the ultimate strip club list

October 15, 2008  •  Vol. 15, Issue 288

This was my fall back club over the years. While not expecting a lot of mileage, I do expect some fun. Stopped by recently expecting to have a little bit of fun. Did not recognize any girls I know, ofcourse its been a while since I stopped by but a 100% turnover was interesting. Anyways, since I did not know any, all I got was want-a-dance propositions. Tried to relax a little bit first and then took up someone on the lap dance, which was not that great. I liked a couple of girls, but it was difficult to get hold of anyone in that place. I have to say, it was not my regular heavenly experience.

Nice club, reasonable prices for dances and cover. Second shift girls, after 7, are more friendly. Girls are very cute. Ariel is very nice and gives a great dance. Beer is super inexpensive. All the waitresses are VERY hot and you can get a nude dance with them if they want to go. Would definitely recommend going. Many options for dances, single, vip, champagne room and by the hour. Bouncers are present but dont get in the way. Free pizza, not great but it is free. Music is hit or miss.

HB gets a bad rap, why I have no clue. They have a great 50 dollar vip special now, and the cheapest beers in town. A ton of different girls, many of whom are eastern european. Yeah you can't grab like the Industrial Strip but at least you don't get ripped off like you do at scores. HB value wise, is tough to beat. Of course it's not much fun getting lap dances on a chair in a makeshift room, but what do you expect?


Back to the HBs since I was flying into ORD, and had to see what was happening. What is happening is that there is quite a few new girls there who I had not seen, granted I had not been there in over six months. But the good news is that the quality has improved and the laps are just like I remember tasty, yummy and with the right one you can be flown to the moon...CR is the best bet for those with a few extra $ in their pockets besides the obvious.

Had a great time here Tuesday evening. Lots of hot chicks. All friendly and willing to show me a good time. Drinks are real cheap. Lot's of babes. Good music. Nice crowd. Staff is very friendly. I felt like a king here. Parking in secure. Drinks are cheap and girls are a plenty. Will return often. Love the Russian girls as they know how to tease. The waitress are reallt friendlt and hot.

Havent been here in awhile and notcied that they have alot of new dancers here. Cover is still $10 to enter and beer is free but if you want fast service then you need to tip the waitress well. There are three stages and when I was there all three stages were in use.

They dont play full songs so its really a quick dance. Girls are about 7-8. On the night I was there they had alot of European girls working. they have the VIP area up stairs and that is definately not worth. During my time there a few of the girls mentioned that they seem to be closely monitored by local law enforcement, and I know they have gotten busted in the past.

Overall a good place to go before heading somewhere else as the drinks are cheap.

Been coming here for a long time. It is by far the best place to go to in the Chicago area. I prefer going during the day since it is not as busy. The girls are not as pushy.

Before 3PM the cover is $5, after 3 it $10. Dances are $10 per song, $15 for topless. 5 for $50 topless. $50 for a 4 song preview upstairs.



The club is very cheap and fun to go to. The cover is $10 and the beer is usually around $1. Very friendly waitresses and good service. The club itself isn't the nicest but they do have a lot of flat screen tvs.

There is a great mix of girls. A great mix and something for everyone. They come around quite often for dances but aren't overly pushy. The lap dances are topless and all the girls grind pretty good. However, there is no touching.

I will definitely go back.

i love this place and the girls working here... i make sure to stop in every time i am leaving Chicago. They should lower their beer prices though

I was there at tuesday afternoon and decided to kill time for a while. Nothing is special. Cover is 10 bucks and no good girls and very pushy ones specially the immigrant ones. Dances are good but time per song is less than 3 minutes. They really need to bring down the price of beer to what it was before. They went up from 50cent to 2 dollars. I will not go there again.

Sam

the main dance floor is nothing special. the girls keep their bikinis on at all times in this area. the dances in the private area are either with or without tops. they are short so don't be surprisd if you think you have missed something. surprisingly there were a lot of girls here. some are seasoned veterans while you have others that are practically falling down the steps in their heels.

Back in Chicago on business and back to HB with my buddy. Upon further review this club is not as lame as I thought. The club itself is like a garage bar with simple stools and tables that are fairly uncomfortable. Concrete floors, no LCD TVs and Christmas lights as the decor complete the feeling.
The girls are all pretty hot. It was crowded and a lot of girls were giving VIP dances in a separate room, so it was hard to get a great feel for how many there were, but I probably saw 1 '6', a few 7's and many 8-9's. Mostly Eastern European and Latino, but some Black and White all-American girls as well.
Three stages going, one was empty fairly often, though. Girls do not get topless on-stage, so you get only a limited preview.
Topless dances in the VIP are 5 for 50, or 3 for 50 in the Champagne room. The VIP is a separate room crammed with folding chairs and is a lame way to get a mediocre dance. This time, though, I had a decent time with a couple of girls in the Champagne room. A 7 let me kiss her tits and suck on her nips (but hands on the hips only) and gave a nice hand-free grind. I also took a 9 up, and while she gave a nice grind, there was no contact with her perfect tits. YMMV.
The price is solid here. In addition to the reasonable dance prices, cover is $10 and beers are like $1 or something.
If you are looking for a comfortable place to hang and see some tits, this is not it.
If you are looking for more of a high-end place, this is not it.
If you want some cheap beer, cheap so-so dances and don't care how comfortable you are - this is your place!

The ladies are very hot. there were a few polish ladies. The dances, however, are not great because of the setup. You can go downstairs for dances at $15 nude, but the bouncer is watching over the entire time. You can go upstairs for a little bit more personal dances, like $50 for 3, as far as i remember, but once again there is electronic monitoring. So there is no privacy for dances. if they could have privacy for dances and give better dances, they would be one of the greatest clubs in the area.

I've visited HB a few times. I was stunned that no dancers talked to me at all the last time I was there. The private dances are very short (about 2 minutes), but many of the dancers are good looking. Will I be back, probably. Will I go out of my way to return, probably not.

I was near ohare earlier this week and decided to head into the old stomping grounds. Well a lot has changed, it was bad. Still quite a few eastern european dancers but very strict and very bad dances, mostly air. There were also a few hispanics but they were a little large. I really did not have a good time at all. I did see one blond that has to have been there for years. I use to get dances from here quite often upstairs in the vip. She appears to a have aged but still has quite a body. I don't feel comfortable recommending this club. I think I would stay away. It's too bad as it's close to O'hare and a great way to spend some time before or between flights.

Like a fool I occasionally wander into Heavenly Bodies hoping things are going to get better. I always find the opposite to be true.

Although the price structure here is decent there is that whole "you get what you pay for" thing.

The staff is obnoxious. Nothing new.

The DJ Sucks! They must hire based on ability to cut songs short and how loud they can scream over what they do play.

The Waitresses are lazy and the food is bad.

The dancers, if they speak English, don't do it well. They are standoffish and just there to extract money.

I lok around and see that my experience is not unique. Every one in there is having a lousy time. My advice go ANYWHERE else. I should have learned long ago t

This place ones my favorite has become an OK to me at this moment. I was there yesterday which was a Saturday twice, once at noon and later in the night. Beer price is up to 1.50 from 50 cents, waitresses are very annoying and dis-interested even if you hand her a 5 dollar tip. The only good thing about this place is there are stil very cute and hot young girls. I got dance from the sisters..(evette, roxy and broklyn) and also from Sonia. Sonia is a my favorite dancer overall and in my top list.She has a body of a super model not bulk and huge but slim and sexy and very very tight specially her waist and abs.. I am planning to go see her next tuesday again. This is my regular place if somebody wants to ask me abt this place plz msg me.

Make sure you tell the girls that you are taking a 5 songs for 50 bucks and pay up-front otherwise they are going to charge you per song. This girl broklyn charged me a total of 115 for 7 songs which i was thinking it to be 5 songs.I just thought it would be foolish of me to argue with her in such a place. So count the songs as they go as it is very easy for them to distract you and trick you.

DO NOT use the ATM machines there. There is a surcharge of 13 dollars and next time you try to take the money out it does not work .I was left stranded there for 1 hour yesterday.

Over all i give this place 4 stars.

Girls-4.5
Beer-3
Drinks and Food - 4
Staff-3
Cleanliness-3
Music-3.5
Dance-4
waitresses-1



This place is easy to get to, plenty of parking, and near O'Hare airport. Also, this place has some beautiful girls, and I would say that they are friendly, but more than anything this is a very large noisy sports bar, many TVs blaring away, the music very loud, and the dances in the private dance area mostly air. It might be a good place to go with a bunch of buddies but it is not a place to go if one is looking for a more intimate experience.

I was here recently on a weekday evening. It is my club of choice, when I have time and no plans. I always find a girl or two who I end up spending a lot of time with. Most girls are eastern European and a lot of them have attitudes, but you would always find someone who is nice, easy and awesome on your lap. Spent a couple of hours, had some real nice grinds for not a lot of money and headed back home. Overall, it is always a more than decent value at this club.

I went about noon and soon found that my favorite, Rozanne was working. We spent some very nice time together, but I actually wanted lunch before we went back to dance. While waiting for my luch to come, I found Yevette. I met her the last time I was there. I had to have a couple of dances with her before I got back to Roxanne. Both girls do a great jobs. After Roxanne, I had to clean up so I could go home.

One of the best values out there when it comes to alcohol. 20 dollars gets you in the door and to any open seat you want. They have a main stage and a pole on each side of the building. Atmosphere is clean with a mix of professional and casual. DJ was spinning a variety of music from 80s to dance tracks. The shots were around 4 bucks and the beers about the same. As the waitress said, you're there to spend the money on the dancers, not the drinks. Tvs hang from the ceiling playing sports giving that sports bar vibe.

The women range from decent looking to hot. On this particular visit almost all of the girls that came up to us were from Europe. Their attitudes ranged from positive to "lets get down to business." A few in particular introduced themselves and immediately asked if I would like to dance. When I said that we were just settling in they immediately took off. Unlike the girls at many other clubs that sit and talk to you before asking for a dance, most of the ladies on this particular night seemed disinclined to do so. The ones that do though will get touchy feely and sit close to you. One girl actually sat on my leg with her arm around me while talking. Reason they can be comfortable is because they are wearing lingerie. They have a VIP lounge complete with couches and a private room for topless dances.

Regardless of my mixed night, I'd go back again. I've been there several times when the girls are friendlier and a good game was on. This is the place if you're looking for an strip club to just hangout at.

I have been to this club many times. Most dancers are ok looking. Most are from eastern europe -- poland, checz, etc.

Good value. $20 entry. Then beer is only $1.

Girls walk and chat alot. They don't stay long if you don't buy a dance. Some are pushy. Others are much better at teasing you into the back room.

Downstairs backroom is a grind for $10> Topless grind for $15. Upstairs is more expensive and more intimate. Also, chairs are more plush.

Its by O'Hare so it attracts a lot of visiting businessmen. Since they have gone smoke free, its a lot nicer place to visit. Nice place to hang out when you have time to kill before a flight

5-6-08 My boss and I made our semi-annual visit to HB. Arribed around 7:30. Upon entering the club, we were asked for ID's, them gave the girl $10 for a token, which we put into the turnstile slot. As you walk in, there is a girl trying to sell import beers for $3-$5. We declined. Domestic beer was 50 cents. Most of the girls dancing were in the 6-8 range with a few 9's. I got some of my best LD's from a Cheq babe that was really built. Overall, it was an enjoyable experience.

Went there for the first time with a friend of mine who raved about HBs Club in non-nude, only bikini on stage. Dancers are fairly pushy with dances and I would say 90% eastern european. Also most of the dancers are real young or old, seems to be like the minor legues of clubs. Had mixed experience with the chair dances and upstairs private dances, so guess it depends on the dancer you get. The main benefit to going here is beer is $1 a bottle and dances are fairly inexpensive. If you just want to hang out and drink with some decent looking girls around you its ok, but I'd recommend other clubs for more of the club atmosphere or better attention from the girls.

Stopped by during the day shift about 3:30 on a recent weekday. As expected there were maybe a dozen dancers to choose from and there were maybe a dozen customers when I walked in. This works out fine if you are laying over for an O'Hare flight or have some time to kill between sales calls etc.

Here's the Deal:
You pay a $10 cover and they give you a token for the turnstyle and place a wristband on you just in case you need to go outside and smoke. The cover entitles you to a sandwich of your choice fries/chips (Cheeseburger, Italian Beef/Hot Dog/ Grilled Ham & Cheese/ Turkey Club, etc.) You also get bottled domestic beers for 50 cents and imports for $1. Mixed well drinks are cheap as well. So you can have lunch and watch bikini-clad dancers for $10 to $12 ... You ask me, why not just head over to HOOTERS which is 15 minutes away and closer to the airport ?????

ANSWER:
Because the HOOTER waitresses will not ride your lap for $10 Bikini and $15 Topless for 2:30 songs. The BETTER DEALS are 5 for $50 Topless lappers in a not-so private room with others and a bouncer/monitor counting songs or 5 Topless in the Champagne Room for $125. You can also get a 3 song (7-8 minute) Champagne Room "Preview" for $50.

I ask you to compare the pricing of area Lingerie Bars and Strip Clubs and you can see why these options would satisfy the out-of-town business traveler, casual club-goer or curiousity-seeker. Extras are not to be had and you can leave smiling with $$$ in your pocket. You will not get everything you want here; but it is what it is ...

Day Shift Shout-outs to a gorgeous Euro-Blond UNIQUE; the incomparable and petite, DIAMOND; Asian Delights ... LILY (think Lily Thai but more sensuous and naturally prettier) and SARICE (she said it means cherry in French ... but she's a Korean Suburban-American Spinner who weighs about 93 pounds and will grind your joy-stick until the Ever-Ready Batteries run down.) If you have ever dreamed of having a simply sexy and stunning Brazilian Honey on your lap; please save some $$$ and spend it on LIZA. She will make you call your travel agent for a trip to Brazil.

BOTTOM LINE:

The Bottoms never come off and you cannot grope dat ass. OK, we have other clubs where you can do dat. At HB's you can fantasize and have young women of all ethnic stripes grind you for awhile and still have a good time. If you cum later at night; there will be more options and more guys competing for the same dancers. I advise you to cum early, avoid the crowds and leave here happy.

I had this place on boycott since January of 2006, and broke it during a recent visit into town after moving away. Why this place continually gets good reviews is beyond me. The drinks are cheap but often stale, the women are ugly, rude foreigners or just plain suburban trash, the air is bad and too fucking cold and the dances are mechanical. Only in the Chicago area would a place like this succeed. I had one chick walk away from me, who is some tall eastern European (surprise!) blonde who worked there before I moved. In fact I recognized at least half of the women from the last times I came in. Do these women have any ambition or goals in their life? No, they'd rather get their palms greased by a bunch of male Chicagoans who can't get anyone better than average looking, since women in this whole metro area are gold-digging sows.

Afraid I'll have to agree with the review below mine. I live 20 min. down the road from this club but don't frequent it much anymore. There are better offerings to be had with only slightly longer drive times. In fact unless there is some kind of enticement, (More liberal touch policy and better looking girls.)I doubt I will be returning soon. Last weekend I stopped by becase I was right in the area. Next time I'll make the short hop over to SCOZRES in Stone Park.

Ok, so I'm in town and a friend likes using me as an excuse to go to HB. No big deal it's pretty close to my hotel near O'Hare. We warm up with a stop at Hooters near the airport. Plenty of hot chicks in there, and then we are on our way to HB. It seems like the same as the last time I was there.
It's a garage with uncomfortable bar stools, girls dancing on-stage in bikinis and cheap beer. The private dances are no touch and although there are some cute girls, they are not extraordinary: 5-8 maybe a 9.
So I start thinking about Hooters, where the girls are hotter, the food is better and the atmosphere is nicer. Seems to me the only thing HB has going for it is the cheap beer, and that is really not enough to hold my attention.
I never really thought about it before, but if a club can't even offer as much as a Hooters, what's the point? I still give this place a 5 because everyone is nice enough and no one is ripping you off, but I'd rather be at Hooters.

Great lunch time or ohare airport delay stop. Night shift usually better then day, but always a couple of great looking girls. You just have to tip while eu are up dancing.
Food is free and the drinks are really cheap, of course the speed up 2 minute songs more then cover the clubs financial needs.
As for girls, unique is my favorite. Like most of the girls she works hard on her dances, but unlike most she is drop dead gorgeous and really nice.
Be warned though, with 50 cent domestic bottles your common sense an your wallet soon follow.
As for dances, you have a choice I champaigne or a room full of guys getting dances. My one trip to he champaigne left me feeling like I should have saved my money for more dances in the regular room.


Continuing their slippage into a all time low for me. Gave it another chance after seeing some good reviews, but an evening trip was a waste. Theo nly gal on a Thursday night of any quality was the always busy Ava. The other girls, ok, but not even close to a 7-8, mostly 5-6 any that was being generous. Left with a few c-notes that would have been spent. Come'on mamagement lowe those house fees and bring in some better talent.

If you are in the Chicago area and are hoping for a great strip club experience, then you better save your money and hit another town. However, if you are looking for the "K-Mart" experience of strip clubs, then you have found you place. $10 cover price gets you in and also the privilege to buy fifty cent beers all night. The girls dance in bikinis in the club, but for private dances will go topless with the requisite bikini frame. Private dances come in the $15 Topless, $10 Full Bikini or 5 for $50 in the downstairs area with the metallic low rent bowling alley chairs for dances.

If you like Eastern European dancers that come up to you with accents that would make a KGB agent proud, you have found Nirvana! There are actually some decent looking women at this joint, however stay away from the 40+ year old asian gal. If you've ever seen the movie "The Grudge" you will know exactly who I'm talking about when you see her. She may give good dances, however you'd really have to be quite hammered to completely forget that monster freak face.

This joint is what it is. If you don't have great expectations, you could potentially have a good time here.

Cover charge is cheap, $5 during the day and $10 at night. Food is free and the liquor is cheap. It is a bikini bar but topless is permitted in the VIP and Champagne Room. Best deal is $50 for 5 dances in the VIP room (about 11 or 12 minutes) but the Champagne Room is not a bad deal either, $125 for a half-hour which includes 5 lap dances. The place is a little run down but you can have a good time for a reasonable amount of money.

Wow. This club can surprise. I've been going here off and on for 30 years. Stopped in after a 9 month absence and had a great time. Lot's of new talent in the 8 to 10 area. I used to stop by to smoke a fine cigar and enjoy great women but Illinois has banned all smoking so now it's just the cheap drinks and great woman. What's the world coming to when you can't enjoy a FINE cigar at a gentleman's club? If you want to be teased this is the place.

I used to love coming to HB's after work, about 4PM on weekdays. My favorite dancers were Chantal, Devin, and Helen. In the past few month, all three of them have left. There isn't much left there on day shift to interest me. Paige is nice and friendly. Unfortunately, chatting with customers for more than a few seconds is strictly prohibited. In real gentlemen's clubs, that's the fun for me. Getting to know the girl a little, checking out the personality that goes with the boobies.

One last thought... a big thumbs down for the girl that had the big fight with Devin that caused her to leave. You know who you are, you're one of a kind.

Let's start off the year fresh! Please get rid of the pathetic dancers- Miko should be Freeko- I don't need a freaky looking wierdo with a 12 year old body rubbing the love sausage. Erika- please she looks like a f**ken pear with cellulite and she is old as shit to boot. Michelle- bad breath, rubbery flabby orange skin and shit for english, Sam- can't say nothing awesome personality and nice fat ass, Rainbow is now Timmy- no tits or ass- ok Billy- Tanya is Miko's or Freeko's lost galactic alien sister - I would love to see these 2 freeks dance together on stage with Pyramid hats Yoda Slippers and sparklers in their hands. FARRAH is the BOMB!!!!!!

Stopped by after work, last working friday before Xmas. Usually the friday before a holliday is like going to a stripper play land. Very busy and lost of ladies. But I was massively dissapointed. The place as less than 1/2 packed and there were only about 10 ladies working. All the strippers seemed very young. Great if that is what you are after, but I prefer a little more experience for a better lap dance. Of the 10 ladies there, I would only waste a buck on 3 of them for a lap dance, and I was pusing it with the thrid. The other girls were more of a turn off. Very dissapointed, I don't know of the smoking band is hurting the place.

Have been going here for years, It's had its' ups and downs. Seems to be in one of the better cycles now. Several new younger dancers and for a change, some of them have a clue on how to give a good dance. Not as many coming up asking if you want a dance and if you hesitate, just walking away. They're working a little harder now. They're still short songs and the contact is very limited. For Chicago it's OK.

The girls are great. I had a chance to get a 5 for $50 session with Dixie. She was a lot a fun and gave a very nice dance-forward, backwar and upside down!!! If I have a complaint it would be that many of the girls are real young, under 21. I do not find them attractive. They act like they're still in high school and that that type of approach is sexy. I'd much rather spend time with someone who knows what they're doing. There are girls like this here and you can have a great time. I'll be back.

Had some time to kill before a flight and HB is located close to the airport. As other reviews have noted, this is not a high end club and there is little contact in the Chicago clubs, but this is a good place to get a beer.
The layout is basically a garage bar, with a concrete floor, high bar stools and tables and a couple of stages. Not too comfortable, but everything is in good condition.
Dancers dance on stage with the usual rotation, but do not take their tops off. They circulate pretty well asking for dances. Dances are in a separate room, but the same atmosphere: no privacy, not too comfortable and little or no contact.
The good thing is that beers are only 50 cents, and the girls are generally attractive: 6-8 with the occasional 9. Not a bad place to stop for a couple of beers and to check out some cute Eastern European women, but otherwise, not worth the effort.

I hadn't been to this club in over a year. They still haven't paved the parking lot. One good thing is that the club is no smoking. Other than that, nothing has changed. Songs are still clipped almost in half and the "VIP" room is still a bunch of chairs in a empty room. I did sample a couple of dances with a very sexy Polish girl. I think her name was Kiarra or Kianna. Very friendly in a honest way and they way she moves just exudes sex. I did 2 topless dances which for HB standards were very good. Other than her, there were a few lookers and overall, I'd say the dancers that night were above average in looks.

Oh how the mighty have fallen, used to be worth the time, the money, and now it is a shallow shell of its former self. Used to love the Euro girls, but it looks like the eastern european pipeline has dried up. Where oh where is Leila, where oh where is Ava, I hope that things improve because it is so convenient, but I guess I'll spend my lap $ some where else. Looks like a little lull at the HB's, maybe combing all the top girls from the other clubs would make a difference here.

Chicago...not a bastion of strip club fun. That said, HB is such a contradiction in terms. Remodeling has been going on for at least 15 years, and that is NOT an exaggeration. Must be something with zoning. Still rough inside, the dance area ...the common one, is warehouse style wood floors, old restaurant style chairs and bad porno on the tv. They charge 10 bucks cover, bt is really a deal in disguise, as the beers and well drinks are only fitty cents or a buck each. This however, is assuming you tip the waitress enough to get one more than once a week! This was my first visit in a long time, went in the evening. Either the philosophy changed some or I caught a good night, as the security staff was not intrusive and obnoxious, the waitress was friendly, if not really attractive, and it seemed the songs were longer instead of their previous 1 or 1.5 minute length. Met a real little cutie, she asked for 10 a dance 15 topless or 10 for 50. I did a 15, she dropped the top and wore only a strange oontraption of string surrounding the titty but entirely exposing it. Again, must be somehow circumventing a law. The titties on her were so so outstanding, cute little ass, nice legs and a cute smile. She was a real spinner, about 5 feet and probably 100 pounds. Dance was very nice, good contact and such a rack, however it is strictly no touch, hands on the waist only. Stage dances are for two songs, remain in the bikini, but some very attractive girls. Again, nothing great, but for Chicago not all bad either. Seems like they want to be a Gentlemans Club, but learned the biz in the Mannheim Rd. clip joint fashion shows. Stop in, if your expectations arent' too high you may have some fun.

Stopped by last Thursday around 9pm. Cover was $10. Jacket need to be checked. Domestic beers are only 50 cents. Imports vary. Heinekens $2 and Coronas $3.50. I didn't try but looks like they have free pizza/snack too. Smoke free and no bathroom stooge, which are definite pluses.

Pretty big club. There are 3 stages and they were all being utilized.
There were about 30 dancers that night. They don't get topless on stage. It's the usual deal. Few girls stopped by to say hi but never the ones you want. There were lots of congregation in the DJ and kitchen area even though the club was packed. I had to approach the girls I want to get dances.

VIP Dances are $10 with clothes on. $15 topless.
It's in a room that has maybe 40 chairs and a bouncer or two at all times so no privacy at all. Hands on waist only. They are allowed to grind.

Champagne Room dances (upstairs) were 3 for $50.
It's like a living room with 4 couches with cameras so still no privacy.
Same deal. Lots of grinding. Hands on waist only. Very disappointing.
Some places in Columbus is better than this club.

This would be a higher rating for the girls, lap dances, $0.50 beers except for the fact that it is not topless. I just can't get past the fact that if you go to a strip club the girls should strip. I knew it was a "bikini" place when I went in but it just didn't do it for me.

With the above caveat, I did find a method that worked for me. They had VIP dances (the VIP room is all concrete with cheap chairs lined up - not too VIP) for $10 or $15 topless. I chose the topless version and if I liked it, I asked the girl to go upstairs for 3 for $50 in the "Champagne" room which did not have anything to do with Champagne but was much nicer with couches and carpeted floors.

The dances were a lot of grinding but limited two contact - legs, back, no goodies. The girls were not even allowed to rub their tits in your face but the grinding was excellent. I had upstairs dances from Elise (a very hot little brunette) and Sophia (a stunning, tall, blonde Russian girl with an amzing body). I would recommend both.

Overall the girls ranged from about 6 - 9. Pretty good talent overall.

This is not your top shelf club. That being said you can have a great time here. The best word to describe this club is Industrial. Industrial area, industrial look to the building and industrial interior, no carpet. for a $10 cover you get all the cheap booze you want. I think the beers are 1/2 a buck. The female drink servers are friendly. No smoking allowed...bummer. I Like a good cigar at a club. The stage dances are not topless.

There is a lot of talent here. The Laps are full contact from the girls but you can only touch the hips and back. Some girls are very much into trying to get you off. Others are mechanical. The dances are 3 for 50 or 15 each, topless. Once you have tried several girls you can have a good time with your favorites. Plan on spending 300 for a fun evening.

Time of Day: Saturday Night from 9:30 pm - 2:00 am.

Cover: $10

Drinks: $0.50 for Beer, free pop

Parking: Free. Easy parking in and out.

Bar Scene: Three stages for the stripper to show off their assets and skills in their bikini type outfits only. There were approximately 30 strippers on a Saturday night. Seating was hard to find at around 11 pm. The place has approximate 25 premium tables that are numbered (I did not inquire what is required to get such a table). The private dances are in a separate room with a number of chairs and little privacy. Champagne room is located upstairs, I believe (did not inquire).

Ladies: Most women ranged from 4 to 6s with a number of 8s and 9s.

Dances: $10 for bikini grind dance, $15 for topless grind dance (where they basically pull aside their bikini tops to the side), 3 grind dances for $50 in champagne room, and 5 grind dances for $50 (needs to be before your dance begins). Grind dances were good.

Overall: Great bar to drink and watch pretty showcase their stuff, though not much nudity showcased. Stage dances were OK, except for Ferrera who is a must see. Grind dances were good, but could have used more nudity and privacy. My overall impression: great to go drink and watch beautiful women, but if you enjoy full nude and/or private dance clubs then I recommend going elsewhere.

Miscellaneous: Easy access off of 90 on Elmhurst Road. I spent ~ $400 that night on three women: Zoey (gorgeous big busted young blonde), Ferrera (Very skilled sensual dancer; very fit - muscular blonde with great pair of eyes), and Brooklyn (Petite and fit; very skilled rough and very active dancer).


Went on a Thursday afternoon after work brought me out to O'Hare and had not been in since they started the infamous dollar dances, all I can say is what a f***ing waste of time these are. Tip the girls on stage, tip the waitress, tip the bouncer, tip the DJ, tip the House Mom, tip me, but what were these all about? Getting girls to make their house tip out, that is just sooooo low. C'mon now, spend some of those dollars on cleaning the place, didn't stay for the shift change which is a first for me. Well, I'll be back... first time with out even a fiver.

This clue is pretty good and can be bad at the same time. On the good side, the cover is $10 and that includes food and inexpensive drinks (free soda, 50 cent domestic bottles). Waitresses can be really attentive or totally forget about you. This is a no-frills club; don't expect anything hi-falutin and you won't be disappointed. Now, this can be a good thing if you're tired of being hustled to buy drinks and flowers for your dancer, you won't run into anything like that here at all. The club isn't nearly as crowded as it was a few years back, now there's usually no problem finding a seat. The crowd is lower middle class, nothing to worry about. This does mean that a decent tip to a waitress or being nice to a dancer will get you far.

One odd thing, the tables that are elevated are really for rent, if you sit there they'll ask for something like $10/person/hour. When this place was crowded that was sometimes worth it, now not so much. DJs aren't bad, music isn't too bad or too loud.

There are two VIP rooms, one upstairs for more money and one downstairs. Haven't been upstairs as dancers have told me that there's really no difference between the two, other than there's more privacy upstairs and there are couches. I've never heard the dances are any different upstairs. Downstairs VIP is a bare-bones (oops, wrong choice of words there!) affair with crummy chairs that will make your butt hurt after a few dances.

Dancers: if you like eastern European girls (and they can be quite hot), you're in luck here. About 60% are from Poland, Lithuania, Russia and so on. Dance quality is all over the map, there are dozens of dancers on the weekends. While I have had excellent dances, I've never experienced any major extras - please note that there are cameras all over the place, and bouncers and dancer managers abound. I've seen dancers fired on the spot and guys kicked out.

There are great dancers here, a few hustlers (not too many) and some average dancers. I do like the personal approach, most dancers like to talk and visit with you before and after. Most are pretty decent looking, but not all. You will likely see some dancers and wince, but it's a low percentage. Turnover is fairly high, yet there are dancers there that have worked there for years.

You can touch during the dances, just keep away from the places where you really want to touch.

Also, they went smokeless in the last few weeks due to local ordinance, they allow smokers to re-enter using a wristband.

The rating would be higher if the club wasn't so cheap inside and if things would be loosened up a bit. I've had fun here and will again.



I visited on a Thursday, early afternoon. I was hoping to get a dance from my HB favorite but she was occupied for thirty minutes upstairs and was booked with another customer for another thirty minute session. This place is such a wham-bam-thank-you-mam'm place. All bikini on stage and only topless in the private dances. And I don't know if you'd really call it topless. A lot of the girls wear tops that can be pushed aside to expose there tits so they don't even have to remove clothing for a topless dance.

After watching and tipping about half dozen women I decided to go with Cloe, a cute young blonde with a shapely ass and nice, natural tits. I think she told me she is 21, for what that's worth. I bought the 5 for 50 deal downstairs and wasn't disappointed. However it wasn't the fantastic experience I've had with my favorite there. I won't tell her name because, if I do, one of you fucks will have her upstairs next time I'm there. But she is so sweet and makes feel like she's really enjoying spending time with me. Whether or not she does is beside the point--she makes me feel good--not like I just wasted my money.

This club has become more and more disappointing the more times I go there. It has become a non smoking club. But that is not the worst part. The girls have become less and less friendly. I used to go there it was $10 all you can drink. Now you pay for drinks and obviously tip. It also doesn't help that I have been to clubs in Las Vegas and California. Illinois is a weak choice for any club but I would say this is a place to avoid.

Stopped in on a Friday evening and was surprised that this venue has become a NO SMOKING club. You can get a wristband and be treated like the outcasts you see standing outside most office complexes, huddling around their cancer six for a nicotine fix. I left my pack in the car and decided to see how many 50 cent bottles of beer I could drown and mechanical lap dances I would endure before deciding to leave.

I started visiting HB's in it's Hey-Day's of the 80's and 90's and have watched dancers get their start here and move to more upscale or more comfortable venues. Shocked to find that some of the regulars were still gracing the stage and getting guys to buy lappers (Miko, Erica and a few Euro's).

If you like sitting in a rundown cavernous room with concrete floors and uncomfortable bar stools to see mostly young unskilled and sometimes enthusiastic dancers on three stages dancing in bikini tops for 2:25 an obscure song, this could be your Val Halla. The VIP room ain't fit for a VIP, MVP or GED. It sux, period. The Champagne Room is kinda like buying a "triple-wide." You're still in a trailer park with a bigger trailer.

I need something better in my life than that which HB's offers, It is a good place for the youngsters who are not ready for a Gentleman's Club to go get their feet wet, but if you have some time and some $$$ to spend, there are many other places in Chicago which will treat you like the Boss.

Went back to this place after a long absence on a Friday night. Was denied entry because they wouldnt allow sport shorts so had to change. Place has gone down 2 points I would say due to the talent dropping. There were still some hot girls, like Victoria from Russia, but there was much fewer of them, also they had some girls that they could lose that were either to old or had pot bellies. Other than that its pretty much the same, good lap contact private dances. Cheap beer (50 cents) and free food. Its still worth going but just not the supermodel haven it once was.

Went on a Thursday night around 9. Was there for 3 hours. The club is located in an industrial area with $10 cover. Variety of beers available and quite cheap $2-3.

The VIP dance costs around $10 (bikini) and $15 (topless). Have tried the Champagne Room in the past but not worth it. You are better off in the VIP downstairs. The songs are much shorter than other clubs.

They have now banned smoking in the club so have to go out for one. Could not recommend a girl as in the 3 hours I did not find anyone worth it.

Went to Heavenly Bodies on a Wednesday about noon. Large free parking lot in a safe suburban/industrial location. There is a $10 cover charge. Beers are 50 cents, soft drinks and food (pizza, burgers) are free. The place is large, clean and well kept. The perfume/smokey scent of the place, like most clubs, is a dead giveaway to wives. (Bring spare shirt or Freebreeze) There are two stages on the main floor, a private dance area off to one side and a VIP lounge upstairs. Dances on the main stage are bikini only. Tip the girl you like on stage and request a private dance or wait for them to come around and ask. (I found the wait was sometimes long so I suggest if you see what you like - ask!)

When I went there seemed to be a dozen or so girls, unusual for daytime. Half were European and they ranged from 6 to 10's. In the private area, lap dances were bikini $10 and topless $15. There were various offers also. The VIP area was more expensive and from what I could tell, not much different from the other area.

The good news, the dances were full friction grind. The bad news, only non-sexual touching allowed. The bouncer watched like a watch dog. As with all clubs, the experience depended on the girl. I had two so -so dances. Three good dances with lots of grindage and tits rubbing on head and chest. The best dance was from a small (no) chested blond (sorry forgot name). The grindage was the best I ever had at a club. I fantasize about her to this day and hope to go back and find her again!

Needless to say, I would go back. I prefer full nude clubs but there are few in Chicagoland that are open during the day for a midday sneak away. This one is a close second!


The dances on stage are done in bikinis. The first night I was there, there was a hot Polish girl. The second night the girls were not impressive. There are dances in VIP and champagne rooms. In VIP: $10 bikini dance, 15 nude. In champagne: $50 for 3 song set. It doesn't seem particularly worth it to go to the champagne room. Cover: $5, $10 at night? Girls don't talk much in the VIP and champagne rooms. They are supposed to get down to business and leave.

Things that knock my rating down:
- no nudity, all bikini, on stage
- only one way touching during the lap dances
- girls not allowed to sit and bullshit with customer. They can only stand next to your table. (but all the tables are high with bar stools so you can put your arm around the girl and hug a little)
- songs are short, only about 2 minutes each

Things that push my rating higher:
- girls are young and attractive
- lap dances have lots of grinding, both crotch grinding and tittie grindage
- club is not expensive: $5 cover during the day includes lunch; domestic beers are 50 cents; lap dances are $15 topless or $10 bikini

I haven't been here for several months and I noticed a few changes:
- no smoking.
- If you want, they'll put a wrist band on you when you first come in so you can go out and smoke. But it's florescent so it really jumps out with the black light in the club.
- it seemed to me that most of the girls were 7-9. In previous visits I thought the pulcrititude was not as plentiful.
- the lady who took my money at the door gave me change in singles. In the past I've asked for singles and was told to get change from the waitresses.

As for the NO SMOKING: I think that's weird for a strip club. I don't smoke and I do like it better without smoke but I've always figured that was just one of the hazards of being a SC junkie. It doesn't seem natural not to have a smoky atmosphere. Most strippers smoke, I think, so where do they go to smoke?

They still have the 5 LD for $50 downstairs and 3 LD for $50 upstairs specials.

I was in Chicago on a layover Saturday night and decided to stop by based on the reviews. If what you're after is a bar with cheap drinks, food, and one girl for every 30 or so guys, then this is it. The lap dances would be a good deal if there actually was the "full contact" the DJ talks about. The girls were mostly 5's and 6's, with an occasional 7. I guess clubs in California, Vegas, and Florida have spoiled me.

First time there paid cover walked in and sat for 3 songs no waitress or dancer approached me. Plenty of eye candy in the form of long legged and enhanced blondes. But being a bikini club kind of sucks. Instead of dying of thirst I decided to cut my losses and leave. If I come back I guess I'll have to be a little more aggressive.

HB is definitely a good time. Not living room comfy, more like a bar. Cover is $5 before 5pm, $10 after. It includes food and well drinks. Premium booze runs only $2 more. Back room is just chairs, 5 dances for $50, nice contact. VIP dances are on a couch and easily more comfortable, but 3 dances run $50. Songs are a bit too short. Bouncers are not oppressive. TVs everywhere you look normally showing local sports.

Nice combination of girls. Many European, but not all. Some just hustling dances, others more warm and seductive. Looks also vary, not many 10s but plenty of high 8s and 9s.

Had a great time here last weekend. Cody is so cool and so HOT!
Planning to return soon.

Whenever I am badly in need to unwind, this is the club I head to. You do not get a lot of mileage here unless you have a great rappo with the girl (and even then there is no guarantee). Anyways, I stopped here last week, during a weekday and spent about 2 hours. Since beer is cheap(including what you choose to tip), you can repurpose that for the dancers.

Had several dances with different girls. Some are good, some are okay but did not find anyone really bad. Overall, since mileage is not that high, there usually are several really great looking girls (breaking in?). Overall, it was the perfect unwinding I needed and went home a happy camper.

Not bad. The girls were 7's and 8's, with one 9.5 (Mandy). Unless you are willing to drop some money in VIP/Private, don't bother with dances. The stage shows are good and girls can actually move. Not a bad night out, but the fun will cost you.

For the Chicago area, this is a decent club depending on what your preferences are. If you just like to watch girls take their clothes off on stage and don't get into lapdances, you will be disappointed since stage shows are girls in bikinis dancing. No stripping. Some may give a peek but it will be quick and they will likely get told not to do that next time by one of the bouncers. But, if you get a dance from one of the girls, either the regular room on the main floor or the updstairs "champagne room," they are the best you'll find in the vicinity. Pay the extra $5 for the girl to take their top off. I was next to a guy who didn't want to so I just gave the girl the money so I could see her top off. Seems like the last few times I've been there, they have had special of 5 for $50 in main room or 3 for $50 upstairs. For most girls there, it's worth the multiple play but if you're tight on money for the evening, you might try them one shot at a time for $15 unitl you find the right one to spend more time with.

One of the local favorites. I end up here every few weeks with some friends. You can't beat the $10 cover which includes bar food and 50cent domestic beer. Mixed drinks are $2-2.50. As for the dancers, there are bunch of newer girls here. Most of them know what you are there for and are more then willing to make sure you have a good time. The VIP room kind of sucks in that it is just a big room with some old restaurant chairs. It's not very private and it's pretty well lit. Dances are $10 or $15 topless here. A better bet is going upstairs. There are couches up there and it’s a lot more comfortable. The dancers are $40 for a two song preview. The other thing negative about this place is the short songs; we're talking like 2 min songs. Overall the girls are pretty good most above average but there are a few who really should not be there, way too big and they don’t understand the words “NO thanks”. Lately there have been several girls who do some really good pole work on one of the three stages. They have begun to understand that to get tips they have to do more then lean against the pole and pout. If the songs were a bit longer and the VIP room was a bit nicer this place would defiantly be rated higher, but for a sports bar with hot scantily clad chicks it’s not bad.

Yes, the monthly review is here.. the Bulgarian Princess is back, Aurora had a fiver plus two and it was the fantasy that you would expect, stayed later and had a VIP with Eva.....she is truly amazing makes you feel like you are the only man in the room, keep up the great work Eva, she should show every dancer how to do it and then there wouldn't be a wait for her...All in all a great time, the $2.00 imports make the $200 Champagne Room worth it, I think????

I am a regular at Heavenly Bodies I get out there about once a month and have almost always had a good time. First of all you can't beat the prices it's only a $10 cover and all your domestic beers and drinks are only fifty cents this also includes food. The atmosphere is pretty dark and can sometimes also be smoky. They use a really laid back approach to customers so you don't have a bouncer hitting you up for money or a host asking for a tip after he didn't do anything. The girls cover a wide range on a 1 to 10 scale they range all the way from 2 to 10 the best nights to go there are thursday friday and saturday. Monday and Tuesday can be pretty scary as far as the ladies go. Dances are 10 bikini and 15 topless and you can get 5 topless dances for $50 songs are normally about 2.5 minutes long in my opinion. The dance quality is really good lots of good grinding you can only touch around the waist area, but if a girl knows you it's possible to put your hands all over her as long as you don't make it obvious and get her in trouble. The champaign room is a complete waste of time and money it's just a couch and actually ends up costing more for less 125 for a half hour which is 5 dances and 200 for a half hour but they dance the entire time. All in all it's a great place to bring some friends and hang out or just for a couple drinks or just get a couple drinks to kill some time.

Made my monthly trip to the mecca of eastern european hotties, and was pleasently suprised to make the acquaintance with an american babe-o-rama by the name of meme, mimi, momo as i was wanting more. she is a more recent addition to the club, and by her looks and manner she will do very well. a real sweet girl as opposed to the wanna dance europeans, and that a$$ is most amazing. i for one will be back to sample that in the VIP.

I went to HB on Wednesday. There were alot of new ladies, but they seemed to circulate less then in the past. There are some new 7-9 in Mercedes and Trixy. Mercedes is very cute and persaonable. I would love to take her home with me. Nothing really new to report except for the new (terrible) DJ. He has a terrible voice and you can hardly understand him. Maybe the new year will bring better things to HB.

My impression of this place, without actually going there, had always been something like a raunchy Hooters (actually I’ve never been to a Hooters. Maybe they’re raunchy in their own right.) But after reading some of the raving reviews for HB on this site I decided to give it a whirl. Visited on a Tuesday afternoon.
First the good stuff:

- the girls are young and beautiful. There were about 8 or 10 girls working, I think.
- It’s cheap—at least in the afternoon. There was a $5 cover (and, yes, that is very strange the way they give you a coin to deposit in the turnstile. It’s like going into the subway used to be, before farecards), domestic beers (industrial brews) are fifty cents and the kitchen serves burgers, hot dogs, BLTs and other stuff for free. (don’t forget to tip your waitress you cheap bastards. For chrissakes, you’re getting a free lunch!) The burger I ate was good. I did not order the fries.
- Lap dances are $10 for bikini or $15 topless per song in the VIP room (see below). There’s an upstairs area with couches rather than chairs. You can get three dances upstairs for $50 or spend either $125 or about $200 (I don’t remember exactly) for 30 minutes, depending on whether you get 6 or 12 dances during that half hour (this information is according to one of the dancers. I did not try the half-hour option) I tried the VIP room on two of my visits and the upstairs room (3 for $50) on another.
- The dancers are on stage for only two songs. I think that’s great because it gives me a chance to see more girls, all the better to decide who I let take me for a private dance. I like to go to the stage, chat a little with the dancer and then tip her to get an idea what her personality is like. I know, it’s still a crap shoot but it’s better than going on looks alone.
- No pasties.
- They open at 11:00 am which is nice for a daytime guy like me. I almost always visit strip clubs in the daytime, either on a day off or when I’m driving somewhere for business.

Now the bad stuff:
- the staff at the front door were totally useless. I came in behind three young guys who all got carded. When the bouncer asked me for my ID I said, “I’m not with these guys.” I’m in my mid-fifties and although I’ve been told I look like I’m in my forties I know I couldn’t pass for under 45, much less under 21. But the bouncer insisted on seeing ID. Since I don’t carry my wallet into strip clubs I had to go back to the car to get my DL. When I got back there was a different bouncer who just looked at my DL and didn’t say anything. Just pointed at a girl behind a counter. She told me it was five to get in and when I paid with a twenty I had to ask for singles. Image that! Having to ask for singles in a strip club!!
- The only bourbon I could find was Jim Beam. But when I found out I could get a beer for 50 cents it didn’t matter.
- No nudity on stage. The girls don’t even take off their tops. That’s reserved for private dances which are bikini or topless, but never nude as far as I know.
- The VIP room is a rectangular room with about 15 or 20 chairs along the walls. This is not necessarily bad. I don’t mind getting a lap dance in a room full of other guys getting lap dances. (I wouldn’t want to get a lap dance where anyone in the bar could watch.) But this place was creepy. Maybe because Nikita and I were the only ones in the room I think I got a little too much attention from the bouncer. I tried not to pay attention to him but I got the feeling he was watching us very closely. Once, when Nikita stood up, I reached to adjust the position of Mr. Happy and the bouncer came over and told me to sit up in the chair with my butt against the back of the chair. Also the room has a concrete floor and is very cold feeling.
- The customer is only allowed to touch the dancer around the waist and back. No butt, no boobs. When Nikita was facing away from me I could caress her back but nothing even close to the ass or breasts.

Overall I was pleasantly surprised. I had previously thought this was a bikini club. It’s more than that and the lap dances I got were good. I fell in love with Nikita, a statuesque, blonde Polish lady who said she was 30 but looked 20.. Well, maybe not in actual “love” but she’s my atf. But I felt obligated to go back and try the 3 for $50 deal upstairs to see if the mileage was any better up there. I’d been told that it was more private and the bouncer wasn’t as intrusive.

So I went back a week later and was determined to make this a scientific experiment. Everything had to be about the same except for the room: same dancer, same time of day, etc. I went back just before noon on a weekday but I had to wait for Nikita to arrive. I asked if she was there and was told she was in the dressing room getting ready. I’m not sure it’s a good idea to appear so eager for one girl but it didn’t turn out badly this time. I went upstairs with Nikita and, although it was more comfortable and private, the lap dances were almost identical to the ones downstairs in the VIP and I could not cop a feel here either. So the verdict is: mileage is no different; comfort is better, privacy is not much better.

I returned about a week later and got a VIP-room dance from another lovely Polish lady whose name I’ve forgotten. She’s shorter than Nikita and has black hair and a great body. I like short girls with big tits and slender legs. This is the only girl in HB who never wears high heels—always shoes that look like ballet slippers. Her lap dance was great and almost identical to Nikita’s, including the way she rubbed her tits over Mr. Happy, but it didn’t quite measure up to Nikita’s. A lap dance is sort of like a movie. The movie critics say that a good movie lets you suspend disbelief, even though you know it’s not real. Well, I think a good lap dancer lets you suspend disbelief. You know it’s her job and she’s only doing it for the money, but if she’s real good she can make you forget that for a couple of minutes—suspend the disbelief that it’s real. That’s why Nikita is my ATF (at least for now).



When you first come in to this club it appears to be nothing more than a bikini bar that serves food. The women are mostly attractive but the dancing on stage is disappointing and it appeared that most of the patrons were not watching the dancers.

The girls worked the room aggressively for the VIP room and I took a couple back. As the other reviews indicated there was not much privacy but that did not stop the dances from being very high contact (one way though, no touching except arount the waist).

They more than made up for the dismal floor show.

I had a very enjoyable time and did not have to spend much. When in Chicago for a short time and if around O'Hare this would be good club to visit.

Went to HB on Monday and saw several new faces. That was good because it seemed like there were very few girls there. Unique was there are hot as ever, but my attention when to new Trixy and an asian looking girl whose name starts with "S". You won't find anyone thinner there. She could be a very good time, but never got a chance to dance with her. I will next time. Trixy is also very small, just my type.
I had a couple of good dances with her. She has been working 2 weeks. Next trip I'll have more time and a better review.

I was disappointed in this club. It was very large and very noisy. There were plenty of girls and they were cruising for interested customers for the VIP. The girls were nice enough but the contact is pretty meaningless and the songs seem very short. Also, there is not much privacy in the VIP room. In fact, there is no advantage to the VIP room. I would say the place is a sports bar with girls dressed provocatively but dressed.

OVERALL, A DISAPPOINTMENT. THIS IS A BIKINI CLUB; SO CUSTOMERS DON'T GET TO SEE ANY PART OF THE GIRLS' BODIES AT ALL--NOT EVEN THEIR BOOBS!

LEVEL OF NUDITY: The whole point of going to a strip club is to see girls take off their clothes. However, at this club none of the girls remove any of their clothes. THIS IS A BIKINI CLUB where girls dance in their bikinis, so customers don't get to see any more than they would if they went to Oak Street Beach or a local swimming pool. I realize that the club has to comply with local laws, and I don't expect the club to break the laws, but it's a waste of time to go to this club since none of the girls take off any of their clothes.

LOCATION/PARKING: I was at O'Hare Airport without a car, so I decided to attend this club because it was the closest to the airport. The club does provide some free parking, and it is certainly convenient to the airport.

GIRLS: The overall quality of girls was average. There were some pretty girls; but there were also some ugly ones. Most of the dancers were white, and there were a few minority dancers as well. Most of the girls have B cup boobs, and a few have A and C cup boobs (although it was difficult to tell since the girls didn't remove any of their clothes)!

SERVICE: The overall level of customer service was below average. I switched seats in order to get a better view and the waitress complained that I had moved to a different seat. The customer should always be able to choose any seat he wants, in my opinion!

PRIVATE DANCES: The club does offer private dances, and a few of the girls approached me to offer a private dance. However, most of the girls appeared to be foreigners (probably illegal immigrants) who could barely speak English. Thus, it was very difficult to tell what was being offered during the private dance.

SUMMARY: The whole point of going to a strip club is to see girls take off their clothes. At this club, none of the girls remove anything, so why bother going at all? I found out from some locals that there are a few fully nude clubs in Chicagoland, so I would advise going to those clubs instead and skipping this club.



This is a strange club. It is bikini in the main room but for private dances it can be topless. It seems the club really is about the lap dance area. The girls are pretty cold and approach the work like a job, not a lot of fantasy or GFE, just good old fashioned stripper doing lap dances. Things I do not like are that they cut the songs short and the girls really appear on the prowl for dances, on the otherhand, there are no misleading cues and you pretty much know exactly what you are getting. The girls are varied and in general, pretty darn hot. If you like eastern european girls, this place is well stocked. There were also some older white women and hispanic women of all ages. Again, most all were dern hot! I do not live in IL. I would not drive an hour to get here, but with the airport being so close and business taking me to chicago, this one is definately worth a stop. If you are into the small club, sit at a table and hold a girls hand as she tells you her life story or listens to you bitch about your crappy life for an hour, this is likely not the club for you. If you like picking a hot girl and spending $15 per 2.75 minute song for her to dance on your lap, you have found a winner!

This was my first time back to HB in maybe 8 months. I was there about noon. Not very crowded, but then I saw her. "Unique". Yes, she was. I sat down and she immediately came over. She is really beautiful with a body to match. Long blonde hair and a great hard body to match. She stayed with me until it was time for her to dance. When she returned to me, we went to the VIP for 5. I'm sorry (happy) to say that I didn't need 5 dances to get happy. I will return a lot sooner now that I have found my dream girl.

Went to HB early on a Monday evening. This was my first trip to a club in Chicago, and while I think Chicago has earned its reputation as a bad town for clubs, HB was not all bad.

I arrived around 6 PM. Paid $10 cover, which is a pretty good deal when you consider that the beers are only 50 cents. This is a pretty basic, garage style place. Three stages (front, rear and main center stage), with a small bar off the center stage. VIP room on the main floor and a champagne room upstairs. Concrete floor. Bar stools and bar tables, no chairs, couches or booths.

I arrived shortly before the shift change and there were 8 - 10 girls and maybe 25 customers. Only one dancer on the stages (center stage only, 2 songs), 3 or 4 working the crowd, a couple in VIP and a couple hanging out. Day shift girls are mostly 6-7, European or Hispanic, with a good mix of types.

They were running a couple of specials: 5 VIP (topless) for $50 or 3 Champagne dances for $50. As I was approached by dancers I asked about both and was directed to the VIP.

VIP is only so-so. Plain chairs around an open room. Girls checked in with a bouncer who was there to keep tabs of which girls were in VIP and not available for the stage. Songs are cut short, but 5 for $50 is not a bad deal. Lots of grinding, but no touching. Both of my VIPs were clear on this. I assume there is some touching in the Champagne room, but probably not great milage.

Night shift cam on around 7:30 and did a little line-up. 15 girls. About 35 customers at this point. Night shift upgraded the girls to 7-8 with maybe a 9. Still a good mix of types. There was a 40-something dancer who was constantly in demand for dances from the 50-60 year olds in the crowd. I saw a few guys go upstairs for the champagne dances. None stayed much longer than 3 or 6 songs, so I don't think it is all that great.

It's hard to beat dancing girls and 50 cent beers, but this place left me wanting more. The girls keep their clothes on while on stage, and I would expect a town like Chicago to have major league talent, and these were minor league girls. Still, if you are near the airport and have the time, it's a fun time.

Was here on a Thursday night a couple of weeks ago. Not many changes here, a few new girls, one in particular caught my eye. Her name was Sadie, a very cute, sweet young Blonde. She worked the pole very well and gave some great dances. There were plenty of girls in all different shapes and sizes. Im sure anyone could find a girl to their liking. The only drawback is that the dancer's wont stay with you for very long. The need to move around so the intimancy can be short lived.

Back to an old favorite, the place is like that ol barcolounger, you know you should get rid of it, but it feels so good. Happened to be in the neighborhood after dropping a friend off at O'Hare on a Thursday night, so I said "what the F**", I may as well see whats new. Well not much, the same old gals with a few new ones, but Eva was there so I had to have an upper deck experience, how does she do that. Feeling a litlte light in the head after a half hour was what makes HBs worth it.

Large place, good looking girls for the most part, but had 2 come over within minutes of arriving who would not take no for an answer on the private dances. Did end up with 2 dances from an attractive blonde, and as another reviewer said its "hit & run".
Dances are in the "VIP" area, concrete floor uncomfortable chairs, $10 bikini & $15 topless, but no privacy.
I donlt think I'll be back.

lots of girls here. a few 9's.
the club was super busy and beer was $3-$4 so that wasn't bad
i got a dance from a real looker "farrah" and she did some amazing tricks on one of the poles about 30 feet in the air

This is a real, "good ol boy" type of club. Well, it's more of a bar atmosphere. Lot's of guys and girls just havin a good time. The dancers are really nice and will always strike up a conversation. Though they are there for your money, they will at least have a good time with you. Would highly recommend a stop in there if you are around the O'hare area.

Being from Dallas, this place is really strange, to say the least.

It is a "bikini bar" which means the girls dance in the main room on stages in bikinis- some thongs- but always covered top and bottom. If you get a dance, it will be in a back room VIP area, either bikini ($10) or topless ($15). or in the upstairs VIP lounge, which I didn't bother with ($$$). Songs generally get cut to 2 minutes, so if $10/song seems like a bargain, think again. The back room VIP area is a small room with a short wall down the middle, and cheap stack chairs around the walls and on either side of the center wall. Garish red paint. Big guy sitting in the doorway with a notepad watching everything. No privacy whatsoever. Dances I experienced were focused on a hard grind to the lap- crotch to crotch. You hands must stay on her waist at all times. You get to look at the boobs, but not touch, and she doesn't touch you with them, or her hands. As soon as your set is over, she gets up and leads you out to your table. No chatting. Just pay up and she moves on.

Some of the girls look nice, hot, sexy, and some are not so, but overall, I say they run 5 to 7's. There is no chatting up of the customer. They hit hard, asking for a dance right up front (mostly) and usually get it. One girl asked how long I had been in the club- when I replied "5 min.", she turned and walked away, saying "have fun". She never returned to me. Too bad, she was cute and sexy.

The cover is $10, which seems absurd until you realize all the food is free- even burgers and fries, and beer is 50 cents a bottle (domestic). I had a burger and fries, and it was OK (esp. for free).

Music is solid, sound system is OK, DJ was somewhat transparent. Otherwise, atmosphere was a darkish warehouse with tall tables and stools. Not pretty, but you didn't come to look at the light fixtures.

In review, I like the cheep beer and "free" food, but I don't like the setup, the short songs, the hit and run dancers, the no touching. Pretty lame in my book.




I stopped by last week and settled in slowly (it was a mon. night, so not as crowded). Had a couple of beers, and some pizza before I started even taking the hustle seriously. I was there for about 3 hours, only about 200-250 lighter, but had a good time with multiple girls. Like I said, not a lot of mileage, but good looking chicks rocking on you lap, with their tops off, I could live with that. Overall, relaxing time and you can not go there expecting anything more.

I always seem to have lots of fun here, and it always seems to cost lots of money! I haven't been in a couple of years, but not much seems to have changed, I think the domestic beers are a buck now, a deal that is pretty hard to beat in stripclub land. I think the only girl I knew from the old days was Cindy, just caught a glimpse of her as she was headed off to the VIP upstairs room. Overall the girs didn't look as good as they used to, but it was Sunday night and pretty slow. Spent most of my time with Natasha, an incredibly beautiful and vivacious, Barbie type blonde girl (my favorite type), who is as sweet as she is beautiful, she is a ton of fun to be with. A perfect combination of personality and looks, at least for my incredibly good taste. Your mileage may vary, but if you treat her right she'll treat you right. Another plus was she and I share a birthday, and I've never had that happen before in a club! I'm glad I don't live too close to the club, or I'd have to buy it to be able to afford sepding the time with the likes of Natasha and my all time favorite Ava!

I must say one of the real advantages of living in strip club hell (Chicago) is that it saves me the time and the money that I'd most assuredly blow if there was even a hint of a decent club near my house. Consequently my experiences have been limited to when we vacation in a city with a decent SC scene (Las Vegas, Windsor, SF). Unfortunately for me Heavenly Bodies will definitely test my self restraint.

I've always thought of HB as sort of a dumpy/sleazy place. When I've driven by it always looks like it's half finished. A big half assed building right on the corner, sort of sticks out like a big pimple on the corner. The parking lot is gravel and pot holed. I just never gave it a whirl since it just wasn't an appealing place.

Last night the wife visited her sister for the weekend and I was left to my own devices. The Cubs had already lost this afternoon, so I thought what the heck let's go.

When I arrived I immediately thought of turning back. It was 10:30pm and the lot was already full. The patrons walking in didn't look like classy patrons that I'm used to seeing at Las Vegas clubs. I felt over dressed in a polo and silk pants. Entering the place, there's a long hallway with a thuggish guy at the door at the end. Most of the guys and 2 gals were smoking away. Once again while we were waiting and waiting (it turned out to only be about 10 minutes) I thought of turning back and going home. Just at about the time I was going to do that, a clot in the artery was removed and the line miraculously moved into the club. The check in girl was really cute and entry was only 10 bucks, which is pretty cheap. You get this token that you have to slide into a turnstile. Whatever!

Inside HB is a fairly good sized place with TVs all over the place showing sports. Much to my amazement, domestic bottled beer was only 50 cents; Sam Adams and higher scale beers were 2 bucks. There was free pizza constantly being brought out and cut into slices. I suddenly didn't feel so bad. There were three stages with guys sitting around them and the girls were pretty attractive if only bikini clad.

I wanted to sit at a table, but I found out that as a single guy, I'd have to pay an extra 10 bucks for two hours. Otherwise I was welcome to sit at the stages or along the wall, which isn't the greatest.

For the most part I was able to shun the advances of most of the girls. They were pretty hustly and upfront about wanting to dance. I couldn't see any girls dancing for patrons, but I was to find out that all the private dancing was in a separate room.

There was a cute Debra Winger look a like who was making the circuit though and I lazer beamed my eyes towards her, but she didn't seem to notice. She looked friendly enough and not as hustly as the other gals. She had a great smile and would put her hand on a guys leg or his shoulder and just talk for a short bit before moving on. Some ogre wound up taking her up on her offers so she disappeared for a long while.

Meanwhile I made the mistake of doing a double take. A gorgeous blonde with an incredible hard body walked by in a teeny-tiny bikini. She caught me and immediately gave me the hustle. Wow, she was good looking, almost perfect, but not plasitc. She seemed older but she was in hardbody shape and she was hot.
Her name was Heather, hair stylist by day (most dancer's proclaimed professions are bogus, but I believed her) strip club goddess by night. Heather went through a dizzying array of options. Go back to the VIP room where there were 10 dollar bikini dances and 15 dollar topless. Topless whoo hoo! I thought this was a bikini bar. Upstairs there is another more important VIP room, I guess MIVIP room where there are couches and its more comfortable. "We can sit and talk better up there" (yeah OK) for 50 dollars for 3 songs. I'm no math whiz, but that's 5 bucks more than regular VIP room. She also said for 200 dollars we could go to the MIVIP have drinks, sit on the couch, have dances for 40 minutes. After all that, I opted for the VIP room thinking that with her tiny bikini top, I could get away with 10 dollar dances.

I walked back with her holding my beer. That's not going to be allowed Mr. overseer of the VIP room said. So I had to surrender my Sam Adams. The VIP room is horrific. Just a cement floor, garishly painted walls and dimly lit with TV screens along the wall. Patrons are in chairs spaced about 4 feet apart. It was nauseating at first. However I saw something that I never saw in a Chicago club: CONTACT!!! Wow! Maybe things have loosened up a bit.

Heather informed me that I could only touch her waist. But after demonstrating to her that I wasn't Ogre, she actively allowed me to touch her just about anywhere except you know where. Somewhere along the way I lost my mind and asked her for a topless dance. She did have magnificent breasts. Yes they were enhanced but not overly so. She had a wonderful waist, I could just lick it up. Her legs were incredbile and she had a firm round butt. What a hottie. And man could she grind away. "That's one song" she said. "I have to ask if you want more". "That's two. That's three. That's four. I hope you don't mind, I just want to make sure it's OK" I thanked her for doing so, but I wanted another. Things were intense. She was starting to dig me and I her. She was kissing me and riding me. She did a handstand and rubbed her incredible body upside down across my body. She showed off her incredible legs and her hard body hardened by her years as a gymnast. She doesn't work out at all now she says. She likes to sun bathe on her days off at the beach. She wears tiny bikinis so her tan lines are just so. She loves to go to Las Vegas where she can sun bath topless. She loves to see the reaction of men to her incredible body. Heather was a dream. She was older, more mature and very hot. "That's fifteen" Should I go on. Yes, yes, yes.

When I walked out of the VIP room with Heather and my now warm Sam Adams in tow, I was 400 dollars lighter in the wallet. She said she would work until 4am, but I never saw her again. She probably was waiting for a guy like me so she could call it an early night. I didn't feel ripped off. She was so hot. It was incredible.

I decided to stick around. Have some free pizza and watch the baseball highlights. Debra Winger was still making the rounds. I expectantly looked at her with the lazer beams, but she was hustling other guys not paying much attention to me. She got another guy to go to the VIP. I bought one more Sammy and I thought of calling it a night when much to my surprise, Debra Winger was at the middle stage. I rushed over there with dollar bills in hand. "Haven't I seen you before" she asks. "No" I said honestly since she didn't seem to notice me before. "Weren't you sitting over by the wall?" I told her that I was. She gave me a wry smile wiggled her cute rear end at me and allowed me to slide the dollar bill in her garter. "You're cute" she says. After her dance she was accosted by an Ogre. I thought WTF this isn't my night. I decided to grab a piece of pizza and finish my Sammy and hit the road.

"There you are" Debra says. "I thought you ran away from me. My name is Chloe".

God I love Chloe. She's got that scratchy voice just like Debra Winger, in fact she's a dead ringer for Debra Winger. She oozes sex. She led to the VIP room and once again like a dope I asked for topless. Chloe was much lighter, much smaller than Heather. She was gentler as she riggled in my lap. She started singing parts of one song, a countryish song by Chris Rock(?) and Sheryl Crow. She smiled as she sang and riggled. She was about to turn around and grind me with her back facing me. I asked her to just continue what she was doing. She was so damn cute bouncing gently on my lap. "I love your pants" she says. "Most guys where jeans. They can't feel a thing and neither can I. Plus they're rough on my skin. Your pants are soft and I can feel your hard cock". God I was ready to explode. I began touching and hugging this girl. I wanted to eat her up, she was so cute.

Well, all I can say, it was a great night. I'll have to put in some overtime now at work which will serve two purposes: it'll be less time that I spend here and it'll give me more $$$$ to blow when I do spend time here. I really like this place, even though it's filled with ogres and it could use a face lift. The cheap beer and pizza make me think it'd be a great place to hang out with my buddies watching the game. In between we can blow 4 or 5 large in the VIP room.

Such a deal!



This is still the best deal in the Chicago area. $10 cover includes bottomless soft drinks and domestic bottled beers for .50 cents/each. Its only a bikini club, but the girls will take their tops off in the private dance area. There is pretty decent variety of girls on most nights with a high percentage of eastern european girls. You don't get much in the way of conversation as most of the girls are too busy working the next dance.

All in all its a Chicago club that is consistent with this area. If you're on a budget, this place is for you!

I just went to HB and was a bit dissapointed. There were several very sweet and attractive girls, but the songs were literally 2 minutes long!! I timed them and one of the dancers said they always cut them to 2 minutes at this place. If you figure most songs are normally over 4 minutes and they cut them to 2 minutes the Dances are now not $10, but more like $25. I had two sets of 5 songs with 2 different verynice girls, but they were by no means worth the equivalent of $25 dollars per song. The beers were 50cents (after the $10 cover), so if you are going out drinking go here! If yor are looking for miles per dollar, I woul look elsewhere :-(

This place is freakin incredible! The girls all have great attitudes and the lap dances will make you go home happy. I went on a Tuesday night and it was hopping. I waited around a while not planning on doing much and almost left without a dance. I approached one girl thinking I'd have one for the road and that one turned into 1 hour of dances.

You won't get the absolutely stunning dancers here (maybe a couple) but that doesn't take away from the "ambiance"

Word to the wise - leave you credit cards and atm's at home! Take a pre-planned cash limit with you and when you're done leave! The dances are little too good sometimes. Plus the ATMs are major major rips off's - like you wouldn't believe. In fact the ATM is about the only reason I don't give a 9.

OK, now I know why they have an upstairs at HB's. It is private and the girls appreciate the extra $$ and it shows in the level of effort, while the downstairs is great, the upstairs is better if and I mean if you pick the right girl. Check out who goes upstairs and if she is to your liking give it a whirl, a tilt-a-whirl that is. Not telling who I went upstairs with, cause you will all be lining up for her.

This place is fun. It is down to earth. I was there late in the afternoon. Most of the ladies are nice and do not push. I had a dance with Alexis, a cute blond. She provided a very sexy dance. I will be back.

Went to Allstars last Friday during the day. No cover till 8 pm. Drinks are $5.00 for a beer, $8.00 + for a mixed drink. There were about 15 dancers working that day, most of them the same ones that have been there for a quite some time. Dances are discounted from 3-5 pm to $20. Regular price is $30. Most of the girls like to have a drink or two and will party with you for a while, especially if you get a dance or two. Dances are in a semi private booth and depending on the dancer can be good. There are two very hot and fun waitresses working there now, both former dancers at the club. Good club to have fun at.

What can you say about a club that charges you $10 to walk in the door, gives you free pizza and sandwiches and only charges you 50 cents a beer? I say GREAT Googly-Woogly or something like that. Just that set-up alone would make a great sports bar concept with almost 30 TV's showing some sort of sports or soft-porn in any direction you can look. Yeah, there are the shortened songs that you only hear in a club like this and yeah, it's a bikini club but you can get a topless one for only $15 a song, in an area that resembles a Greyhound Bus Station waiting area.

The first thing you see is a beer girl with a tub of cold long-necks in a darkened room that resembles an unfinished basement. A bar which has too few seats and dozens of cabaret tables and stools arrayed around three stage areas. There is always a high quantity of talent walking around in bikini, lingerie, or some sort of non-revealing outfit. She may be 18 or 39 years old. Bottle-blonds, brunettes, Latinas, Blacks, Buxomed or Barely a B-Cup. Fluent in European languages or incredibly shy and limited to "wanna dance?" You can get wasted on drinks amd spend $10 asong for a very good grind 'em til he creams series of dances or spend 5 for $50 to the same dancer up front and she will take her top down for your $25 discount.

Overall; you could do much worse in Chicago for the value of food, drink and grindage. It's exteremely crowded late on the weekends. OK to stop in for a late lunch during mid-day. Come enjoy it now, before they make it the end of a proposed runway at O'hare airport.

Back again to one of the favorites. Went for a friends birthday on a Saturday night. As usual on the weekend it was pretty crowded. We had a group of 10 and the only place they could fit us was in the side area near the VIP room. Not the best place to be as you only can see the front stage and most of the dancers just pass by as they are walking customers to or from the VIP room. We had some females in our group and the dancers were very friendly making them feel welcome. There have been alot of females here as patrons recently. As usual there were many beautiful dancers , one who stood out was a hot California girl looking blond (I wish I could remember her name). She was a favorite with the girls in the group as well as the guys. You still can't beat teh $10 cover and cheap drinks. Thsi place would get a better rating with a little more intimate VIP room but overall worth it.

This is a big, noisy place. Lots of girls and loads of noisy guys. To me it seemed like more of a sports bar than anything else. The girls are attractive, but the dances are very uninspiring and very short -- pretty expensive given the time that they last. I dont really plan to go back.

I revisited this club after a long absence, and not much has changed except the roster of girls. I was in on a Friday afternoon; the parking lot is still rutted and the entry fee is still $5. You get (at least daytime) free sandwiches (cheeseburger, grillled cheese, etc); beer $3.50. So that's not so bad.

I like my girls with tits (why go to a topless bar otherwise?), and at least on this Friday, they were a bit lacking in this department. Biggest girl there might have been a C+. On the other hand, most at least appeared to be natural (a couple of minor enhancements perhaps, but nothing gross). In there favor, the girls do give good grindage in the lap area, and do allow some touching (legs, waist, back), but the bouncers watch like hawks. The smart girls offer some conversation or a backrub before asking for a dance, and they got me to go back for a dance; there are always the 'wannadance' girls, and they got dropped. The girls onstage seem to have forgotten that the stage is a great place to sell lapdances, and just sashayed around the stage without making eye contact or seeming to much care about the patrons.

I had dances from three different girls, all who showed some interest in me first, not just 'wanndance', and I enjoyed myself with them. A more private and relaxed lapdance area with less intrusive bouncers might have led to more dances/action, but hten, this is CHicago after all.

Living in the area, it depends upon the night you visited this club as to what is happening. The other night I saw the girls standing around. One saves a lot of money on these nights. The girls seem lazy that evening. $10 still gets you in. $10 gets you a short song lapdance. $15 gets you a short song topless lapdance. VIP room upstairs are more expensive. but essentially pointless. Patricia is a good dancer. Some nice girls with big ones. Be careful of the dancers that try to suck you in with the girl friend approach. Some use this approach and have long lines of followers that prove its effectiveness. Always remember it is all about the $$$$. Have fun but don't go broke. Also, if you are used to Dallas, or other Texas type clubs, you will be very disappointed in Chicago clubs. Pretty lame in comparison. There are a few new girls, but basically its the usual suspects. Thalia is gorgeous all over, but some say her dances are weak, Adrianna is cute, but also may be a weak. Sylvia on days is very nice. Bailey is very toned and stylish (maybe too sm for you), Naomi my meet you're tastes. But, you may need to go blond with Farrah, Lorrie, and Ava. Their dance specials are not bad. The dancers are fat, skinny, busty, flat, young, and old girls.

Went to this club on 2/25. Saturday night. If a bikini club is what you are interested in, this is a good one. Lots of girls (probably 40) , three stages, and reasonably priced drinks. If you are interested in topless clubs, you need to go far South (Harvey IL) to find the same quality of club.

I went there at 4:00 this Friday and the place was 80% full with guys.The cover was $10.00 and domestic beers were $0.50.They have nice flat screen televisions around the room with sports channels on all the time.There were 10 girls dancing during this shift and they now have new VIP room prices.5 dances for $50.00 in a private setting.There is another VIP-Champagne deal which you have to reserve with a girl and pre-pay with management.The talent was better than my last trip here three weeks ago,ranging from 5's to 8's with three really nice-9- blondes.

Overall one of the better clubs in the Chicago area. There are a couple of things that make this club stand out amongst the Chicago land clubs; quality of the girls, and reasonable drink prices. The negative points are; the songs are cut ridiculously short and club décor is awful.

I went to HBs last week on Friday - very crowded and tough to get a seat. I did not get lucky with the waitress, way too slow. Some waitresses are better than others in serving beverages and I tipped way above the minimum. Expected better service. The girl quality has gone down hill, a lot less european hotties. The local hotties are few and far in between. I tried to get a dance with Eva, she is a hottie. But she was too busy. I did not see the hot Bulgarian chick - I think her name is Aurora. I did dance with Collette, she just got back from Lithuania and looking as hot as ever. But the choices of woman are slim and quality of ladies has decreased. Management should get their act together.

Back to HB's after a bit of a sabbatical. Toured the former eastern bloc this evening, started with a Bulgarian lass with dark hair and those F me shoes and legs to the ceiling, a fabulous grindage. Then had a 5 dance set with the blond Polish Princess, very sensual, but was saving my final $$$ for that Lithuanian Hottie Eva, OMG what a dance makes you believe your the only one there........awesome, always busy though. Well happy lapping

Back to HB after a time spent paying off a few bills, the girls were outstanding this time around. Had a few dances with some girls I had never had before. A Bulgarian girl with those F me shoes on was a grinding knockout, then had one with a a Polish girl with blond hair, awesome, then had the chance to have one with Eva, the Lithuanian goddess, off the Fing charts, way to sensual for me. She always seems to be busy and I know why, she makes you feel like your the only one in the room.

This place is always a) affordable with cheep domestic beer at $.50 per bottle and b) fun because the girls are friendly and ploite.The talent this night was very good and I enjoyed dances with several girls at $20 per dance.Try Erica sometime,an older gal with a tremendous body.

Solid club, certainly a great value with the free food and low priced beer, etc. But I did not go there to eat, most of the women were in the 6-8 range in terms of quality. There are a few eastern european women who are quite attractive but very mechanical/workmanlike in their dancing. What do you expect I guess... There was an african-american gal who was very athletic who was a riot to talk to and we had a good time upstairs in the VIP room, can not exactly remember the total price but know it was less than $150.00. Would definetly go the next time I am in the O'hare area.

One fine strip bar. Lots of ladies with a mix of American and European woman. Aurora is very cute with a killer body. Her dances are top notch. I only danced with a few woman, but Aurora stood out. But what a deal, Ten dollars all you can eat and drink. The best strip bar in the Chicago area.

HB's moving upon the scale due to some recent new girls, after a rare Blackhawks win, we made our way to HB's. It was packed and after a couple of bucks to the bouncer, we had a a table to ourselves. Love the 50cent beers, and after a few minutes a couple of new girls that I had not had the privelege of getting the HB grind from showed up. The first was Talia with fab eyes and an equally nice bottom, my buddy took Collette a european, who no one complains about. Talia had the best "F" me eyes I've every seen, and I couldn't just stop with one which turned in to 6, with my shorts be a straining, I passed out. A new favorite. Go Hawks.

Went back to thi club for the first time in about 6 months. Alot of new faces. Dancers seems to always be changing at this place. Beer is .50 a piece and the waitresses are hit or miss as far as service. The place still looks dungy with those cement floors. They need to tile or carpet it or something. The dances range from 5-9 looks wise. Alot of European girls there. VIP dances are not worth the time, better of getting the normal dances. Overall a good place to drink cheap beer and relax and enjoy the view.

Went to this club today, Tuesday, from 5-8. The club is located in an industrial area with a good size parking lot that is brightly lit. Cover was ten dollars which included free thin crust pizza squares and pretzels. Domestic beer was only 50 cents a bottle. The inside was nice, pretty spacious with small pub tables but lighting was pretty dark. Shift change started at 7:30. They had a total of 30 girls from both shifts with some girls overlapping the shifts so perhaps 20 girls per shift. The girls wear lingerie but what they were is the way it stays when they do the show on stage - no stripping at all but decent dancing. The girls were pretty good looking, 6-8 perhaps. Most of the girls were white, many of which were from countries like Russia and Poland, with a few asians and latinas mixed in. I picked a Czech girl from the day shift for a dance in the VIP. They offer $10 clothed dances and $15 topless ones. I took the latter and it was a nice friction dance. She had me keep my hands on her hips during the dance but she knew how to move. The only thing that I didn't care for was the watching bouncer. She goes by the name of Chelsea, she was wearing a pink outfit, she is skinny with long blond hair with an apple ass. Her schedule she gave me is Tuesday-Friday till 7:30 each day. The next girl I chose was Serease, not sure the spelling, who was from the night shift. She is a Korean-American with a very slim and fit body - she runs a lot she said. She was great to talk to but I only got the $10 dance from her. It was good but not great like Chelseas - not sure if she gives better if you do the 15 dollar dances or if she even offers them. Overall, I liked it and probably would go back and the only thing keeping me from giving it a 9 or 10 is the lack of stripping/nudity.

Relatively hot girls, cheap dances, decent atmosphere, and unpleasant odors sums this place up. The first thing I noticed was that this place was very near the ghetto. I recommend approaching from the north to avoid being car-jacked. Second, it was dark. It took a while for my eyes to adjust. The plastic chairs for dances were a little uncomfortable and the contact was average, but for $10, who can complain. The girls were all fairly attractive, but some of them had a bit of a musty b/o mildew smell to them. Maybe dirty outfits? Not pleasant. This place is halfway to IS from Chicago. I would bite the bullet and hit Indiana. As a final note, the stage tip can lead to an up close encounter with...well...a special place. Again, watch out for unpleasant smells.

I have been to this a dozen times in the last 6 months. Two personalities to the club; the lunch crowd and the evening crowd. Lunch crowd (noon to 5PM) is more laid back and in my opinion far better looking ladies. The girls are more patient and willing to chat b4 hitting u up for a dance. I'm not crazy about the evening crowd. The girls are look for the quick hit and seem a little less enthusiastic - does the word churn ring a bell? Nice atmosphere overall, clean. Nothing ruanchy. Ill give specific dancer reviews in my next post.

Not sure if it is kind of a rule now. But quite a few visits in a row, on the thrid dance the girls kneel down and rub their chest all over your lap (to word it nicely). They must use it as a little hook to get you to do at least three dances. Has anyone else noticed this? I will see what happens next visit.

Just this weekend I went to Heavenly Bodies up in Elk Grove Village... Okay Lets just say WOW!!! OKay the women are hot there.. if you are looking for White Or Hispanic.... And I mean HOT!!! Paid $10 To get through the door.. Mandatory coat check which is free and well... drinks are free from the waitress, but make sure you tip or she will never come back to see how you are doing... It's really hard to find a spot to sit down and well it's crowded when I got there at about 11... If you have extra money I advise sitting in the VIP section... it costs another $10 to sit up there but at least you have a seat and are not constantly looking... or if you do sit on the floor... you will have to share with other people... some are nice, but some are just plain rude... Also another bad thing about sitting on the floor.. Security will move you in a heartbeat if there are open seats at your table... Usually there are three to Four Chairs to a table... So... come in a pack... but if you sit in the VIP section you don't get kicked out until your time is up... But in the VIP Section... women come to you more cause well they thing you have more money... and the Waitresses come to you first... Okay as for the dances there... they are friction dances.. but only topless... $15 in a room with a bunch of other people.. then $40 for couch dances on the second floor... and then if you go all out and spend a Half Hour with a girl it will cost you $125 and you go into another area with couches where she dances for like 4 or 5 songs and then you talk for the last 15 minutes... The girl that I was with Shyla... very nice girl.. also told me that there is a $200 dance for a half hour where they dance for the full Half hour... but not too sure... Okay when I first got there... Really didn't feel comfortable there.. cause well.. I was surrounded by white people... Again.. don't get me wrong... I am not raceist... but the women interacted with the white men before interacting with me.... Didn't happen until Way later in the night.. and also my waitress that I was sitting at She sucked big time... got my drink wrong and didn't come back.. after I tipped... But once Security moved my friend and I to a different section things started to pick up... Better Waitress who made a good $100 in tips from me took care of me coming back like almost every 10 minutes... to see how I was doing.. and the dancers started to come by in herds.... Over all I would have to say it was a good experience... but still kinda felt out of place.... Me Personally I would go back whenever I get a chance, but it's a long drive for me... but if you are in the area I highly recommend Heavenly Bodies... just bring lots of money... Oh Yeah One more thing... They do take Credit Cards.. but charge a 12% access fee.. cause it's like a Cash Advance thte club does for customers... If you really need to go for it... but they are really slow on getting you your card back... and well... 12% really does add up... Anyway... go with friends be respectful to everyone and you should have a great time... But Anyway

Was here about a month ago after a long hiatus. The same tired old girls were there from 6 months back. Mostly eastern european girls in the 5-7 range. Too much of the "would you like a dance..." Clientele seemed relatively young without much cash to throw around which causes much of the "would you like a dance" attitude.

My friends got some dances that they recounted as just "okay." In the Chicago area, there really aren't great shake clubs, so this one is somewhat of a defacto choice. There was no Mallory, Autumn, Veronica, Dakota, Casey or Aurora there that night, so the tired old crew just didn't cut it.

Been hearing mixed reviews on Polekatz and Club O, but nothing that would merit a hike to those far edges of the city.

Feeling a bit horny as I passed Heavenly Bodies on my way to watch the Sox play and made sure that after a night of baseball that an evening of debauchery would take place. Place was packed after the White Sox lost to the Angels, but the girls of HB were there to improve the spirits of any SOX fan. While I have never had the pleasure of Farah's company, too mercernary, she had those thigh highs that just got me thinking with my little head. Took me back to the VIP, and lets just say that I forgot all about the SOX losing, and now that there even up I hope to go back for a dose of Farahs victory laps

Went ot the Heavenly Bodies on 09/305 which was a Friday. This place was packed when I got there at about one in the morning. The drinks are dirt cheap and the free pizza and pretzels are a plus for snacking while waiting for a dance. A good mix of clients so you don't feel out f place here. The girls are mostly European, with latin, american and black beauties as well. Dances are good for the price ($15.00) since most girls aim to please here. The dances take place in the back room in plain sight of all other clients getting a dance as well. You feel like security is watching you as soon as you walk in the back room. VIP dance area upstairs is a rip-off. Only difference is different room and seating for a higher price of course. Overall a good time.

For you lunch time people. I stopped last firday and last tuesday, just by chance I was in the area. At open 11:30am there are about five gilrs working all rated about 4 to 6. The better ones do not show up until about 1:00pm. Just an observation for someone who wants to stop by and get back to work after lunch.

I stopped by again here a few weeks ago and there were definitely some 8's and 9's, but some how there is not that usual hustle for the dances. I always enjoyed the dances here (although there is not much mileage, but they are cheap). Since you get the free beer, it works out pretty well overall. This is a great club just to hangout and relax for some time, if you are not looking for extras from the dances.

Went yesterday for the first time in several months. It was like a different club as far as the dancers go. I didn't recognize anyone. I talked to Dawn, the waitress, and she asked me if I see anyone I know. I didn't. Not too many girls making the rounds. How do they make money? One girl came up to me and said " Do you want a dance? My boobs are real." Too much perfume and too short of the songs. I'll come back another time.

I was at this club last week, and it looks like they cleaned out the old dancers and brough in new ones. I didn't recognize anyone. Still the same layout down stairs to small stages and one main stage. Waitressess have an attitude on them. I joked about not getting my drink fast enough and thought I was going to get it poured on me. The dancers there were all about 7-8 a few scary ones, but hey, what place doesnt. Still free pizza, and cheap drinks. Most of the girls seemed interested in talking to you before asking you for a dance. Not a bad place to hit before you head out for the night.

I was once again in the Chicago last week on business and thougth I would go by my favorite club in the O'Hare area. Every time I go to this club I see a new and different crop of women. I am go to this club because of the low entrance fee-$10 and the cheap lap dance fees - also $10K per dance in the VIP room. There is an upstairs SkyBox room where teh dances are more expensive and have not tried those. Any info on that area from someelse would be appreciated.
The first girl I meet was an Eastern European named Chrtine. Cute blond with average tits. I agreed to a Dance and she gave me the Dance of our lives. She did this thing where she put her legs over my shoulder and grinded me as hard and close as I have ever had.
Anyway-after 4 upclose and personal dances I went back to the Hotel very satisfied. I cannot wait to go back on my next trip to Chicago.

Had not been to the ORD hot spot in a couple of months, but made an shift change visit last Weds., the day shift was ok, but the night shift has added a couple of hotties. A new/old Lithuanian girl is back by the name of Collette, and she was amazing, nice petite girl with rock hard breasts and a fabulous lapper. Make sure you do not miss her return engagement.

Heavenly Bodies is close to the airport but not exactly easy to get to. It can be a little confusing around the toll road and freeway intersections. It is not the most impressive location but it serves its purpose. The dancers are above average and the dances are cheap. Unfortunately the songs are short and if you are not careful your song can be over before the dancing really begins.

Was at this place for the first time while on business in Chicago. 10:00 PM on a Wednesday and hardly an open seat in the place. As others have mentioned, lots of girls, probably at least 35 or 40 and 150 customers.
Girls dance on one of two small stages and circulate for lap dances, enjoyed 2 of the $15 topless dances from a tall (6' plus) model quality girl, dances were OK, not great but OK. Then had the 2 for $40 topless dances from a stunning eastern European girl in the VIP area upstairs, great dance and more private than the area downstairs.
Will definitly return.

Still one of my fave places in the chicago area but things have started to slip. The chicks are not as hot and the rules are really started to be followed. Lap dances are not what they use to be. Still one of my favorites but not what it use to be.

Have been to heavenly bodies several times over the last month. This is a very busy club compared to the other ones in the Chicago suburban area. During the evenings, you can have up to 100 customers and 30 or so dancers on hand. Dancers are not allowed to drink or smoke on the floor, so partying with them is limited. Mostly what you get is a few pleasantries a little flirting and an offer for a dance within 10 minutes. The dancers move from guy to guy rather quickly. The dances are good, a one way grind, no touching, and the songs are short. Many different variety of girls, with a lot of europeans with broken english skills. $10 cover charge to get in. $10 dollars for a dance with top on, $15 topless. Options to go upstairs with a dancer into a more comfortable setting. The prices change everytime I go so dont want to quote anything there. Good club if you want to try many different girls, not so good if your looking to sit down and party with the girls

10 dollar cover and then free beer all night, sure the club looks weak from the outsie, but hey we are coming for the dancers! So in that regard his my list of FAVS:
Best Legs: Eva
Best Ass: Baily
Best Chest: Andromeda(real), Monique
Nicest Girls: Carla, Thalia, Naya
Best Lap Dance: Elecktra(who is back) Farrah, Ciara
Best Stage: Rainbow, Elecktra, Farrrah
HOTTEST all around: Baily, Farrah
OTHER GOOD GIRLS: Adriana, Hannah, Champaign, Alex

Wow, cheap beer and cheap titties aplenty here. If you are traveling to Ohare, this is nearby. There are 2 clean motels across the street (Exel inn and Super 8) with shuttles to the airport - especially if the nearly free beer gets the best of you. I went through lot of cash here. Girls pay $5 per dance to the house. One Japanese girl -older- wouldn't take a fucking straight out NO for an answer, very annoying. Mulan, Bambi Alexis? & others all good. Mixed younger and small/natural tops and enhanced girls. Some girls were too rough for me on the laps, others great++, didn't get anything beyond what the house rules allow. Don't commit to more than a $10 until ya try her out. This place is a blast, recommended.

Whenever I come to Chicago on business I always stop by this club. The dances vary but at $10 per dance I always figure it is worth trying out new talent.

As you would expect some girls are much better than others but the grind factor is normally very high. My only real issue with this club is that this is a grind only club no touching.

Also the $10 cover includes all the beer you can drink so it a nice place to watch girls and drink a few beers.

Have just been to this club recently again and I can not but just like this place. I can not imagine any place where you can get all the beer you want for 20 bucks and change and decent topless dances for $15 a piece. Its pretty decent contact and depending on the girl, the grinding is better.

Well, I had a quite a few dances with a long legged blonde (eastern european) and I can't complain about anything. Well, I can always hope for more, but this was good.

I went there around 8 PM on a Wednesday night. The building is fairly beat up. I was a little hesitant since I am used to the sort of lavish exteriors one sees in Houston (Treasures, Men's Club). My fears were not relieved once I got in either.

The place definitely needs some work. The floors are rough and scuffed up. The bar stools are shaky and the tables were dirty. The music, mostly rock and a little hip hop, was not too loud. The girls mingled very well - I didn't see alot of the usual girl-regular interaction. It might have been because I was early.

The girls were pretty hot though. I will admit that in the dark lighting most were at least 7's. There are a cou