the ultimate strip club list

October 7, 2008  •  Vol. 15, Issue 280

This is another dump in the downtown area of St. Hyacinthe at 390 Saint Simon Street (near the corner of St. Antoine near one of the main downtown squares - 450-774-4430) to avoid at all costs IMO. Good luck finding someone that speaks English here, and the gals that are here have needed to give up stripping for decades now! They are fat and/or old & tired looking. There was no cover charge to get into the place, and I never got a dance with anyone...but apparently "extras" can be had here as well. Good luck with your ugly MILF fetish if you do go here...otherwise stay away!!!

It's hard to rate all the downtown clubs in this sad town fairly, since they all suck. This place is a small, rectangular room with a main stage (that was never used while I was there) in the middle of the room, a bar area at the far side of the room as you enter, and some seating areas along either side of the stage. The bathroom is at the far back, right-hand side of the club...no locks on any of the doors though. Drinks started at around $5, if you know how to order in French. The bar had a few gambling machines and a jukebox that was the only music source. There was what appeared to be an upstairs, enclosed smoking area for the ladies that worked there. I couldn't bring myself to get a dance here...I just drank my l'eau (water) and left.

St. Hyacinthe is officially where all the old Montreal strippers go to die apparently. I'll never return to this club, ever. Instead of wasting your time at ANY of the downtown clubs, just go to the Zipper instead...please...see below...

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This is by far the nicest club in town. It's located just north of the intersection of Rtes 137 & 224 in the SE corner of town. The cover charge is $5, and the drinks start out at that price as well & are quite large for the price. The LDs were $15/song and were full, two-way contact...topless only though & no "extras". The French Canadian girls were all young and pretty, and they got all-nude on-stage during what appeared to be a 2-song set. There was a bit of a language barrier with some of the girls (lack of English), but all were very friendly.

I would easily pick this place alone if ever in the immediate area, but it's not worth a long drive IMO. The club is quite large and bright. You enter near the main bar area on the left, near where the one pool table is along with the dancer's dressing room. The club expands out to the right across the main seating area with the large, oval stage in the middle of this area. On the far right side of the club is the bathroom area, the gambling machine area, the LD area, and a small back bar. The club is couples friendly and very clean. The dancers were all-white and ranged from a 6-9 in my book. The hustle factor was pretty low.

The LD area was easily one of the nicest that I've ever been in...the seats were almost "fighter plane quality" with their fit. The LD area was a series of cubicles that was occasionally patrolled by some bouncers. There are no "extras" to be found here...too many bouncers checking up on things...but the LDs were well worth it IMO. THIS is the place to go when in the area, but I wouldn't drive a long ways out of the way to get here though...stick closer to Montreal. The music was a tad loud from the DJ (who spoke exclusively in French), but it was tolerable. I probably wouldn't ever come back to this club in the future due to it's being so far out of the way.


This club is located west of L'Amazone and L'Entre-Nous along the same street. To get to Rue Des Cascades in St. Hyacinthe, I came down Rte 116 East from Rte 227 North. You can also hook up with Rte 116 from Rte 233 and 231 going north from Autoroute 10. St. Hyacinthe is also pretty close (just south of) Autoroute 20. Once you link up with Rue Des Cascades, the defunct L'Amazone is to your left and the other two clubs mentioned here will be to your right. Parking will be difficult to find as this is a tight downtown business district...watch out for timed parking spaces during the daytime.

Les Belles De Nuit is pretty much a train wreck in progress. It's a very small, kind-of triangular shaped club with a bar area in the middle of the club and an elevated private dance, curtained-off area over in one of the corners. To the right of the private dance area is the dancer's dressing room and the one bathroom, which I didn't use while I was there recently. The two other corners of the room contain - the main stage (where no one was dancing) and jukebox...and an area with gambling machines. There was some porn playing on a few TV screens in the club. The dancers here were mostly either old, fat, or homely looking (or, unfortunately, all of the above). The bartender and what looked to be the only waitress were infinitely more hot than any one of the dancers. There was no cover charge, and the full, mutal contact private dances were $20/song. Drinks started at around $5 Canadian. The one dancer that I enjoyed briefly in private hinted that there was more "extra" stuff on the menu, but I got the general impression that that kind of stuff wasn't allowed in the club. This club had the feel of a local bar that just happened to have scantily-clad women in it. It is a club that you should definitely put on your avoid-at-all-cost list...there is no reason to spend the time driving up there to see what I saw. They had a Halloween party (with some catered food even) here very recently, but the atmosphere was so foul (including the dancers) that I didn't hang around very long. I just finished my drink and left shaking my head. You'll definitely run into some obsticles in this town if you don't speak French.

This club is located in between the defunct L'Amazone and Les Belles De Nuit on the same street (see my review, along with directions, of the latter elsewhere on this website). This club is marked very generically on the outside...I don't even think the actual name of the club is mentioned anywhere outside. Parking is an issue as this is a downtown area in St. Hyacinthe with limited, timed parking spaces available.

The club is roughly rectangular in shape and isn't very large. It contains (from the right side of the club and going clockwise)...a long, mirrored bar, a seating area right next to the club entrance, some rooms/offices for the club staff, the main stage area (where I saw no dancing going on while I was there briefly recently) with two private dance cubicle areas on either side of it, the back exit to the club, and a pool table area (which was where the extremely small and filthy bathrooms were located). The porno that was playing on some of the TV screens was more entertaining than some of the other available action in the club.

The dancers here were either old, had ugly, worn-out faces, or they didn't speak any English. There was no cover charge, and the drinks started at around $5 Canadian. The full-contact, mutual touch private dances were around $20/song, and I was told that some of the dancers would go somewhere with you "after their shift was over for whatever you wanted"...my dancer's English wasn't very good. This is another club to pretty much avoid like the plague IMO. There were some staff wandering around, but I saw no bouncer when I was there on a weeknight recently.

This club is not worth the trip from the States, Quebec City, or Montreal IMO. I would definitely not return to this club in the future.