the ultimate strip club list

October 15, 2008  •  Vol. 15, Issue 288

Stopped in the other night and was impressed with how nice the club is. I was the only white guy in the place and for many of the dancers this seemed to be an oddity as everyone paid special attention to me including the dancers and the bar staff. On a personal note I felt very comfortable and the dancers and other patrons were cool with the white guy having a good time. Now on to the dancers some were great looking others just ok some downright ugly. The cool thing is they have a body type for everyone. The dances are normal high mileage 8 mile dances. Stage tipping worked very well if you wanted to get some attention. The prices are as advertised and the layout is as expected. I only stayed about an hour or so and then I was off on my quest to see every Detroit area club.

Well it looks like I'm the only one reviewing this club. I'll have to start checking out some other clubs, but then again, when you find someplace that is right why not stay.
This club does have a "happy hour" (before 6pm). the beer is only $4.00. Then it goes up to almost $7.00. I think there is a cost for the booths after 6 pm also.
Now the dances are preformed in some booths in the back (the VIP area?), and they cost $20.00. I think they also have $10.00 dances in the open area. I've been lucky enough to get some dancers that must have stick shifting cars, because they're really good at what they do. Some even like to get a close up view of the stick.
The dances always leave me with a smile. This club also never seems to be super crowded like All Stars.

Well it had been over a month since I was lasst here. My favorite was here and came over right away. needless to say we ended up in the VIP booths. Both of use were exploring with are hands, and there was mutual free roaming. This woman knows how to work her body (and hands). I've only had dances from three different dancers and two out of three wasted no time in....how shall I say it...getting into the pants. Yes I'll be back.

This club is upscale and somewhat expensive. The girls can make you drain your wallet, but you will leave happy. There seems to be only $20 dances, but they are very private. There is a great mix of women.

This a great club. IT was renovated about a year ago. Nice decor, nice bar with alot of glass. They have alot of benches and tables to sit at. The stage is nice and long in the center of the club. The VIP section is on the side and very secluded. I've had some great VIP dances there. The girls there range from 7-9s, all kinds and there are a few knockouts. I love the michigan clubs cause the girls can give real personal VIP dances. 20$ goes a long way

Small and compact with lines of sight on the stage. Stopped in on a recent Friday night and the joint was jummpin.' Always three dancers on stage. Dancers on the thick side, but all ethnic groups are present in the array. Heavy on the dance hustle. Saw a dancer argue with a customer for 2 minutes when he did not buy a dance. The manager had to quiet her down. Good for lively atmosphere, limited mileage, but good noisy feel.

I arrived near the end of the night, the club was busy without much seating. I tipped the bouncer $20 for a booth for the rest of the night. I think he quoted a booth costing $20 and hour or something like that. Beer was $8 and they have a shot girl with test tube sized shots for $10.

The club has the stage in the middle with two poles, individual seats at the stage then booths a little further back surrounding the stage. When you come in the Bar is to the right (were there is a pole on the bar for dancers) the VIP room is to the left and the DJ is strait ahead.

As the time grew closer to 2am the music got louder and during some songs it was almost impossible to order…

One of the downsides of it being so busy I had some major trouble getting the attention of a dancer for a lap dance. When I finally got the attention of this blond she got called onto the stage for the last set of the night… so no lap dance for this trip.

Cheetah's on the strip is a great place to hang out at and I will be back to get a lap dance.


With everything else closed on a Sunday evening in the area, we were forced to go to Cheetah's. While the dancers were rather low quality (the best being a '7,' I must admit that the lack of cover and the reasonably priced drinks were a surprising bonus. There definitely were not enough women there working that evening as most patrons got no personal attention at all, even in the way of asking/begging for private dances. As I did not get a dance, I cannot rate the quality of the dances. Still, I can see myself going back for the reasonable prices and the relatively cheap drinks.

I found myself back in Detroit a few months ago (haven't gotten around to sending this in) and went past Cheetah's to see how it had been rebuilt. My last visit here was back in March of '05 just before it burned down, so I felt I owed it a re-visit....I'm loyal that way.

THE CLUB: 7
Admission was $10, parking $2 or $3 (I don't remember if I tipped or not). I ditched the coat in my car, so I didn't have to bother with the coat check, but I think it was $2....standard stuff. The club has been completely rebuilt, so if you've been here back pre burning...it is NOT the same club. Decor is 'new style' strip club, with lots of clean looking seating in half circle couches, lots of glass, lots of mirrors. I spent some time at the bar while I ate a burger and downed some beers, then asked a bouncer if I could move to a couch (a 'tip' required usually, but it was slow so he waved me on). Comfy enough, but with the couches being a charge and not much else for seating, I could see this getting expensive on a busy night. Fairly bright light throughout. The dance area is seperate(most Detroit places are this way), with a glass wall between the main area and dance area. Bar has stool seating on both sides with a good view of the stage, but almost no potential for dancers to sidle up to you on the one side. 2 or 4 TVs by the bar area just in case you came here to watch the game. Food was on the expensive side, but good...not crappy bar food. Drinks were about $6 or $7 for a beer...again, tipping may have been included.


THE STAGE: 7
Long thin stage, with 2 poles centered right in the middle of the room (Duh!). Not much room for the girls to get creative other than some nice crawling moves. No big surprise but I liked it better at the old club where there was a main and a smaller stage to mix it up. The night I was there, the staff was thin, so they were doing 3 songs. 1 warm up and 2 topless. $1 tip gets you a leg or arm around the head with a pull in to her tits or ass if she feels like it. No one seemed to be getting too creative for a buck.

THE GIRLS: 8
Out of the 7 or so girls there, the lowest quality girl was maybe a 6. No fattys, or freaky chicks, standard long and lean, lots of silicone (about 5 were 'fixed' that way). 2 Black, 3 white and the other 2 were some sort of brown (Latin, Itallian, possibly middle eastern), so a good mix for all. There was one girl who had to have been only 19 to 20 years old. Smokin hottie, perfect un-altered tits. I approched her on stage and she was just as perfect up close but she was pretty busy all night and she didn't seem to have any good moves on stage (no moves on stage=no touchy durring a dance). Not that I blame her seeing as she was fresh out of high school, but I'm all about the dances, so I waved off calling her over. I had 5 dances from 2 other girls.

THE DANCE: 8
As always, the dances in Detroit are second only to Vegas for the amount of mileage you get (I will say YMMV, but it won't....the mileage is good unless you are an ass or completely repulsive). I've often thought about just leaving one morning to drive to Detroit, get about 5 dances and then drive back to Illinois, but I don't think I could explain the missing 15 hours to my wife....or the perfume smell that would still be on me after a 6 hour car ride home.

The first girl to approach me was a thin black chick who I don't remember her name (if I don't write them down that night...I never remember). I had tipped her on stage and she had promise of a good dance, so I indicated that I'd be up for a dance. She came right over and spend a good long time shmoozing me before popping the question....points for not hustling. We moved back after about 3 or 4 songs and sat until the next one started (the songs run the standard 3.5 minutes or so). $20 a dance and I got pretty free reign on where I roamed. I even flicked the been over her panties a few times before getting a pull-back with no scolding, just a 'naughty, naughty' look. She didn't have much in the titty department, but her body was hard as a rock and she knew how to grind that ass. I went for a second go round when she started working on my ears and rubbing my crotch with her hand a bit (right about at the 3.4 minute mark of course). I got a bit braver on my second song and was sucking on her nips without a complaint but got another dirtier look when I went back to her lower regions for a second exploritory search. Still for breaking the rules blatently, I didn't get beat up bad and no bouncer ever looked sideways at me even though one came in about once a song to do a quick check. I walked back to my seat after paying up my $40 (no tip) and got a kiss on the cheek and a 'I'll come back around later'. About 10 minutes later, girl 2 was up on stage.

I tipped girl 2 on stage and she gave me a facefull of her big enhanced cleavage as a thank-you. She then talked me up for about a minute and we both agreed that she should stop by after. She came off her set and proceeded to sit by me topless for a while and as I cozy'd her up with my arm around her shoulder she was caressing the inside of my leg, major points there. She even got up for a second to go get her drink she had left at the bar before going on stage, that clinched the 'no-hustle' feel since the 'buy me a drink' scam is the biggest one at a club. She had pulled up her top by the time she got back and after a few minutes we moved to the back room. We sat for the remainder of the song and she talked it up, but when the music started again she was topless and riding on top of me faster than you could say mmmmmmmffff (whoops that was me trying to talk with her NIPPLE in my mouth almost immediately!) Blond with big fake tittys was nothing new but she had the feel of a long-term stripper. She knew how to move, and where to let you roam. I stayed for a second dance because standing up was going to be a challenge and she didn't seem to mind when I strayed south too much only pulling my hand away when the bouncer made his rounds. Apparently there is supposed to be a no-touch rule in Detroit, but it is not enforced EXCEPT when it appears that a sexual act is happening. Then I guess the book is thrown at the dancer, or this could be crap that a dancer will tell you....who knows?....who cares? She had to go back up because someone else had bailed on a set, but she came back around after her set for another dance (as I requested). She ended up sitting with me after until close (only about 15 minutes later) and gave me a hug when I saw her outside as I waited for my car from the valet. She was in her streets and waiting for her ride...I almost offered her one, but wanted to hold down on the creep factor....damn me for fighting my true nature.

OVERALL: 7
While it lacks the 'Old club' charm of the burned down Cheetahs, it is still one of my favorite spots in Detroit. I was there on a slow night and had a great time without shelling out more than $100 for dances. I suppose it could get more expensive if I had to pay for the couch, but maybe they almost always wave you by. I may re-visit in a few months to do a follow up review(again...Duh!)

SMEGMA!!


I stopped by this club last Saturday night. Not much action going on but there were several dancers working that seemed in the 5-7 range. Ran into one that I knew from the Toy Chest several years ago. Had several dances form her and was not bad.

This is one of the best clubs in the 313. The guys at the door are friendly, the bartenders know how to make just about any drink you can think of. On an average night you will see 20-25 girls who are anywhere from 6-8.5 in looks. For those not from the 313 area the kitchen is open late and daily specials are always good! dances are 20 a song and are in private area.

Stopped in here last week - my third time in the last month. I really like this club. Well layed out, good VIP room, excellent services and generally very attractive dancers - some 6's, mostly 7's and 8's. Had an excellent dance from Amanda.

I stopped in Cheetahs to see a known high mileage stripper that used to VIP at the Trap, but was fired for too much VIP (if you know what I mean) Aside from the big gold penis, which I would have gave a lower rating if I did not end up getting dances and great mileage from my former Trap girl. Drinks were expensive, but the waitstaff is not pushy. You do have to valet park $7.00 at happy hour. The other dancers were 5 - 7s not really any hotties. Not even the one I went to visit. If it was not for the "extra" I would not bother to come back to this club.