the ultimate strip club list

October 15, 2008  •  Vol. 15, Issue 288

Was in Portland on business and decided on the cabaret even though the tuscl reviews weren't overly great. Place is a little rundown and the first few dancers on stage were heavy and not all that attractive. I almost left but then a few thin, young hotties appeared. 3 Stages and they rotate through them - kind of a strange tipping scene. Guys just seem to throw $$ up there and the girl may or may not show any pink (it is a nude club). I finally got talked into a VIP dance from a great chick (can't remember her name). She showed plenty of pink and gave a great grind. Barstaff was friendly. Only downsides 1) DJ was obnoxious and music was way too loud. 2) VIP area pretty much out in the open with no privacy. The girls vary greatly on extra mileage so choose wisely. 3) Kinda funny neighborhood with No parking. Used the gas station across the street for $5. As always, your mileage may vary.

Went here during Fleet Week. This place is small but has 3 stages. They do push for the 2 drink minimum. There is no vip room and the private dance area is very open. The bouncer stands near to make sure there is no touching, but the dancers can grind and get as close as they want. No limits on their part. It was a little crowded when I went but it was because of the ships. I will go back here again. I had a great time.

For the number of clubs in Portland, I find it amazing that none of them are on the top forty list. I have two theories for this. The first is that the average Portlander, given so much variety to choose from, is pickier than average. So long as they tip, all good. My second theory is that every club can be hot or miss, every patron will have a bad night occassionally. The only thing you can rely on with these reviews is the general feeling of the place. Your mileage WILL vary.

The Cabaret was incredible on the fifth of April. There was a great selection of dancers, fast wait staff, cheap drinks... But of course, you're here to read about those dancers.

Overall, it was a wide variety of body types, though I didn't see anyone with large tits. All were in pretty good shape, ranging from the muscular, lithe gymnist type to the active, curvier (but that's not a euphamism for fat) chick. The bouncers, like at many places are willing to let the women do whatever they want. So dress well, shave, be polite, and tip well. You might make put like I did with a very hot dancer giving me a full contact lap dance. Nothing in the world like being showered with that attention!

Have a good time!

I was in there about a month back. It was probably like my 3rd time in there. Pretty nice looking club for a Portland strip club. 3 stages and ones a cage.It was kind of loud but then again, I was not paying too close attention to the music. It was a weeknite and relatively busy. Mostly the girls were pretty average with a couple of really hot ones. I noticed the table dance area was kind of busy. I tried a dance a really hot brunette. Pretty nice dance for a 21 and over club. Not quite Las Vegas style but pretty good for Portland.

The Good: Service
The Bad: Having to run the gauntlet of speeding cars and drug addicts looking to fund their next high to get in, Layout, Seating

This is an oddly laid out, uncomfortable club. It's hard to find a good seat, and even harder to find one where you have a view that doesn't involve lower back pain, neck strain, or getting your set kicked every ten minutes.

Most nights, there's a couple of average, non mutilated women working, but for the most part, the dancers are mostly the same types of folks that staple their eyebrows and hack themselves up with pens who dance at The Magic Garden or at the ready for retirement showcase at Mary's.

With similar venues like the ones I mentioned within a short walk, there's really not much to recommend this place over anywhere else downtown, unless you really fancy a particular dancer.

As usual with pdx clubs, private dances aren't private and don't involve any dancing. If you really need to burn your cash that badly, donate it to one of the dozen or two homeless shelters within 2 blocks of the building.

This club was not that just ok. The bartender was great, good drinks. There's really no space in here to strech out and relax with your friends. The Girls, well, the night I was there, there was one ugly girl, one girl with bad stretch marks, and a couple of just ok girls. I've been to worse but not much worse. I guess it was ok but I just didn't enjoy my self here. Oh and parking is impossible.

first time at this club, have been to quite a few in portland area but was not too impressed. this club though is very different the girls there are great lots of 8 &9 and a few 10. The new Bartender is fantastic the best I have ever seen she should be danceing she is 10. Drinks are on the average. DJ also good. Had a great time and good converstaion friendly girls. Best girl there by far she is like an Egyptian Goddess is Jazz what a charmer beyond 10. looks like supermodle only friendly. Great body with real breasts must work out constantly a real knockout. Had a few private dances 20 ea typical portland distance but couldn't believe that this was real too beaufitul to be true. Had great time good company and conversation will return again and again

I've been impressed by this newer club. It's not in the best location, right on W Burnside & 5th, because you end up parking in Old Town with a lot of homeless people hanging around. But once inside, you'll find 2 stages and a cage stage, and girls doing 2-song sets. The girls are typical for Portland, 5's - 8's, but I've had some pretty good private dances here (much better than typical for Portland). You can sometimes find a free coupon for entry in the Exotic magazine.