the ultimate strip club list

October 7, 2008  •  Vol. 15, Issue 280

I visited the SB Rhino, and It has been remodeled about 3 years ago. The stage is smaller than it was before. It is no longer to the right as soon as you walk in. It is now located closer to where the bar use to be. Along with taking out the bar, they also took the tv's out. So no longer can anyone kick back at the bar and watch tv. Its either watch the stage show or get dances, thats it. For some reason, I think this club has lost its glamour so to speak, since they remodeled it. The girls are pretty, well at least some of them. I think maybe management should hire better looking ones though. A few of them were on the low end of the number scale, but most were decent looking. I dont really think I will be going back anytime soon. This place just looks depressing now, and the girls are not as fine as I remember. I think I will make the drive down to the oxnard club next time.

The Santa Barbara Rhino is pretty small. There is a stage right where you come in. Its just a tiny little stage barely enough room for the girl to dance. The place is pretty well lit so you can see all the pink you want.

Not many girls work there, but the quality is pretty high. On wednesdays some smoking hot girls come to amatuer night. ITs always fun when they sucker a girl from the university to try taking it off for the first time.

Low contact on the lap dances. As always YMMV but don't expect that you can grope anyone. The lap dances aren't all that private anyway.

The place was clean and pretty empty on a Tuesday afternoon. There were only three dancers working but they were all pretty hot, maybe 7s by any standards out of the biggest and best cities. Checker out all three in the 15 minutes it took to do 9 songs... In no time I had visitors and made my choice for private. I had a great time here with a dancer named Taylor. Great lap. Eager to please. Crotch grabbing and rubbing, some teeth through the jeans... I think she would have done much more but I got exactly what I wanted.

The dances are 10 dressed, 20 topless and 40 full nude. But they do have 2 for one and 3 for ones that increase your mileage. A little bummed out that the manager kept poking his head back in the VIP, at least he did it between dances.

WHen I'm in SB again, I'll go back!



This is a depressing dump that should be avoided at all costs. It's a tiny club with only a few dancers who make it as clear as possible that they would rather be getting a root canal than be dancing here. It's very dark and hard to see anything, including the dancers.

The private dances are pushed aggressively. They were good, with okay contact, but they didn't alleviate my growing desperation to get out fast. Admittedly I was there in the afternoon. The experience at night might be better.

This was probably like no other Rhino that I have experienced before. The only thing that pretty drew people in was the familarity of seeing "Spearmint Rhino" oustide of the building. Once I walked in, I knew there was a different ju-ju to what I usually experience at other Rhinos.

Don't get me wrong, the decor is definitely that of any Spearmint Rhino club in California. But it was much smaller than what I have seen at other clubs and on this particular night, there was a disagreeable smell in the room which probably aided my decision to not stay for so long.

Although I saw some pretty girls, I didn't find too many of them to my liking. For a Saturday night, they seemed like they had better things to do and it showed in their attitude. Needless to say, I didn't get a dance this night. There was no way that these women were going to be rewarded with my cash.

Just before I was about to leave, the DJ calls for a 20-for-1 dance. I scratched the inside of my ear to make sure I was hearing that correctly. A 20-for-1??? Is that even possible? So as the sub-par looking dancers waddled their way around the room looking for someone to take them up on this phenomenal deal, I said no to each one of them. I was more curious to see what this scam was all about.

So everyone settles in and the DJ starts in with is music. He was very excited to be offering this deal of a lifetime on the couches. I just sat back and wanted to see what the hell was going on here. As he plays the first song, everyone gets comfortable. Thirty seconds into the first song, he put on a different song and says "Song 2, gentlemen...". Another 20 seconds go by and he spins another song. He literally does this 20 times at 20 - 30 seconds per song. I saw the guys who were getting dances so frustrated after each 30-second song. It was hilarious. Some of the guys even asked the girls to stop dancing because they felt that they were getting ripped off. I saw one lapper yelling at the floor manager saying that this was complete BS! That was worth the trip right there. What these knuckleheads didn't figure out was that even at 30 seconds per song, they were getting a deal anyway. If you added up all those 20 songs, it was easily a good 8 - 10 minute dance for the price of one, usually at 2 - 3 minutes. I don't think that they offer this deal anymore just from the confusion that it created.

After that good laugh, I was out of there and headed back home to the OC!

wasn't impressed by reviews but thot I'd check it for myself. Reviews weren't wrong! Worst Rhino I've been to. Club itself is small but nice. Everything else sucks. High entance fee ($15) no bar, only 3 girls, NO touching during private dances, and the girls won't talk to you at all. I'd rather walk the wharf and watch women in rain gear than go back. High point of my visit was the female dj who at least was friendly.

I visited the Spearmint Rhino Santa Barbara recently...Wow. All the women, well except one, were hot. The club is very small. One small stage, two small vip areas, and very little seating. It wasn't very busy the night I went and there were still people standing, so I'm not sure how it is when it is busy. The dances were a little steep at $40 a pop, and no extras. A lot of grinding however. The women were so hot that I had to get a few dances. One of the girls, russian I think, was awesome. Completely legal, no touching at all allowed, however when the dance was over she pulled up my shirt to see if I had finished just from all the grinding. I didn't just because it would have taken a few more songs and I couldn't afford a few more songs. The girls, mostly blonde, appear to be from the college there. All in all, well worth the trip. Probably the best club without extras I have been too.

Once again, the previous reviews for this club are a bit limp, so let me fill you in.

This is a small club, with one stage off to your right as you enter, beyond which is the bar (nonalcohol drinks only). To the left are couches for patrons watching the dancer on state, behind which are semi-private, curtained couches for lap dances. At the far end of the bar across from the ATM machine is a very small , curtained VIP "room" that can hold up to three couples (but no more than two with comfortable privacy).

There is generally an acceptable dancer to customer ratio for most of the opening hours except from about 3 to 5 PM (the club opens at 3 on most days). From 5 PM to around 10 PM most evenings is prime hunting time, except on Fridays and Saturdays, when the club is packed.

Dances are $20 per for topless and $40 per for nude, both of which occur on the semi private couches. There is one fairly private couch at the very front of the club where single topless dances can occur. As ususal, the real action occurs on the VIP couches at the back of the club. A minimum three $40 dance (i.e., $120) is required for VIP services.

YMMV, of course, but I've achieved very high mileage indeed with several dancers by being a considerate, well groomed and scented gentleman who buys a drink and chats a bit first, treating the dancer like a ladly on a date that's going in the right direction. Expensive? Yes, but you get what to came for. Erotic, upscale, high mileage GFE at its best.

Cash is accepted for both dances and drinks ($5 for patron soft drinks and $10-$15 for dancer soft drinks), or you may buy "Rhino Chips" in denominations of $20 or $100 via a credit card with a 10 oercent service charge.

The dancers? They range from skanky and stupid to intelligent and in the 6-8 range, with a couple of 9s on duty every once in awhile. SB being a university town, the place gets its share of students and probably more than its share of tanned, blonde California girl types. Not a lot of African Americans, Latinas or Asians, although there is one Asian-Latina mixed dancer who blends the best parts of both with a fantastic eroticism in the VIP room.

Pricey, pretty small place compared to other places I've been. Girls seem to solicit, then quickly lose attention if you didn't seem as if you were made of gold. Had a few lapdances and watched the main floor and left. Cover was 20 dollars. Full-nudity/no drink setup, they seemed to offer a lot of 2 for 1 dances, hell a lot of the girls seemed really bored working.

I was there last Sunday and the place was a bit slow. They had some really good looking girls working there. I spoke to several of the ladies and I was surprised to find out that that some of them were really smart. Several of them had college degrees and were working there because they loved it. The girls seemed very friendly and not as pushy as those in big LA clubs.

Like most members of this chain, the place is clean... in all senses of the word. No worries about going here, but nothing spectacular -- no extras, tight survillance -- read: your hands ain't going anywhere. On the other hand, some real beauties here, most are 7 or 8 a couple of 9s, a couple of 6s, mostly white and hispanic. A good fun time, but I always wonder if I would have done better someplace skankier (but then, this is the only choice in SB...)

The girls are good looking. Had a lap dance from a very busty, very short girl. It was awesome. Had one gal put her head in my lap and do a headstand --- putting her pussy in my face / my nose in her slit. That got her an extra tip. It was a slow night, and the girls were a bit pushy about dances, and paying each time they walked in front of you at the rail --- and there were only 3 of us at the rail !!!

Visited on a Wednesday night. Ten dancers, mostly blondes, a couple of hispanics, and one asian. One stage in use, the dancers would dance two songs each, one clothed/topless and the other nude. Lap dances were $20 fully clothed, $40 nude. Occasionally, the DJ would run 3 for 1 laps, however, it was one of those joints that cut the songs short. Also, no alcohol.

Due to the short cut of the songs and the lack of talent, I was insufficently aroused and didn't get any dances. Note that UCSB and SBCC were on Winter Break so that may have diminished the quality somewhat. I will give it another try and report back.