, female customers as from the younger dancers...it was insane at times. The bartender (who was also working just for tips according to the DJ) gave me free sodas all night, which was cool...tip him well.

The private dances appeared to be few and far between...most of the 5 or so dancers circulated, but they appeared to be mostly talking to locals or regulars. I didn't see many people getting dances when I was there, but there were a ton of people though. The private dance that I had was totally nude and full-grind on her part...inches away from my face in fact ($15/song). This club has a strictly no-touch policy though..."you touch and you go...no three strikes...your first strike will get you tossed" as the DJ said over and over and over. The girls that were dancing here got a ton of tips at the stage railing though, and they rewarded the givers of those tips with quite a personalized show with much topless contact on their part. The dancers were all in their 20s or younger, and they were all natural (one girl's huge, natural breasts were amazing)...I would suggest sitting back for a bit and enjoying the view first from the back of the club, then burn some singles as "if you're not tippin'...they're not strippin'" as the DJ said over and over. The music was good...mostly rock and metal though. There are apparently a lot of Red Sox fans here...either that or they make the dancers wear Rec Sox attire...weird. The dancers that I saw were all white, and I think the dancers on their website are all white too.

I would definitely NOT travel all the way to this club (it's about equidistant between Burlington, VT and Concord, NH...about an hour's drive either way), but if you are in the upper CT River Valley or just passing through...you should give them a try. I will likely not return to this club though. You can always bowl a few strings or see a cover band at the other bar though...very, very weird...but true. Don't listen to the hype about this club being closed or burned down...neither is the case. It's one of only two known strip clubs in VT.


Vermont has smoke-free bars, which is a good thing. The entrance is just off a bowling alley. Cover was $5 and beer special was less than $4 (something Canadian--I forget). The website correctly indicated who would be dancing that night. Talent was pretty hot--all were young and in nice shape. You can sit at the tip rail and burn singles or you can sit back away from the rail and enjoy the view. The private dances are $15 but it's hands off and it does not involve an intense grind, though YMMV. Overall, Hardbodies is a pleasant place to enjoy a beer and friendly company in the upper valley.