the ultimate strip club list

September 5, 2008  •  Vol. 15, Issue 248

I went here twice. The first time was not a great experience. No tables available so I had to sit at the bar, with a promise that they would move me to a table when one became available, which never happened. And about every 5 minutes I got hit with the upsell offers - "Want to see our ‘crazy menu'?" Crazy Menu in Yerevan lists all the available services, which are pretty standard from one club to another - table dance, private dance, consummation (which sounds VERY tempting, but is probably a mistranslation because all it means is that the dancer will sit and talk with you, with some mutual touching possible, at your table for 10 minutes). I left from the first visit very unimpressed, in spite of fairly good hands-on contact with a few of the dancers, due to overall poor service and continuous pressure for upsell. But, because I saw potential, I gave it another chance, and this time got a booth near the action. There is a long stage down the middle of the club, with 3 girls dancing, and moving down the stage with each new song. So, each girl does 3 dances. Meantime, there is very liberal tipping, with the girls going up to any table where someone holds up a dollar or a lighter to indicate willingness to tip. There is fairly liberal contact with most of the dancers for a tip. Charlotte is one of two high-end clubs in Yerevan, the other being Omega. And overall, the layout and action are about the same. One strange thing with this club was that every 15 minutes or so, the topless babes disappeared, to be replaced by a stage act. One act was two very hot blonde singers in skimpy dresses - very cute act, and they also went soliciting tips but made it clear that no touching was allowed. Then there was the belly dancer - which seems to be common in Yerevan clubs. Unlike the singers, she was very open to physical contact with the customers. This is a pretty decent club, but suffers from comparison to Omega, where the girls are hotter and the real show is not interrupted by some pretense at more legitimate entertainment. About $15 to get in, $2 for a beer, and lots of $1 tips set me back about $60 for 2 hours of pleasant diversion.

If you're old enough to remember vinyl records and turntables, and have ever endured listening to Carlos Santana on a slightly warped record, played at a slightly slower than 33-1/3 RPM speed, that will give you a good idea of the experience of this club. The essence of the thing is pretty damn good - really hot dancers most of whom know how to dance, coming onto stage for one song each and getting down to nothing but g-string. But the lighting was so bad you could barely see the bare bodies. And this club is pretty strictly hands-off - I had my hands knocked away and was scowled at for kinds of touching that was allowed and encouraged in every other club in Yerevan. In another club I had seen a guy there with his girlfriend, who presumably behaving because of her presence, had tried to just hand a tip to the dancer. She just laughed and straddled him, pulling out her g-string far enough that he could see the promised land, and waiting until he inserted the dollar, at which time she grabbed his hand and held it there! In this club I was chastised, not for trying to fondle nipples or get inside a g-string; this was for just touching a leg! And, just as I had become accustomed to the singers and belly dancers who "grace" this, as well as most other clubs in Yerevan, they added a new element. During one song, all the dancers, fully covered, dance around the main floor carrying baskets from table to table soliciting "donations". And, adding insult to injury, they are accompanied for this exercise by a 300-pound woman in skimpy outfit. Presumably this was for comic relief, but it wasn't funny, it was just plain sad. I stayed less than an hour before deciding to call it a night.

I came to this club because I saw the website which was very good with some good pictures but no english version of the site.
Most of the girls performing were nice to look at but on a hot summer day in yerevan it is possible to see more sex appael on the streets than on stage of this club
But considering all I had a good time at this club and afterall this is the best reason to go to a club in yerevan.


Although I have a bias against this club because it has all the look and feel of a place run by organized crime, they are the only club in Yerevan who seems to know how to do this kind of entertainment right! The least attractive dancer in Omega is more attractive than the most attractive dancer I've seen in any other club in town. Dancers are friendly, too - talkative, laughing, seductive when they come to the table to get tips. Tips are completely optional, but well worth the up-close looking and physical contact with some of the most beautiful and sexiest women in the world. Dancers are mostly from Ukraine, with occasional Russian or Belarusian. Irina has possibly the most beautiful face I've ever seen, and Veronica the best body - pity they are not on the same person, but I guess there is some value in spreading the wealth. Omega has a long stage down the center of the room - same layout as Charlotte - giving a fairly close-to-the-stage vantage point from every seat in the house. Lighting is much better than Charlotte, so you can actually see the dancers. Music is appropriate volume, so you can carry on a conversation - and about half the dancers speak English. There is no pressure to buy private dances, which run about $30, but they are probably worth it as they are done fully nude, and allow touching almost everywhere. I don't know whether "extras" are available, but I got the feeling this was not allowed. One downside is that when I paid (in advance) for the private dance, the manager hit me up for a "tip for the dancer". It seemed like a good idea to give the tip, though I doubt the dancer saw any of it, and I left feeling like I had been shaken down. Still, for a $15 entry fee, a lot of $1 tips, and a $30 private dance, this comes close to the most fun I've had in a strip club. I'm looking forward to a return visit!

Housed in what used to be a decent restaurant, with a Soviet-parody theme, CCCP is now a less than decent strip club. This is one of two clubs I've visited in Yerevan that has accomplished the near impossible - attractive girls dance topless on stage with a lifelessness that could put the most severe insomniac to sleep. And just in case you find a dancer with enough chemistry to get you slightly aroused, about every 4-5 songs (loud, bass and drum thumping songs that make you want to run for Excedrin) are followed by a mediocre singer. The club is in a basement, and it is so dark that you have to wait for your eyes to adjust before you can walk through without danger. Although darkness might be an asset in some clubs that allow a certain degree of groping, this one seems to be strictly hands off. The night I went there were about 5 dancers, all rated 4-5, with another point deducted for their lack of enthusiasm. The only positive point about this club is price - you can get in for about $9, beer is less than $2, dancers hope for a $1 tip. But if you are a bargain-seeking strip club patron, you would do far better to head up Abovian a few blocks for Club Zeus where the lighting is better, girls more attractive and friendlier, music a few decibels quieter, and an overall feeling that if you went there 3 times this would be one of those neighborhood bars where "everybody knows your name". By contrast, at CCCP, I didn't want anybody to know my name, and was in no danger of revealing it because I couldn't stop yawning long enough to have a conversation.

First, an explanation about the name - which is written outside as Club Zevs, but I think Zeus is appropriate English translation. Kind of a blue-collar neigborhood bar feel. Comfortable seating in a small, intimate setting with pretty good views of the action from every seat. Like most of the "night clubs" in Armenia, the show includes a feature singer, interspersed with dancers. Some of the dancers get topless, others dance in lingerie, all will come to your table if you hold up a tip. In this club, tipping is pretty low-key, usually $1, and can include various levels of touching depending on the dancer. If you are interested in more, they have a "crazy menu" that includes table dance, private dance, slow dance with the dancer, etc. but prices seem pretty steep - $10 for a table dance, which seems to be pretty much the same thing you get for free, only the dancer stays a bit closer, and going up to $45 for a totally nude, private dance. Drinks menu is in Armenian and Russian, and not much English is spoken here, though most of the girls know a few words of greeting: "Where are you from?" "I come from Ukraine." I didn't experience much of a language barrier though - staff and dancers are friendly and helpful. Most of the girls come from Ukraine, though some are from parts of Armenia - you can pretty much tell by the higher degree of modesty in the Armenian girls. Girls are mostly 5s or 6s. I stayed for about 2 hours, with total damages around $30.