the ultimate strip club list

October 7, 2008  •  Vol. 15, Issue 280

I was visiting this club after more than 10 years. The price of admission also gives you a drink and ticket for a free lap dance. Early in the afternoon, there were just two of us. So we got the attention of 5-6 girls. Felt good! Though slow, two of them gave me great company. I waited to see the experience of the other guy's lap dance. He had great luck with a person. So I went for it. I liked it so much that I had lap dances for 10 songs. The lap dances were wonderful. Worth my money. I returned a very satsfied man!!

The only drawback with this club is that it is middle of nowhere and a long hike from Kansas City and St. Louis.

Will go back again.


I would strongly recommend this place.

I have visited this club several times in the last few years. It's always a fun visit. The cover is $30 for VIP access. They have two other, cheaper options, but they aren't worth it, since you don't get access to the VIP room where you can get full-contact with the girls.

The club is not dirty, but not exactly clean either - it's about what you would expect for a joint like this.

In my visits, I have had varying experiences with different girls in the VIP. I have had two dances that I can think of that weren't worth the $20 I paid for them, but every other dance I've had has been worth it. Most of the girls will let you suck tit, and some of them will even stick their bare pussy on your face for you to lick. (Not sure if that's a good idea though!)

Several of the girls will use their hands on your cock through your pants, and some of them will even put their hands down your pants and jack you (I like that!).

But, as loose as some of them seem, only once have I ever gotten the fabled BJ. And it wasn't until after she was done, that she asked for the extra $100 tip! That dancer no longer works at the club...

All in all, I enjoy this club, and will return - several times, I'm sure!

Visited Dream Girls (formerly Fantasy Ranch) late Saturday afternoon, July 5th. Same location a few miles east of Pittsville on Hwy 50. Day shift works until 8PM. Six dancers working.

Same layout as Million Dollar FR with addition of new carpeting and two bed dance rooms about the size and shape of a handicapped bathroom stall. Still a no-alcohol nude dancer juice bar. Same pricing - entrance fee is $15 no touch table dance option and $30 VIP two-way touch with access to enclosed VIP and bed dance areas. Latter price also includes free drinks and a ticket good for a 2 for 1 lap with the first dancer you select. Bed dances are $40 per song with TWO options: thong on & two way touch as in VIP OR completely nude (no thong) with dancer to patron contact only (you can't touch the dancer).

Overall, this was one of the BEST experiences I've had in recent memory. I felt like a valued customer from the moment I walked in. Granted there were very few other customers and maybe only one or two other VIP customers, nevertheless, I was made to feel special. One dancer sat with me and explained the dance options and pricing in a straightforward manner without trying to up sell. In fact except for a few casual queries "Are you ready for a dance?" none of the dancers pushed for dances. For all the VIP and bed dances I got I initiated the request with the selected and very receptive dancer. Never once did I hear the words "dancer drinks" mentioned. When I needed a soft drink refill I was promptly served by one of the nearby dancers.

Some specifics: Day shift dancers work a small mid-chest high one-pole stage between the bar and restrooms. Maybe a little larger than a billiard table. Seating around the stage in metal chairs but the view is up close and personal. A couple dancers had mildly grumbled about having to work that afternoon but you'd never know it from their stage performances. Every dancer played to each of the men seated around the stage. Dances were sensuous and meant to arouse interest; definitely not mechanical. Dancers made good eye contact and facial expressions matched sensuous dance movements. Tips bought a booby face rub. I dislike this and do not find it arousing at all. I mentioned this and all the dancers quickly switched to giving me cheek kisses (not quick pecks) and warm hugs. Rather than performing a set routine most dancers gave each man many up close and personal views of their assets. AND they were very responsive to politely put special requests.

The dancers: None were knock-out 10s. One was zaftig but well-built. The others are best described as attractive girl-next-door types. Most of the dancers smiled and flirted. The three I talked to all came across as pretty down to earth. None faked innocence nor were they overly revealing about their personal lives. I'm very skeptical but I did not hear any stripper shit. All were a delight to talk with.

The dances: I got VIP and bed dances from two young ladies. VIP has mini-partitions separating adjoining couch areas but couples across from you are easily visible. Padded couches are comfortable only sitting up -- no cushions to give support to slouch forward.

First up - Destiny, a long-haired brunette with beautifully shaped apple-sized breasts and a matching well-shaped ass. A girl who looks as good from the front as from the back. She's not yet 19 and her sexual inexperience shows, but damn this girl gets an A+ for trying to please. We talked about her touch boundaries which she easily described but she had a difficult time saying how she LIKED to be touched. Very intent on pleasing me, especially since I told her our two-for-one VIPs were an audition for a bed dance. She listened to what I liked and worked in all my preferences during the two dances. I got ear licks and nibbles, kisses on the neck, and what could only be described as a deep french kiss tongue in ear experience. Nothing mechanical or hesitant about her grind, clearly meant to satisfy. With a little more sexual experience outside the club she could be a real lap dance hottie. Her two bed dances were equal to her VIP performance and she even continued the action between songs.

BUYER ALERT: You must pay for each bed dance BEFORE getting it. So if you find the perfect fantasy girl pay for as many bed dances up front so as not to be interrupted by management. Bed dances take place in rooms across from the entrance. They are semi-private with three solid walls and a beaded curtain across the front entrance so management can keep an eye on the action. No one interrupted us except to ask for $$.

By now I was nearly out of funds and almost out of time. Never done this before -- used the ATM to get more cash. BUYER ALERT - Besides charging an outrageous 10% fee the transaction shows up on your bank statement as "Million Dollar ATM" with their complete address. If you have an SO at home bring all the funds you need in with you.

The second lap dancer was Phoenix, a long-haired dirty blond with beautifully shaped small suckable tits and a real fine ass. With her pale white skin and round face she looks all the HS senior but her talk and actions say she's way beyond that. She easily described what she liked: loves her nipples nibbled and sucked ("I'm lactating so you might taste something sweet") and "am a back rub pig." Gotta love a girl like that. Phoenix also went out of her way to please and genuinely let me know she liked my nipple play and back rub and nail rakes. We settled in the bed dance room after the song had started. Instead of sitting and chatting until the next song Phoenix pushed me back on the bed, raised the front of my pullover shirt and gave each of my nipples a long nibble and suck. Then I got a great two way bed dance all for the price of one song! Can't beat service like that.

YMMV as I don't know how a busier night shift might be. With gas near $4 per gallon the travel distance is no small deal but if nights are anywhere as good as days it's worth it. Yes those $40 bed dances add up but it sure beats paying champagne room prices to get drunk and not stroked.





This place is unlike most clubs in the kansas city area as they allow contact nude lap dances. Contact is allowed anywhere but under the G-string. Way better bang for your buck than any other clubs in kc area, it is though, a little ways out from downtown, but definitely worth the drive, only about 25 minutes or so. I hadnt been to this club for over 5 yrs and now I am sorry i havent been there more often. The dancers are friendly, sexy, and really know how to please. No alcohol allowed, which probably isnt a bad thing. If you go there spend the extra money and get one of the new "bed dances".....very much worth it.

This was only my 2nd visit, and it's been 3 years since the 1st, and I have to say that this place is amazing both for the quality and quantity of lovely young women they manage to recruit. 2 of them working on this night deserve particular mention. "Jody" is barely old enough to work here, but she is perfect...all of her, face, ass, titties, fun attitude...everything. She's the epitome of both cute and sexy. The other one I was smitten by is a goth looking chick whose name ("Ava" maybe) sadly escapes me, but I found her even more sexy and exciting. I enjoyed nude bed dances with both of them. I've been to better clubs, but this one is well worth the price of admission, and I highly recommend it to anyone who digs looking at naked young women.

this was my first time at the ranch, got there late afternoon,only one other person was there, paid $30 vip cover apon entry,vip get you $20 couch dances,very nice and clean with a nice vibe
there were 5 or 6 dancers working, all were above average in my book,partook in 5 or 6 privite dances, the firsr two girls were kinda lack luster, but the other two were very good,lots of contact,and both were very sexy, overall it was a very good time, will deff. be heading back to the ranch

Had not visited this club in a while. I had only gone to it two at the new location, which is a few miles from the old location. The club has improved since my last visit. Girls are more relaxed and the atomosphere is more like it was back a few years ago. It is hard to figure out the best night to go since they have a pretty high dollar cover to get into VIP but one of the other reviewers explained that well. Not as much hot contact in the VIP as in the old days but still good with the right dancers.

The Fantasy Ranch has two options most of the time. $15 entry with no touch dances in the main area of the club. The $30 option allows you to go into the VIP area for the hands-on lapdances which get sizzling hot. The drinks are included (juice bar). No matter when you go into the VIP area (any day or night), lapdances run $20 each. However, I believe during the day shift you get a ticket for a free dance when you buy the VIP package.
They do have special Wednesday's called "Taco Night" with all the tacos you can eat. The cover charge is $10 which includes two drinks and FREE VIP entry.
Thursday night is $10 cover with two drinks included, all the pizza you can eat, and FREE VIP entry. Of course, they call this night "Pizza Night."
They do have a lot of hot ladies at night like Lexus. If you go during the day the top lady is Kinky Kara.
This club has dropped the Million Dollar out of its name. It merely goes by the Fantasy Ranch now.

This is a fun club. It is very easy to find. It's just on highway 50 and there is a huge sign with white lights around it. By the way, they've changed the name to 'Your Fantasy Ranch', it looks like.

The cost to get in varies by a lot, depending on what day you go. It is quite confusing to read the website. They have cover charge, 'drink fees', and VIP. It would be a lot nicer if they would just lump all that stuff into one cover charge. The best time to go the club is on Wednesdays or Thursdays. The total amount you pay to get in is $6. Monday and Tuesday are more expensive--$15 or $20 if I remember right. Friday, Saturday and Sunday are the worst days--Almost $40 when you add everything up!

There are two stages in the club. A small one which is used during the day or on slower nights like Monday and Tuesday, and a really big long one for when the club is packed. The big stage has two poles on it and they will have two girls stripping on the stage at once, usually.

All the girls are very good looking, I think. I've never turned one down when they ask if I want a lapdance. They have a good mix of bodies, too. There's some very busty girls, slender wispy girls, girls with big asses, long legs, etc. I like them all. The only kind of girl I haven't seen here is a girl with huge tits that are natural.

The attitudes of the girls is kind of a wide range. There are a few who are a bit pissy, in my opinion. They won't respond at all when tipped on stage and will just sit in the corner of the club texting on their cell phones when they aren't on stage. Most are friendly, though, and will give a good response when you put a dollar or two on the stage.

Dances are $20. As I'm sure has been mentioned in a lot of the reviews already, you can touch the girls boobs, butt etc during the lapdances. This makes it a lot of fun. I actually don't touch them until they tell me I can, though. On Wednesdays and Thursdays, every half hour or hour they do a 2-for-1 dance, which is another reason why those are the best days to go.

I've never been here during the day, so I can't say what the day-girls are like. I do plan to check that out sometime soon though.

Nice club, pop and juice only. Live DJ played good tunes. Dancers average to above average. It had a large long stage with two poles. Its $10 to get in and then you have to pay $30 for a VIP wrist band or $15 for the standard band, dont waste your money on the cheep band. Make sure to get a pass so you only have to buy a wrist band next visit. The no touch dances I had were good. I had a good time and I'll probably be back.

I was driving from Kansas City to St. Louis on 26 Dec, so I stopped in at MDFR. This place is incredible! The official address is: 1117 NW 475 Road, Centerview MO 64019. What you need to know is this: It is located on Hwy 50, between Lee's Summit and Warrensburg. Hwy 50 is about 20 miles south of I-70. The MDFR has a very interesting (and unique) pricing policy:
- First you pay the cover charge (no cover during the day, but you will pay $10 after 7:30 pm)
- Then you buy your bracelet. Fifteen bucks will get you a "no touch" bracelet. For thirty bucks, you can get a "full contact" bracelet, which means you can touch her everywhere except the kitty.
- Then you buy your dances. The dances are approx $15 to $20 per song.

As you can see, the dollars can add up pretty quickly, to a fairly large sum. If you want to put your hands on some ladies, and you are not afraid to spend a rather large amount of money, then this place is for you. If you just want to look at naked pussy, then I would suggest that you stay in KC, and go to Bazookas.

MDFR is open every day of the week. Monday thru Thursday, the hours are 1400-0130. On Fri/Sat, they are open 1200-0400. Sunday hours are 1700-0100.



The name is appropriate because for a juice bar you can go through a lot of money. That being said, this can be a very entertaining place. It is total nude and most girls on stage know what you came to see and are willing to show you. At night the girls are for the most part total knockouts. But crowds can get big, so if you want some time in the VIP with a popular one, be ready to shell out some bucks. The rules are a lot less stringent than most clubs in the KC area so you can have a good time. In the daytime, the girls can really vary from awesome to aweful...but with the right girls at the right time you can get far more than you might have thought possible. The place is loud and not in the greatest condition, but is for the most part comfortable and safe. For the most part the staff is okay and girls can be incredibly pushy at times. But for the most part, this is one of the two best places to enjoy naked ladies in KC.

Well worth the drive, the Million Dollar Fantasy Ranch is still the highest mileage club in the KC area. I have never been disappointed in dozens of visits to the Ranch. Full contact, hands on dances are an endangered species in Missouri, thanks to our right-wing Republican legislature and governor, so get them while they are hot, and I do mean HOT! Frankly, if you don't blow more than a wad of money here, you need to see a doctor...

I won't name names, but to that certain large-breasted blonde, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for fulfilling my 'million dollar fantasy', and all for the low price of a couple of lap dances! Next time, when I say you need to slow down... keep grinding like mad just like you did the other night! WOW@!

I've been to the Million Dollar Fantasy Ranch a couple times. It's a bit of a drive from KC, but the "hands on" dances are fun!

It seems like most of the time, the dancers dance on the small table, but when the club gets busier (Wednesday and Saturday night, from what I gather) they dance on the large table.

As with most of the clubs I've been to in the KC area, the dancers vary wildly in their attractiveness and in the "mileage" of the dance. I myself enjoy the slower, more intimate dance, rather than the grind, grind, grind type dance, and I found a few dancers with whom I was very happy!

Went to the Ranch on a Tuesday afternoon, pretty slow day as this club is out in the middle of no where, about an hour drive from Kansas City. Had a couple of private dances from several dancers, went from luke warm to hot, ymmv. The private room is not so private, but given the right dancer it can get pretty freindly. My atf is and busty blonde named Angel (her real name i"m sure), great body with enchanced upper chest. Overall my experience was a good one, but not sure the drive is worth the effort.

This is a Great club. A strip club hobbyist dream, depending on your goals of the night. If your goal of a night is to just sit at a stage and examine tons of hot women and never get any one on one time, you will find this place good and satisfactory but not extraordinary and blowing you away. If you just want to sit and feed dollars and gawk, go to Bazookas downtown KC or Satin Dolls or Bonita Flats in KCKS. Come to the Ranch, if you are looking for some one-on-one time with a cute girl(s). The Ranch girls are friendly, the LapDances are very very good. The girls are like home cookin. The girls will make you feel special and listen to you and give you good loveydovey TLC. Its a great place to go pick up the pieces after a breakup in real life. And the girls are Very good looking. Its not Bazookas in terms of the vast number of Hot chicks milling around, but Bazookas, while enjoyable too, is alot more business like. The Fantasy Ranch isnt that aloof detachment you see at some strip clubs in the girls. The girls at the Ranch are GFE.. ie... like dating a cute girlfriend in high school or college. Its definitely a great place. Its worth the drive - come on wednesday night , if not the weekend - its FREE cover all the way into the VIP and they have Appetizers. No Alcohol is drank inside the club. Which is why you do what you do at Arrowhead: Tailgate.

Great club. Whomever designed this place is a pro, and should be congratulated. I went in on a Saturday night and everyone from the dude collecting the cover to the waitresses to the bar maids to the "entertainers" were happy to see me. There were plenty of ladies working and the quality was well above-average. They have a interesting concept concedfrning private dances and drinks. At the highest level of participationIf you pay $30 for a brightly colored wrist band, your lap dances are all full-contact and your drinks (non-alchoholic) are free. Another interesting concept is the shower stall, not for the dancers to crawl all over one another, but for a dancer to crawl all over a patron (he wears a pair of boxers with the fly sewn up) ($60). Everyone in the place stopped what they were doing and watched while one of the ladies did gymnastics on this dude's frame while he enjoyed every second of it. I'll try that myself one of these days. What I did try was three of those full contact lap dances in the private area with an amzing little curley-haired baby doll. She treated me like a GOD. I had a great time and I'll be back to see her and her friends soon. You should go see this place for yourself.

Stopped by on a recent trip to KC and WOW. The place screams dive when you see it in the middle of no where and the clubs interior does nothing to change you view. However, the ladies will change that view in a few seconds. The girls were all between 7 and 9s. Very friendly and not swarming you for dances. On to the dances. They are hands on and will rock your world. I have been to clubs all over the US and with the exception of Tampa nothing else compares. Do yourself a favor and make the drive. You will not be dissapointed.

I recently returned to this club to discover it had turned to shit. In early January it was expensive, but the contact in the VIP area made up for it. As another member mentioned, the management must have changed the girls have moved on and I can't believe it will survive long like this. the 20 miles or so from kansas city is a little deceiving, if your in KC stay in town or head west to Lawrence

This once was my favorite club in the country. It's about 30 minutes from Kansas City (East on 50). Moved to a new location about 5 years ago. In the past you paid $25 for a VIP pass which gave you free drinks (no alcohol) and admission to the VIP area - small couches that are pretty private. The deal used to be that you could touch, kiss, suck, etc. anything that wasn't covered which generally meant only the pubic area and even then the girls would often make that available. However I was there a few months ago and with a new management, new rules. Basically eveything still applies except that the VIP dances are lame, pretty much no touching allowed anywhere, brush the breast maybe and nothing extra. I danced with 3 dancers and there were pretty much the same, I finally asked since none of the old dancers were around and was told that none of the old things were allowed anymore. What a shame, this was a hidden gem.

While you can't enjoy an alcoholic drink, I guarantee you that you will enjoy the full contact lap dances! You can touch all but the "most sensitive part" of the ladies as they do a full contact grind on your lap. You had better have damn good stamina, or risk blowing your wad from the vigorous graning these girls give. A night at the MDFR is about the best way to have safe sex short of not having ANY sexual contact! One lady told me to go to the john and put a condom on, as she was going to make me cum or she was going to die trying! Three songs later she was huffing and puffing, and I was about to explode... If I hadn't run out of money, I have a feeling she would have died trying!

There are usually around a dozen or more girls on the slow nights, and even more on the weekends. Warrensburg is a college town, so there are usually quite a few really nice young ladies there. Sure, there is a high cover charge (depends on the time of day and day of the week...), but the cover includes non-alcoholic drinks and one hell of a stage show. Sometimes they have three or four girls on stage having one hell of a good time.

All I can say is a lot of guys make the hour drive from KC rather than hit the rap-heavy clubs. What is it about the most clubs thinking that a bunch of middle-aged white guys want to listen to hard-core rap and hip-hop? Bring on some good old time rock and roll like they do at the MDFR! I'd give it a ten, but a club would have to allow full-penetration dances... and as far as any club I have been to, the MDFR comes the closest this side of Amsterdam!

This is a large nonalcoholic club. Nice stage, lighting, seating. Upon paying the entrance fee you are given a wrist band which allows re-entry, and there is an alcoholic bar just 50 feet away.

Had a great time Friday, 1-2 pm. Five girls working the stage. Two customers - one at the bar and then me at the stage. So I got plenty of attention. Every girl was pretty, with a good figure. Four of them five were young, in their late teens or early twenties. I would rate all girls in the 7-8 range.

With only one customer at the stage you might expect some bad/indifferent attitude, but every girl was friendly and entertaining. Each one kidded around with me a bit during her act. Each girl danced two songs. Completely nude by the end of the first song. They all rubbed their tits in my face during the first song and showed off their pussies during the second song. Delightful. Since I was the only customer, I was a bit more generous than usual, with multiple $1 tips for each girl.

By getting there early, I avoided any cover charge, but I had to pay $9 for a soft drink. This allowed me to look at, but not touch, the girls dancing on stage. This fee does not allow for lap dances. For another $6 I could buy topless lap dances for $10 each, where the girl can touch me but I can't touch her. And for yet another $10 I could buy totally nude private lap dances at $20 each, and be allowed to touch everywhere except the crotch.

A rather complicated formula - but it all works out to give us guys some choices. I opted for the cheapo stage-dance-only, and stayed just one hour. I was favorably impressed, and plan to go back when it is busier, and I will have to compete with other guys for the girls attention, and will spend a lot more money.

The place is out in the country, about 14 miles west of Warrensburg on Highway 50.