the ultimate strip club list

October 12, 2008  •  Vol. 15, Issue 285

Went to Fuego on a recent Friday night. Cover was $10 before 10pm; I presume $20 after. The place is open 8pm - 5am.

I was one of the first in the door. Soon after I sat on a chair in the rear corner, a dancer named Monica came and sat next to me. She had a smoking hot body (due in large part to what I later found out were enhanced tits) and was very personable. Puerto Rican by background, she has been dancing at Fuegos for only a month or so. She explained that she doesn't do stage or chair dances, but only VIP. She explained her prices; before the evening was over I had heard prices from a couple other dancers as well.

Prices fall in this range:
$5-10 for a chair lap dance
$10-15 for a VIP sofa lap dance
$30-40 for a dance in the VIP room, which includes the $10 per song the customer pays to the house after the dance is over but which the dancer just might not tell you about until after you've paid her what you thought was the full cost.

Plus, you must pay $10 for a VIP bracelet to sit on the VIP sofa or have a dance in the VIP room. And the dancer must have a bracelet as well, so you might get pressed to buy that for the dancer.

Are you confused yet? It's almost as bad as that Wall Street shit that's got us in so much trouble right now.

Anyway, after watching a few dancers on the stage I opted for a chair lap from Barbie. She's almost cute, and her dance was almost erotic. Oh well.

I almost decided to get a dance from Red. Watching her give a dance to others, I later realized that skipping her was a mistake. Next time, I'm taking Red to the VIP room.

But my heart was set on Monica, who had been nice to me in the beginning, and who had been giving some very sexy VIP dances to another patron on the sofa behind me. So I got my $10 VIP wrist band, sat on the sofa, and waited for her. When it was my turn, I was in heaven. She pressed against me very nicely and placed my hands in interesting places. We then went off to the VIP room for what was a very intense and pleasurable and ... shall I say climatic? ... topless and almost bottomless dance with lots and lots of contact.

The only drawbacks were:
1) Cost. By the time I had finished, I had blown $100.
2) Hassle. The house staff keep track of how long customers and dancers are in the VIP room, and because Monica and I entered just before one song ended, the bouncer guy tried to make me pay for two songs.

But otherwise it was very good.


I went to fuego on saturday evening but there were only five dancers. Dancers were mostly hispanic even though it was advertised as mixed clubs with few black dancers. I wouldn't recommend going to this place, lap dances are cheap 10 bucks but dancers aren't that great and it is short. There is strictly no touching rule depends on the dancers. There is only one stage with one dancer and it is pretty much a dump. There are no private rooms when I there. Also, it doesn't sell any alcoholic beverages. I would skip this club.

Arrived about 12:45 am expecting the place to close at 2am, but it closed at 3am. I remember this place when it was D2, which was a relative dump but with pretty good mileage. Fuego's has been remodeled with a huge main stage, couches on the side and 3 flat screen tv's. I was pleasantly surprised. The crowd was pretty young and on the hip-hop side. The women were pretty fine in my opinion. The majority of the girls were Hispanic and there were about 3 African-American girls. A few girls were "thick" some were slim and more atheletic and only one or two were overweight. When Spanish Fly came out to dance I almost fell out of my chair looking at her fine ass and smooth natural breasts. Guys sit around the stage and feed ones to the girls. A number of guys "make it rain" with the ones, but since I have to work hard for my dollars I'm not throwing them on stage without getting my moneys worth, and the girls are willing to show the goods. I got a few lap $10 dances from several girls and enjoyed them all, especially the ones from Sole. I didn't go to the VIP area, where I think the dances are $30. My biggest complaints about this place are: no alcohol and very little privacy. Also, this club is in an deserted wharehouse area, and there was a murder in the parking lot when the place was still D2. Therefore, be cautious, but there were no problems with the crowd this night, and I enjoyed this visit.

It was pretty crowded for Sunday after midnight. I stayed until about 2:00am and there were no signs the club was slowing down. Didn't see alcohol but saw a few 7-11 big gulp cups around the room. This is basically a latin club. There was a mix of dancers I saw (some black, one or two white) and more variety in customers, but by and large the environment had a latino flavor.

When I first walked in I had a case of deja vu. When this place was D2 years ago I must have been here. Since those days included heavy doses of alcohol along with a designated driver this could happen more than a few times as I make my way around the area looking for a new spot. I did like the big main stage, and the layout was nice overall. A couple of the girls climbed all the way up the pretty high poles to do tricks. High enough where the show ends badly if they fall. There was couch area down by the far wall in front of the DJ booth, though there were only dancers there and no patrons. The show was more interactive than a lot of places are these days. It's a DC thing, I think, because the laws in an around town are so restrictive that the only way to get some contact from the dancers is to do stage tipping. Notice you don't see any DC reviews in the portfolio from the Wall. It's not that I haven't been to the DC clubs, I just haven't been lately and by choice. Now since this place isn't in the city limits you can get LDs here, and the basic ones are decent for the price ($10 a song in the VIP couches). Think I saw some being dished out in the floor chairs, too. I'll have to differ with the reviewer who said the extra $10 to sit in VIP row wasn't worth it. When I got there I walked in and sat along the back row of seats and tables around the main stage. Because of all the milling around behind me (there are people constantly circulating around the room) it was a little uncomfortable. The VIP seats are backed to the outside wall on a raised platform so you get a better view while having a little more space around you.

Basically, it's all about expectations. When I'm in a tiny club I don't mind people close in, but there is way too much space in Fuego to have everyone crammed into the middle like that. There is a pretty nice bar area against the door wall with a plasma above it, and two plasmas on the other wall with the DJ booth under one and the VIP rooms under the other. The dancer I spoke with said dances there are $40 topless but I didn't try one. This was basically a window shopping trip. One dancer in particular put on a hell of a show and spent most of it flipping around into different low positions (think hands and knees) to get a good angle on the guys tipping her around the stage. It's a 360 degree stage so she basically did some pretty good tumbling from guy to guy during her floor show and it had the most energy of a stage set that I've seen in a while. It didn't hurt that she had the best looks and moves in the place. The girls on the whole were reasonable looking. 5-8 mostly. The rating is on the lowside for the girls because they didn't really mingle, and not just me as an unfamiliar face I mean they just sat around for the most part.

I did see people getting dances so it must work itself out somehow, but it was strange not to see more dancers working the room with a crowd. The one who danced for me caught my eye dancing for the guy at the next table (there are rows of cushioned seats with one table per two seats), and I drew her in with a glance and a smile as she went to speed off. Her dance had a lot of energy and she tried to work in a decent grind too. What I liked in particular about the VIP row is the red lights they have between the seats. It was a nice effect reflecting off her skin as she did a little latin shake in between the grinding. Not everybody is keen on dancers breaking a sweat, but I don't really care and here it definitely enhanced the experience. I left just as they were starting the two girl sets and had seen everything I needed to see. So this is a pretty long review for a club that didn't really make that good of an impression. Didn't help that the staff was not terribly pleasant, but the DJ wasn't annoying and the emcee kept the show moving. It was just ok. Fuego has all the right pieces and parts to be a pretty good club, but they didn't seem to flow together the night I dropped by. The prices are nice for a sample, but I'm not sure this club'll get another chance to impress anytime soon.

Visited Fuego on a Friday night. Learned about this club on Tuscl and decided to check it out. Really looks like a dive on the outside. Got frisked upon entry by a big gorilla and then paid the $10 cover. Large stage in the middle of the room and a smaller stage (not used this evening) in the back. Very unconfortable chairs around the stage and couches along the walls. Absolutely no alcohol served/allowed - only soda, juice, or energy drinks.

Now for the details. I'd rename this club "The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly". The Good - IT'S A STRIP CLUB with admission of only $10. The Bad - the location, overall appearance, and the absolutely obnoxious DJ. The Ugly - most of the dancers. Dancers were mostly Latin or Black and several would tip the scales at over 200. DJ keep repeating over 30 dancers, but you couldn't prove it by me - maybe 20-25. Wouldn't have rated more than three at above a 5, and then only 6 or 7 at best. Rating some a 1 would be a gift.

Dancers performed 3 song sets and got fully nude on stage. Later in the evening they double up on dancers with two on stage at a time. Lap dances were "top on" with minimal touching and no touching the good parts. Only sampled one lap dance from Ariana for $10, given in the chair I was sitting in, and it was minimal contact - largely an air dance. Only really good lapper I observed was April (maybe a 7) and she was in high demand all night.

As bad as everything was, I hated to leave because I felt I might get mugged when I got outside - fortunately there was a cop at the door and another in a car outside. Overall, one of the worst experiences ever in a strip club. Don't think I'll be back.



The description of the club by the previous reviewer is correct. Club opens at 8 PM. Dancers are latina, black and white. Stage is huge and chairs right next to stage for a great view.

Good dances but didn't see any liberties being taken by either the dancers or the patrons.
Some of the dancers didn't appear to be doing lap dances. First dancer, Cuban, charged $10 for a dance and it wasn't as good as the %5 dances from Princess.

Good value for the money and nice atmosphere.

D2 closed a while back; now it's a new club called Fuego. I had heard about it but knew nothing other than where to find it when I pulled up at 7:30pm to find a dozen latino men waiting to get in. Soon they opened; each paid $10 (except for those who had some kind of "VIP" ticket good for free entrance)and was frisked; then me too, and I was in.

The club has been nicely appointed. A big stage dominates the middle, with 2-3 rows of straight-backed chairs around it. The sound was good, but loud. Annoyingly, the DJ rapped along with every song. He made lots of loud announcements, mostly in Spanish, instructing us to "not touch the pudenda." (The sound was too loud to know if that's what he really said.) A warning: don't sit in the couches along the walls if you don't want to fork over another $10. They charge extra for sitting on beat-up couches further away from the stage than the cheap seats!

Soon the first dancer, a Latina, came out; a bit into her first song she whips off her bottoms. Now that's a nice change, since most clubs in PG County let us oogle tits only. She gives me lots of nice views of a completely hair-less pussy and quite nice tits. I stand up at the stage to tip, and she gets up very close to my face, hands on my head, my head on her stomach or chest. Very nice. After 15 minutes or so she departs and out comes a beautiful, shapely African-American dancer. She whisks off her bottoms, then her top. I slide my chair up to the stage and she rolls right over to me. Very nice.

As the evening goes on, more and more guys come in. Soon I count at least 50. Dancers that grab the attention of the deep-pocketed guys come away with dozens of bills each set.

So we're up to the 5th or 6th dancer. No dancer has circulated afterwards to thank patrons; all of the earlier dancers are sitting right outside their dressing room, interacting solely with each other. Do they do laps here? Are the dancers prohibited from mingling? Have I missed some crucial piece of information that the DJ said only in Spanish?

Suddenly the first two dancers get up and start walking with purpose around the stage. One comes up to me and says "want a lap dance?" Alright! "How much?" "Five dollars." ALRIGHT! "Where?" "Right in that chair you're sitting in." Damn.

But it wasn't bad. She rubbed me well, pressing her body all along mine. In fact, it was damn good. "What can I do with my hands?" I ask. "Don't put them *here* (her hands on her clothed pussy) or *here* (her hands on her clothed breasts). Damn.

But still. A full contact lap dance for five dollars! Not bad.

I got a lap dance from a second dancer; not bad.

I watched a slightly overweight but cute (at least to me) dancer on the stage; no one was tipping her. Suddenly the rain of dollars has dried up. I go up to the stage and tip. Soon after she goes off the stage, apparently early and looking disappointed and disappears into the dressing room. Not wanting her to have a bad start to her evening, I ask the DJ (between raps and grunts) to tell her I'd like a lap dance with her. He does, and soon she walks out. "Cheri" (pronounced the Spanish way - "cher - EEE" -- or at least I think; did I say the music was loud?) comes over and eases herself onto my lap, facing me, and proceeds to drag her large, fabric-covered breasts across my face and soon digging in down below, pelvis to a rather hard cock. One song. Two songs. We get a rhythm going and it's feeling very, very good. My hands begin to wander some as she caresses her breasts and gives me a very up-close peek at both nipples. The bouncer walks by and we back off a bit. Soon the rhythm is there again. I reach a peak and we slow down. We have a nice, long, face to chest (breast!) hug. She asks for $10 (I'd paid $5 for the first dance up front. I give her $20. She smiles a huge smile. Nice!

Now I'm home, and I can smell her perfume on my face, where I rubbed it off her chest (breasts!).

Total damage: $52.

Nice!

went here on a Saturday night and the place was dead until about midnight, and even then there weren't a lot of girls or customers. there were probably 6 girls and 20 customers once it got "busy." Nevertheless, 2or 3 of the girls were pretty sexy, and the others were not bad. The girls try to make sure you enjoy the dance and there's plenty of contact. this place is a big wharehouse and they're doing some renovations, like putting a stage in the middle of the room. This is not a classy joint, but with the right girl, you can have a fine time in this place.

I go to this club about 2-4 times a month. I love the place. The owner is one of the friendliest people you can come across. The joint is BYOB or BYOL, but you have to buy a membership for $5 then its just $15/visit. The girls vary on different nights but my favorite is Alize. She is the sexiest woman i've met in quite a while. She will go all out during her lap dances and once she gets to know you...forget about it, you are in heaven. On Friday and Saturday nights, lap dances on the floor are 10 minimum, for a private dance topless its $20, for full nude in private its $30. I suggest the topless to feel your girl out. Sometimes you get a beautiful girl but not much fun in private. So by going topless in private you give her the option to make it good, and you will hook her up with the 10 extra nuggets. Randy is the manager of the club, he is all about business but is very social too. If you want to have a private party he can accomodate, if you want some extra private time with the girls for a party of your friends, he can get that taken care of for you too. My last bachelor party i ran out of ice for the coolers of beers i brought, he had to make an ice run of his own and he bought me some ice at no charge justw for bringing him some business with all my friends.