the ultimate strip club list

September 7, 2008  •  Vol. 15, Issue 250

OK, this place under an older name (Double D's) was a complete and total dump. Terrible layout, dirty and in need of repair, skanky women, etc... No redeeming value -- even cover charge and price of drinks was too high. Have noticed for quite some time that the sign had been replaced -- now called Celestial Bodies. Decided to "take one for the team" and check it out in the interest of research.

Upon entering, was struck by the still terrible layout (more details below). However, lots of cleanup work had taken place. New carpet, furnishings, decorative elements, etc... Much cleaner -- though bathroom could still use a little work. VIP rooms had been redone and are among the better in the area, both privacy and furnishings. Layout is still broken in half by huge stairwell to entrance -- club is on 2nd floor. One side has 2 stages, one fairly large and one small one tucked into back corner. Chairs along stage, but only very few tightly crammed tables near stages. The other half of the club houses bar and most of the tables, but no stage. Sightlines from bar/tables are horrible. Also, there is a "cage" stage tucked behind the stairwell, but it's almost unreachable so I'm not sure how dancers ever get a tip there.

Was told the club was definitely under new management, the same folks who run Visions in New Orleans east. This is a good thing. The dancer quality was greatly improved from the old Double D's -- which doesn't take much. Most of the dancers are apparently from Visions and rotate here. Also, the VIP dance I had was fabulous, easily one of the best ever in NO area.

Normal strip club pricing etc. on drinks, dances, etc... Place has potential if they keep bringing in good women and can get the word out. Need to do some remodeling/rearrangement to use the space better.

Went here last Saturday, and maybe it was the fact that LSU was playing that night, but the place was dead. This is generally the best club in Metairie (dubious praise) but on this particular night there were only 4 dancers and maybe half a dozen customers. Usually you can count on at least a couple of 8's in this club particularly on a weekend night, but not this time. there was only one who rated higher than a 4, and she had a 7 body but a 5 face at best. I'll try this club again because of some good experiences in the past, but if this keeps up it will soon be off my list.

This is a good neighberhood club, reasonably priced drinks and pretty (6-8), friendly (no extras however) dancers. Good place for an afternoon winddown or meeting place for a big night out. But I definitely see it as more of an appetizer than a main course.

My fav. club in New Orleans, always come here when I'm in town for business. Everybody from the GM down to the door girl were very friendly. All the female bartenders were hot and sexy. Clean club and VIP area is well worth it, especially with access to the balcony. Great quality of dancers and they know the pole tricks. 2 stages on the bottom and 1 upstairs in VIP. Lapdances are great, however I hate the new machines that they put in. Reminds me of vending machines and an elementary school game with the green light, red light BS.

This Club was o.k. there was one drunk or high stripper the others looked a little worn down the dancers didn't act like they were having fun with there job the drinks were expensive and it didn't feel comfortable there when my wife and I decided to get closer to the stage the chair I chose just so happened to be soaking wet with what I don't know the dancers would go around to each person around the stage and kind of like ask for money I don't like that if I want to give them money I do but if you ask or make it seem like I have to then I think its rude I know they make their living doing this but their not that good at it maybe one or two there was decent the D.J. was good but he cut a few songs short and the womens bathroom was up a couple of flights of stairs .

After a long, hard night of drinking and enjoying Bourbon St., I decided to end the night at the Hustler. After a $15 cover and a $6 soda (I was done with alcohol) I sat back and watched a beautiful young lady work her magic on stage. She was incredibly hot but not as hot as the young lady who innocently approached and engaged me in some small talk before asking if I would be interested in a private lap dance. I couldn't resist and by the third dance, she had her hand down my pants working for a little extra tip. I only wish I had more time there.

The club was very nice inside. I didn't get to see a lot of women since I got there at the end of the evening but the ones I did see convinced me it's worth another visit the next time I am in town.

Was in town for a couple of nights and of all the clubs on Bourbon St. a decided to try this one out. The women were really gorgeous and that is what makes this club worth it as it gets expensive real quick. Lap dances were $30 but the DJ seemed to pick some very short songs when there was some lap dancing going on. The other problem I had was that the first night, the lady at the entrance charged me $10 for entry and the second night $15. This didn't make much sense as the website says $10, but I think it was because I was pretty drunk (thank you bourbon street) and she was simply taking advantage. I really enjoyed the first night (Sunday) as the ladies didn't pressure me too much for dances and I got to enjoy the show for a good hour and a half. The second night, however I was hassled for dances a bit too often (every 5 minutes it seemed). The ladies do make this club worth it. I would definately go again.

In town for business and stayed right across the street from Flynt's club, so I decided to stop by. I have to admit, the girls were drop dead gorgeous. I'm pretty fussy about my ratings, and there were at least 3 9's and one girl that I'd have to call a 10. Of course, I couldn't get near her the entire night. I don't know if she was busy with locals or VIP, but I never had a chance to flag her down for a dance or 5. That being said, I did get a few dances. There was a blonde honey that I think was named "Maggie Mae" that I kept busy for a few rounds. Solid looks, great personality, and became a robot once she started dancing. I tried to loosen her up a bit, but no go.

Overall, I had a decent time and the girls were hot, but every dance I get left me wanting more. Nice place, but I left disappointed overall.

Funny...I go in this place whenever I am in NO and I never seem to have an amazing night, but I also never have a bad night. The talent is always high 7-10's almost always and if you are into high energy poll dances there are few clubs in the US that are better than here. This was my third stop on last Monday night and I went in the next two nights as well..although Tuesday was to drop off co-workers before heading to see my gal at Scores.

When I got here after some disappointment at Ricks I saw Lexus in the front area...wow, she is a 10 body and a 7 face. I went in sat and asked for her to come see me, she had went upstairs, but they said she would be back down. She did finally appear, but by then I was hooked on Carrie, 18yo Carrie...WOW! The absolute definition of all natural, blonde hardbody. She does some great poll tricks, including upside down push-ups and has the solid muscles to prove it. With her looks, body and personality...a solid 10 in my book! I hung with her all night and then again on Wednesday. I am already looking for the date of my next biz trip to NO!

Overall, the club is sizable and when it gets to crowded on the main lvl ($15 admission) you can add $20 and go up to the 2nd floor. The poll goes all the way from the floor to ceiling and a handfull of the girls use the whole poll. They say no hats at the door, but after I got inside I saw guys with them on, put mine back on and knowone said a word. Dances are $30 a pop and they do have VIP, but I did not try that here. Carrie is new (3 months) to the industry and is not yet ready (although I did not ask/try) to add "extras". With her looks she may never have to either!

Oh, both Lexus and Athena seem to give pretty good dances from what I overheard and are both nice looking girls as well. Athena a little on the skinny side for me though...

This club is right in the French Quarter. This is an immediate prblem with regard to parking. The best bet is to park by the river and walk. Street parking is available but not in the evening.

The club seems rather small but has several floors. It is caracterized by a 27 foot pole that scales several floors. None of the dancers I saw used the pole beyond several feet but I was told that some of the ladies go all the way up. Since the place has a small footprint, the stage is reasonably close.

This club is topless only. The dancers were rather boring and were not really concerned with the show. On the flip side the dancers I saw were very good looking and friendly. This is why I rated the club with a six.

The Bathrooms are accross a courtyard and were not very clean. There is a lapdance area off to the side that seems reasonably private but at 30 dollars a lapdance I chose to pass.

The only positive here is that they do serve alcohol. However I do not drink and the $6 bottle of watter was not wonderful either.

My advice to those that might want a show is to avoid the clubs in New Orleans. They are a not worth the price of admission. If you want to get out of the hustle of the French Quarter go have a Coffee at the Cafe Dumonde.

My 2 brothers arrived on a Sunday night after a hard night of partying on Bourbon St. To the best of my reccolection the place was pretty clean and well set up. It was the third place we had tried and by far the best. There was a cover but it was pretty reasonable if I recall. The dancers were gorgeous and very well put together. I went out back with one fine looking blonde for a dance for I think $20 and it was well worth it.One song was plenty.About an hour later a very sexy dark haired girl had very little trouble coaxing me into the back room on the couch. Price was the same and she allowed me brother to watch as she performed for me and on me. This girl got two dances for $45. Again well worth it. Other things were offered but not taken. I would definately go back. No, I definately will be back

The girl are beautiful and the amutuer nite is amazing !!!!! I went there on my birthday and I really had a good time. I mean as a gurl I had fun n enjoyed myslef a lot in it was really confortable on all level . I might even work there one day myslef I liked it so much!!! It jus want taky it was nice it had confortable chairs n the girls were very attractive on all levels. The girls were friendly n treated me with good respect ,they sat down talked n we joked,I can say they made my first strip club expericene worth whilE!!!!!!!

Went down to NO for a business trip and decided, based on reviews that this club would be a good bet. Paid the $20.00 admission to the upstairs VIP area (otherwise it would have been $10.00) and got a drink. The decor was nice, somewhat upscale. I was a bit disappointed with the selection of dancers - it was a week day (Wed.)and I arrived at 11:00 PM. Most of the dancers were a bit hefty for my liking. I debated about getting a dance at all, but figured I ought to try at least one. An acceptable looking blond with short hair came by and we chatted for a bit (her name was not clear) we did do a $40.00 VIP that was good but not excellent. Maybe I just hit an off night, but after an hour or so I was ready to split and hit the casino.

I was there the afternoon before JazzFest weekend, and things wre pretty quiet. Lifting the $5 cover might help. Everyone was friendly and not too pushy. A very well endowed -- and seemingly all natural -- young African American woman managed to entice me into lapdance without much resistance. Everything was presented right to my face in the lapdance room, with a fair amount of mutual groping. All very pleasant, but at $30 each not something I would make an evening of. Even New York is cheaper. And she resisted changing my two $20s. But she was still very engaging and an expert at her work.

Well, I had a better time here than at Barely Legal recently, but that's not saying much. I wouldn't go to any of the Bourbon Street clubs except that I can so easily get a free pass for entry and they generally don't hassle you for your one-drink-minimum for the first five minutes or so. So really, it's an ideal location for urinating if you're walking around and have one of those coupons. They give them out on street-corners (always accept every pamphlet everyone is giving you on Bourbon Street, and ask for more! They're all worth something, and it's fun!) and you can find Deja Vu / Hustler printable coupons on their websites, that are good for all of Flynt's clubs -- Larry Flynt's Hustler Club, Deja Vu Showgirls, Larry Flynt's Barely Legal, Hustler Li'l Darlings (which is not closed, despite TUSCL's statement to the contrary), all on Bourbon. The main Hustler club plays hard-rock of the "whacka whacka" recent variety: no Led Zeppelin; just a buncha annoying screamers I've never heard of, whose song lyrics are all well-known by the dancers, who raise their hands in the bull-horns gesture, slam their head front and back to fling their hair about, and mouthe the words with a tough look on their faces. The girls are mostly super-enhanced, though also super-hot. Any girl will have "tight abs", visible striations of her abdominal muscles, of either the work-out variety or the crack-addicted variety, or she'll be at least that fit. It's a place that tries to gear itself toward "established businessmen", so you see a lot of fat dykes with butch haircuts tipping here. And fat Texan male businessmen chomping on cigars and braying loudly about how "that girl really knows what she's doing." I don't enjoy it.


This club has gotten somewhat better than the last time I went. It costs to get in, around $10.00; however, the girls are nice and at least some are good looking. Inside, the seating is arranged around one stage in the center plus a smaller one off to the side. There is also an upstairs with another dance stage and bar. The VIP dances are downstairs and cost around $40.00 with individual dances starting at $20.00. The VIP section for more than one dance is upstairs. Needless to say, both areas are dark. The best time to come is on the weekends, particularly Friday, since the greatest amount and variety of dancers is on those days. The girls are nice and most aren't looking to hustle you for their next ride. The dances are typical for Bourbon Street, which menas there is contact. This is one of the better clubs on Bourbon Street.

These chicks are hot! Went there on a Saturday about midnight. 8's and 9's everywhere. They were moving and shakin and extremely friendly. Was there with a group from work, so I had to behave myself. One very hot chick came up to me and asked if I wanted a dance. I wasn't prepared for that, plus my coworkers, which included females and others that report to me, were close by. So I couldn't be be too wild. So to get rid of her I abruptly asked for a blow job. She said they couldnt do that here. Sure you can I said, how much? She quoted five grand, to get rid of me! It was all very comical, to me at least. Anyway, I know you can get a blow job in the Beaver Bucks room, where for $30 per dance you have almost complete privacy, because I got one before. That one cost only $90.

Can be lots of fun. They have Amateur Night on Thursday nights which can be a lot of fun. Unfortunately, they don't let them danace long enough. Each girl get about 30 seconds.

The lap dances all happen in booth in the back. I don't know about them, but the girls were hussling really hard for the dances. No time for talk.

Not a bad club if you can get a card for free cover.