the ultimate strip club list

September 8, 2008  •  Vol. 15, Issue 251

This place has had numerous names throughout the years. I remember the very first time I went they actually had feature dancers and pornstar Serenity stuck her pussy right in my face. The ethnicity has also changed from primarily latin to primarily black and back again, etc, etc. I guess it depends on who owns it at the time. The place is not hard to find but very easy to drive by the entrance since the clubs floorplan is long and narrow. Hialeah Hospital is across the street and I recommend parking there if you drive a rather expensive vehicle and walking across the street. I sometimes park at the Miami Subs across the street on LeJeune RD. This is a bit of a dangerous club if you know what I mean. If they wand you at the entrance this is a pretty good indication. There is a main stage where girls do a 3 song set then come around to every customer begging for a dollar. Then there is the bar and a room in the back with a pool table. It is so dark back there that I have no idea how they see the balls. The girls are very average looking and are probably dancing to support their boyfriends and 5-6 kids. I did not get asked for a private dance so I am not sure how that goes nowadays but it is not hard to imagine. So just protect your car or go in a rental car, do not get drunk in here, always keep an eye on your drink and have fun.

PLEASE READ REVIEW and forget about my number ratings.

This club has had about 7 names in the last 10 years; currently TUSCL has it listed as Club Passions. It is now called Hialeah Gold Gentlemen's Club. The phone number on the little advertising post card is 305-836-1525; it advertises a free lunch Monday thru Friday between 2 PM and 5 PM.

I showed up around 9:30 PM and fortunately the tiny parking lot isn't full. After entering the club, I pay $3 to park and $5 cover plus requested tip adding another $1.

The club is medium sized to a little small. My first impression as I'm walking in is that it is too upscale for my tastes; a waitress tries to seat me or tells me I have the option to go to the bar. I go to the small bar against the east wall and order a Bud Light for $5.50 plus an additional $1 tip. There is an identical small bar on west wall, but there wasn't a bartender. Also along the east wall is the main stage, a raised square, with the DJ booth at the end against the wall. On the north end is The Vip Room which is where lap dances are offered; northwest end the Champagne Room was being renovated and was unavailable; on the south end the small pool table room was being used as a Champagne Room. :( It used to be fun to shoot pool with the dancers and others in semi-privacy.

My first impression was that there was plenty of blubber. Everywhere I looked the dancers had plenty of pounds, but at least most were short: Mini-Whales. This huge latin white WHALE immediately makes a bee line for me. Very friendly and she offers to sit and talk. I decline her generous offer because I'm NOT attracted to WHALES. This is a Latin club and not only where the customer practically all Latins it seemed like all the dancers were as well.

Later a bunch of really short dancers arrived and they looked a hell of a lot better than the Mini-Whales and WHALES. It seemed like to work at this club a dancer had to be white or very light skin. As I was leaving a very dark black dancer entered the club. The number of dancers to customers was excellent; seemed like around 40 dancers and about 20 customers. Best of all it didn't seem like the dancers were hiding in the dressing room. :) For my tastes there was only one small dancer who would rate super hot, but she kept her clothing on.

Prices: Table dances are $10 and are given in the main club area; Lap dances are $25 and are given in The Vip Room; Champagne Room is $50 per half hour and whatever deal you negotiate with the dancer. In addition to the other prices I've mentioned after the dancers complete their set on the main stage generally she will go around the club looking for a tip (I give a $1).

When this was Club Passions, a $5 club, it was a 10 rating every which way---from contact to quality of the girls. I didn't meet any dancers that I know from other clubs or from prior visits. I ended up leaving after about an hour and headed for Club Cat (formerly VIP Club) on NW 79th Street just about a block west of NW 7th Avenue.

Bottom line is that if you like light skin Latin dancers and don't mind paying the money, then this is a club you may really like. I'll stay with the down and dirty $5 clubs. :)


The best thing about this club is its proximity to the airport. A $10 cab ride will take you there. the club itself is very small, dark and dingy. It has one main stage and two mini stages. The girls are 5-7 with maybe one 8 or 9. The milege is very low compared to other clubs in florida specially FLL. Drinks are pretty strong and the bartenders do a great job of giving a generous pour. The ladies will ask you for drinks but at $6 a drink its not too bad. The LD are the usual 20 in evenings though I have had $15 during the day. Like I said the milege is not huge, YMMV.

My suggestion would be to hit the one in FLL and skip this one.

The service was lousy and the girls seemed disintrested in the customers.I tried to get one of the dancers attetion,but she was to busy talking to the bartender.

Wide range of dancers from very cute to pretty horrid, about 50-50, and some of the girls are pretty pushy about getting tipped when they get off stage (can't tip 'em when ON stage). BUT... it's full nude and the lap dances are real LAP dances (some contact allowed, depending on the girl). DID get to see some girl on girl action on the stage later in the night :) One warning, it's not in the best part of town... a lot of wannbe "gangtas" and "thugs" for customers.

While this club was dark, dingy, and nothing spectacular from the looks, the girls there are ready and willing to make sure you are happy with your visit. Many of the girls hovered around the bar area, but quite a few made their way over to say hello and ask if I wanted a dance, which included giving me a sneak preview. I chose a cute, petite, blond girl for my dance. She was amazing...the best dance I have ever gotten. She had no problem at all with roaming hands and while she kept her panties on, she also didn't mind me pulling them aside to see the goods. I'd recommend this club to anyone who has the time to stop by.

I remember this club from a few years ago. It is still a little filthy inside but not abhorrent. There is an older hispanic gentleman outside, if you pay him a few dollars, he will make sure your car is there when you are ready to leave. Although I have never heard of any incidents where there was a problem wih a car. You neer know. As you walk in, you pay $10 and they give you a vouvher for a free drink. Just enough to get you started. The girls are more money hungry than I remember. Now after their set, they come begging for a dollar. They get fairly upset when you ignore them. Gone are the days when you earned money. There are a few ugly girls here. Before they were hot and latina and horny. I would give up my money faster with that attitude.

I was actually trying to kill time here since I had a friend leaving for the Caribbean at 6am. We left around 4am quietly and not truly excited. There was only one girl available who looked quite decent. It may have just been too late to see the real quality so one day I will return earlier to see for myself

I got here early so no cover or parking fee, which was the only good part of the visit. A dancer approached me at the bar as soon as I sat down and made a blatant pitch for extras. She was too large for my taste but unfortunately the others weren't much better. One interesting sight was an older guy at the bar was getting an OTC HJ from two gals who stripped down to nothing in the process. Obviously action can be had here but I stayed for only one mediocre lap since the gals just weren't appealing.

In 2001 when I was there for the first time, it was a 8/10. Great-looking gals with bodies to match, only too-willing to go the extra mile during lap dances while the bouncers would look the other way. The VIP rooms were even better. Though the VIP rooms were expensive, you got your money's worth.
Not sure what happened in the meantime but my trip in 2007 was disappointing. The quality has gone down very noticeably and the action is tame. The Gals seem disinterested and LD's are by the book. I went on several different nights to make sure it wasn't just one bad day - but alas - it was just SSDD (or SSDN, if you will)!!

Stopped by on a Thursday night. The club is real close to the airport. After parking the car by myself, the parking guy expects a tip. The cover is $10 after 7pm. There are 2 two stages, one of which was in the middle of the bar. After a dancer performs, she roams around the stage ask for tips. Most of the dancers are latin, speak little english and range from 4-8. Lap dances are $25 with a long song and are very high contact. If you are near the airport with with time to spare, I would stop in.



After the Dolphinks game, on the way west, we stumbled in. Friendly enough, but I wouldn't go here alone. Neighborhood has seriously declined over the last few yrs. Hot chicks, open layout, good dances. Too many 'boys' wannabe men in here though. Need to raise the minimum age here to keep some of these kids out. Not a bad time, but will be a while before returning.

Don't walk there at night. It's ok until you get to the overpass but then it's a little hairy.
The girls are great. They'll take you in a small semi-private room by the bar for some real fun but it'll cost you. The rooms have small swinging doors so you don't have a lot of privacy. Most of the girls seem to be Central American with a few other types mixed in.
I'm told the close by hotels will drop you off with their shuttles but I only learned that from the cab driver.

The club is located near the airport which is great for business travelers (like me). There is a valet for parking, but you wind up self parking and the valet expects a tip. I only give him a dollar since he doesn't do anything. There is no cover before 7PM, but again the girl at the door expects a tip (again I only give a dollar since she doesn't do anything). If you go after 7 it's a $10 cover, but you get a coupon for a buy one get one free drink. I don't know what mixed drinks are but a beer is only $3-$4. There are 2 stages, one inside the bar and the other off to the left side. There's always a dancer on the left side stage and there's one in the bar area only if it's busy enough. It's all nude with 2 song sets with the dancers nude on second song. There is a great variety of dancers. Overall I'd say above average. No knock outs, but a few 8's and a 9 with a few 4's mixed in. There is a private VIP area for $150 a half an hour but I get the feeling it's negotiable. I didn't partake so I can't comment on that. The regular laps are $25. They are out in the open in the corner by the VIP booths, but the bouncers don't bother you. High contact and I'm always satisfied. A lot of the dancers will try to entice you for a dance, not the usual wanna dance and walk off. Overall I think this place is great, with no real negatives. If the quality of dancers was a little better I'd give the place a 9. But the quality is not bad, just not outstanding. Also many speak limited english and can be hard to communicate with. Definitely stop in if you're in the area.

the girls here are too fine they have great dancers, they give lap dances and all that the vip is a little expensive though, the girls are so pretty and ull never look away when they are entertaining, they have great bodies and are just so damn fine, today was my fitst time at this club and it wont be my last as i didnt get to recieve a lap dance to to my lack of cash, but w/e if u ever get a achance i would reccomend this club to anyone thats lookin for a place where u caan get in free, best part is u get to get in at only 18yrs old, unlike alot of other nude clubs

PPK is hit and miss. You basically have a great opportunity to play with great latin girls. Most of the girls are thicker. You know if you really are into latin A$$, then PPK is the place for you.

I dont know if I should share too much here, because I dont want the place overrun..ha

BUT, lets say, everything can go down in the private rooms with that bubbly if you know what I mean. smiles.

I would suggest that knowledge of spanish would be a good enhanced thing to use here. If you can at least speak a little, the girls think it is cute that you are trying. Watch a little univision before going and practice. If you are trying to learn spanish, it is a good place to go and practice on fyne naked women also.

The place was amazing!!!! At least four girls that were 9-10's and the vip Candy gave me was off the charts..........sorry lost track of thought just thinking about it. Highly recommended if you are searching for a great time. The price for admission is about 5 and drinks specials alll the time, but VIP is a little pricey. For hte best time you will spend from 250-300. If you don't feel like spending that much a good time is still to be had. Watching is all good especially since the ladies are so BEAUTIFUL

I went here last weekend when I was visiting with some friend on a Saturday night.

The club was good. Of course you had a good amount of hot girl being in Miami and all. The dances were somehwta tame though. Maybe I was on a off noght but there seemed to be no energy in the club. Drink prices were on the high side.

This club is great if you want the atmosphere of the pre GC club era of strip clubs along with a decent selection of mostly latinas (5-7 range) to enjoy over some nice cold ones. If you want top talent, you will not find it here. Its also not in the best area. Reasonable prices.

This place is out in the ghetto, yeah, but there are several girls there who are smoking hot and damn can they dance. Ashanti, ridiculous dancer. Candy? also ridiculous. Taina ... now her, for her i'd, well, yeah she's hot and her dance skills are beyond compare.

On a trip to South Beach in September, stopped by this place due to a beautiful full color ad in one of the free newspapers. It's an old building, with old interior, not very well lit, but moderately clean.
The bar tender acted rude and annoyed, and not a single dancer approached us. The dancers all looked 'midwest small club sleazy' as oppossed to the 'hot miami beach babe' that we were looking for this night.
We thought twice about eating there, and instead went to talk to the DJ, who told us about a better club to check out.